The Intrepid Trio
by Toadflame
Summary: Stories and drabbles about the friendship of Roy Harper, Wally West, and Dick Grayson.  Range from pre to post series and everywhere in between.
1. Learning to Drive?  No, Not Really

**I heard or read **_**somewhere**_** that, before YJ, Roy, Wally, and Dick all knew each other (that's the obvious part), knew each other's secret identities, hung out, fought crime, got in trouble, etc. I don't know if all of that is canon or not, but I'd really like to think it is and would like to see more of it. So, welcome to the Intrepid Trio Drabbles collection!**

**So far, I have 35 prompts to use, but I'm always open to suggestions! If you'd like to see something, let me know and I'll try to work it in somewhere.**

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Learning to Drive? No, Not Really.

* * *

"Step on the brakes, step on the brakes! BRAKE!"

The brakes squealed, sending all three passengers into their seatbelts.

"Oof, could you not step on them _that_ hard next time?" came the weak request from the backseat of the small Ford Fiesta.

"Sorry!" Wally said, signaling and turning left per Roy's instruction. "There was kinda a stop sign there."

"Yeah, that you obviously didn't see before we yelled to step on the brakes!" Dick fired back.

"Why did I agree to this again?" Roy asked his hands, which his face had taken refuge in. "Oh, that's right-I didn't. You begged and pleaded until I let you drive for a little while! OK, Wally, let's try this again, about five miles an hour slower."

"Roy, you're killing me!" Wally groaned. "We were only doing thirty-five before!"

"Yeah, well, I want you to do thirty now," the nineteen-year-old said, starting to wish that his car was one of those driver's ed ones with the passenger brake. "Don't laugh, Dick-you're next."

"I've still got two years, maybe by then I'll have convinced Bruce to take me himself," the thirteen-year-old scoffed.

"Good luck with that," Wally snickered.

Roy, however, didn't get the chance to join in, no matter how amusing he thought that. "DEER!" he shouted. "Brake!"

"Where?" Wally asked, stepping on the brakes and causing the Fiesta to lurch to a stop again.

"Oh, shit!" Dick swore, holding the door handle for support as the car stopped abruptly again. "There, left side."

"Oh, heh, those deer," Wally said sheepishly, watching them scamper across inches from the bumper of the car. "How'd you see them, Roy? They were way down there."

"Experience," the oldest gritted out, wondering where common sense had been tossed to the first time Wally had braked. "It comes with time and practice."

"Driving is so HARD!" Wally said, pressing the gas again. "You have to do all this stuff, and I can't look for deer and stop signs at the same time! I don't have to worry about that usually! Why do I have to do this again?"

Roy buried his face in his hands again, releasing a sigh as Dick said, "Wally, you can't run everywhere. Sometimes, you gotta be slow to keep your secret identity-get this, SECRET."

"And because Barry said you needed to learn to drive," Roy added. "He told me you'd been through driver's ed, not if you passed it or not."

"Hey! I'll have you know I passed that class with flying colors!" Wally boasted, then frowned. "And that's another thing. Nothing against you, dude, but he's my uncle. Why isn't _he_ taking me driving?"

"Maybe he doesn't have a death wish?" Dick suggested.

"Gee, thanks, both of you," Roy said sarcastically. "I feel so loved. It's good to know I'm appreciated."

"I did say nothing against you," Wally said.

"I know, it's Dick that I meant."

"Hey! I appreciate you, Roy, and don't you try to tell me otherwise!" Dick said. "I might just believe it, and then where will you be with only one person in your fan club?"

"I'd make a good fan club!" Wally said, indignant on his or Roy's behalf, Roy wasn't quite sure which.

"It's not you that would be in it," Dick snickered.

"_Don't_ bring Artemis in this," Roy warned. "That girl may not show it, but she has an unhealthy attraction to any guy older or bigger than her."

There was silence at that comment, and Roy turned to looked at the two. Wally wasn't even paying attention to the road, and Roy reached out to grab the steering wheel, dragging them back over to their side of the road before the driver in the opposite lane could run into them. "What?"

"Dude, I wasn't even _thinking_ of her!" Dick said, starting to laugh. "Are you serious?"

"Uh, no?"

"Hah, a weakness!" Dick nudged Wally. "Wally? Artemis has a weakness."

Wally didn't respond.

Roy pulled on the steering wheel, pulling the car over to the side of the road. "Wally, brake," he said, amazed when the younger redhead did so. They stopped, Roy putting the car in park.

"Dude? Snap out of it," Dick said, waving his hand in front of his friend's face, slightly worried. He looked at Roy, who shrugged.

Wally let out a strangled laugh. "Artemis has a weakness?" he asked, but it didn't sound like a question.

"Uh, yeah. Bigger, stronger guys than her."

"What are we waiting for, then?" Wally shouted, putting the car into gear and pulling around in a U-turn. "Let's go exploit it!"

"Wally? Wally!" Roy shouted, holding onto the handle for dear life. "Let's not-oh shit! BRAKE!"

They blazed through the intersection, running over a squirrel. They quickly caught up to the guy they'd almost hit earlier, and Wally nearly flipped the car onto two tires as he jerked the wheel wildly.

About five minutes later, Dick heard sirens. "Um, Wally?" he asked tentatively. "You know we're being chased by the cops, right?"

Wally didn't answer, speeding up ever still.

"Wally, pull the car over," Roy said, trying to make it sound threatening but failing as his stomach tried to escape up his throat. "Wally, pull over. NOW!"

Wally's only response was a laugh.

* * *

Megan was in the kitchen working on her baking when she heard the familiar _"Recognized."_ coming from the front entry. She grabbed the cookies out of the oven, and flew quickly to greet whoever was coming into the mountain.

She was just in time to see Robin materialize and throw himself to the ground. "Sweet, nonmoving land!" the young teen cried, hugging the floor the best he could and kissing it.

"What on earth happened?" Megan asked, watching a dizzy Red Arrow stumble out of the transporter, holding his stomach and mouth, and Kid Flash, who looked none the worse for wear. She giggled internally, glad she got the idiom right.

"He did!" Robin yelled, pointing at Wally. "He. Did."

Wally had a huge grin on his face as he raced off, tossing over his shoulder, "Where's Artemis?" But he didn't wait for a reply.

"It couldn't have been _that_ bad," Megan said, watching the speedster's trail as he raced around the mountain.

"Wanna bet?" Red Arrow asked, finally standing from his former leaned position against the stone.

Megan frowned. "Huh. Well, would one of my cookies help?"

She watched both Robin and Red Arrow turn green again, and Robin said, "I think I'm gonna go throw up now."

"Right behind you," Red Arrow said, both running toward the bathroom.

"What did I say?" Megan asked, bewildered.

* * *

**So, how was it? I kinda had the braking issue, like I'd be working on braking for a stop sign, and my mom would be like, 'Brake!' and I'd be like 'Working on it!' And yet, they gave me a license! I wonder what they were thinking…**

**Oh well. Send in those ideas if you have them! It's all about Roy, Wally, and Dick with others mixed in, so please remember to keep that in mind?**


	2. Halloween Pranks

**If you're thinking I'm crazy for posting this in February, let me tell you: it's never too early for Halloween! **_**Haley Tran**_** requested this, so I hope it's OK!**

* * *

"I hate working holidays!" Wally complained as he and Dick sat on a rooftop, both clad in costume. "Why do _we_ get stuck with it when Batman, Flash, and _every other hero gets off?_"

Dick sighed. "KF, they're not off, they're hosting the biennial Hall of Justice Halloween Festival."

"Who's holding what?" a familiar voiced asked, and Dick and Wally's heads swiveled.

"Roy!" both boys cried, standing.

"Hey, what are you two squirts doing out here all alone?" Roy grinned.

"We're apparently on-duty while everyone else gets to go have fun," Wally complained, cutting off Dick's small noise of outrage at being called a squirt and sitting back down heavily on the roof, staring as kids walked into the jewelry store across the street for Trick or Treating.

"Wally, I've told you, Megan and Artemis are over in Star City, and Superboy and Aqualad took Keystone and Central Cities because you wanted to partner with me and take Gotham," Dick said, dangling his boots off the edge of the roof again.

"Well, Gotham's supposed to be more fun on Halloween night," Roy said, sitting on the other side of Wally. He pulled out a bag of candy. "Tootsie Pops?"

"Yeah!" the boys said at the same time, then glared at each other. "Dibs on grape!" they both cried, then said, again at the same time, "I called it first!"

Roy snorted, pulling two grapes out of the bag. "Did you really think I'd forget that you two have this argument _every_ time that there's a grape Tootsie Pop involved?"

Both boys flushed, but they each took one of the proffered suckers.

"Indian!" Wally cried. "We can get more now!"

Roy just laughed, pulling out his own favorite-pomegranate. He unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth, watching the street for a moment. "So how's life treating you?" he asked casually.

"Good," Wally said, having finished his first one by now. He grabbed the bag, rifling around until he found his second grape sucker.

"Fun," Dick added, crunching a piece from the side. "I like it better just the three of us, though," he said a moment later.

"So do I. Roy, please?" Wally begged, throwing his best puppy dog eyes in the mix, though the sucker sticking out of his mouth ruined the effect a little.

"No one else banters with us!" Dick claimed, taking the mostly eaten lollipop out of his mouth before making his own pout.

It took most of Roy's willpower to get the courage to say 'No,' but before he could, a small alarm on Dick's belt sounded, and the Batsignal was in the air.

"That's us!" Dick said, standing. "Come on, Wally, Roy!"

The youngest took off, followed by Wally a second later. Roy couldn't help but smile and follow.

* * *

It was almost midnight when they were finished, and Roy said, "Hey, I have an idea." He whispered it into Wally's ear, trying to keep Dick from hearing. Said boy frowned. He wanted to know what was going on.

"Dude, that's perfect!" Wally said. "I'm guessing that's what you were going to suggest earlier before Scarecrow decided to make his appearance?"

"Yeah," Roy admitted, unabashed.

"What?" Dick cried. "What are you two planning?"

"Something fun. You'll love it, Dick!" Wally said, grabbing onto one each of Roy and Dick's arms. "Come on."

* * *

"No. NO way. I am NOT doing this!" Dick said, not bothering to keep his voice too far down. They were a ways away from the city, and no one was going to disturb them.

"Come on, you know you've wanted to do it," Wally said, grinning along with Roy. "Besides, he's not gonna know it was you!"

"Well, OK. As long as we stay out here," Dick said. He went around back to TP the trees out there, and Roy handed Wally several boxes of Saran wrap. The younger redhead saluted, racing off.

* * *

_The Next Day_

"DICK!"

Bruce's angry yell was not one that Dick wanted to hear on one of the rare non-school days of the year. Early in the morning, nonetheless.

"What?" he asked sleepily, following Bruce's voice to the garage door.

"What is this? Weren't you supposed to guard the city?" Bruce asked with a glare.

What Dick saw made his eyes practically pop out of his skull.

All of the Wayne cars were Saran wrapped, with spray paint on the sides of every vehicle that proclaimed, in loud colors of red and yellow, that "Dick Was Here" and "Dick Did This."

"But-but-but-but-!" Dick stuttered. "I didn't do that! Sure, I went out back and TPed the trees there, but I wasn't anywhere near the garage!"

"You're going to have to get that off of there, Dick," Bruce said, walking away. "You can start after breakfast."

"WALLY! ROY!" Dick yelled. He _would_ get back at his so-called friends for this.

* * *

Over in Central City, Wally awoke with a start. "Whoa," he said. "I think there was a disturbance in my Wally-Yelled-For meter…"

He shrugged. It hadn't come from this house, or it would've been much, much louder and much closer. He closed his eyes, falling back asleep quickly and dreaming of Saran-wrapped cars…

* * *

Roy sat outside on the fence, and he heard the muffled sound of Dick's yell as he discovered what he and Wally had planned. His job done, Roy left for Steel City with a grin on his face. Hopefully the Boy Wonder would find the Tootsie Pops Roy had left as a forgiveness beggar/peace offering.

* * *

**So, like I said, a Halloween thing, and people really do Saran-wrap cars! It's crazy, though I think one year the seniors were planning to do that to our principal's car…we like making fun of him. I mean, the guy wears a sweater vest practically every day and has an easy-to-target car. Who wouldn't do that to the poor guy? Oh well. ;)**

**Any ideas, send in, comments, questions, concerns, emotional outbursts (ahh!), etc. Hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Damage Control

_**J is for Joker**_** wanted an extension of the end of **_**Learning to Drive? No, Not Really**_**, where we learned what happened between Artemis and Wally. So this is the sequel. Sort of. This one's a drabble, the next chapter will be longer for you all!**

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Damage Control

* * *

"We have to find Artemis before Wally does," Roy said, stepping out of the bathroom.

A scream interrupted Dick's reply, so he said instead, "Too late."

"_Artemis likes big buff guys! Artemis likes big buff guys!"_ The two boys running through the halls could hear Wally sing-songing it. Loudly. Through a megaphone.

"Where'd he get a _megaphone_?" Roy asked, sneakers skidding on the rather slick floor when Dick made an unexpected turn. "Dude, what have I told Wally? Turn signals, that's all I ask for!"

"I'm trying to prevent collateral, possibly _catastrophic_ damage, and you're worried about me _turning_?" Dick asked incredulously. "And that is not all you ask for! You want brakes and probably a sane driver!"

"Yeah, well, that too. And don't blame me because I don't know the halls in this place!" Roy said, crashing into Dick when he stopped, and thus both boys went tumbling into Artemis' room.

Artemis looked up from her assault on Wally. "What do you two want?" she yelled, holding Wally up by the back of his shirt.

"We-we came to collect the Kid Blab," Dick gasped. "Red Arrow, get _off_ me!"

Roy rolled off the younger, standing. "Just, just let him go, Artemis, he's not worth it, honest."

"Hey!"

"Hmm, you're right," the blond agreed, letting go of Wally's shirt. Said boy stomped over to Roy.

"Thanks a lot. Next time, _warn_ me that she might get homicidal when I tease her!" he said grumpily, dragging Dick away by the arm. Roy could hear the black-haired teen protesting as they walked away down the hall.

"What did you _tell him_?" Artemis screamed as she nocked an arrow on her bow.

"Um, nothing?" Roy gulped.

"Why don't I believe you?" Artemis asked, drawing back the string and aiming now.

"Uh…KF! Rob! Wait for me!" Roy yelled, running in the direction they'd left with Artemis running after him. "Guys! A little help?"

"Get back here and take it like a man!" Artemis screamed.

* * *

**Poor Red Tornado and Black Canary. How do they put up with this?**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will be up shortly and will be longer. Much longer.**


	4. The Great Or Not Outdoors

**This was partially inspired by **_**swirlhearty23**_** because they mentioned Robin breaking his arm as an idea. I remember there being a Teen Titans episode where Rob's arm was fractured or broken or something, and that was the one that had Nosyarg Kcid (Dick Grayson backwards) and Johnny Rancid, but anyways, they wanted something that had Roy and Wally kinda taking care of him, so I blended that idea into here. Thanks for the idea, **_**swirlhearty23**_**! Hope this is OK!**

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The Great (Or Not) Outdoors

* * *

"Remind me why we're doing this?" Roy asked, hitching his backpack up a little higher before running to catch up with his two comrades.

"Because!" Dick said, throwing a grin over his shoulder. "You've never been camping before!"

"Don't you think there's a _reason_ for that?" Roy asked dryly.

"Nope!" Wally said. "You're seventeen and haven't gone camping. I'd say that this is as good a time as any."

"Speaking of camping, I'm surprised that Bruce and Alfred let you come," Roy said, poking Dick in the side. "You're only eleven."

"So?" the shortest asked, standing on his tip-toes. "I've at least gone camping before, Mr. Greenhorn. Besides, we're in a 20 square mile _park_ that is patrolled regularly. How lost or in trouble could we possibly get?"

"Whatever," Roy said, rolling his eyes. "Don't jinx it."

"Here it is!" came Wally's faint voice from ahead. He'd ran ahead during their conversation, obviously not waiting for the two slower members to get up there.

"Finally!" Dick cried, running ahead as well. "I'm starving!"

Roy snorted, following the two very crazy kids to their campsite.

* * *

"Wally, you work on a fire while Dick and I get the tent set up," Roy said, setting down his pack a couple minutes later. "You'll need-"

"Firewood!" the teen said, already having gotten the wood in the couple seconds Roy had been speaking.

"Uh, right." Roy still wasn't used to the younger's super speed. He watched Wally forego the lighter fluid and matches to just start rubbing two sticks together, and decided that he was _not_ getting involved in THAT. He turned to Dick.

"OK, so here's how you put up a tent," Roy said. "I've done that, at least."

"Yeah, so have I," Dick said, rolling his eyes, dragging the bundle from Roy's pack.

"Well, here, this one's complicated."

"I got it!"

Roy just stood back, shaking his head. He glanced over at Wally, who had gotten a fire started, simply by rubbing the sticks together, and decided that he didn't really want to know how the redhead had accomplished that.

"Gah!"

Dick's garbled cry immediately drew Roy's attention away from the speedster, and he hurried over to the mass of writhing fabric that obviously had entrapped the youngest of the three.

Roy grabbed the top of the column that showed Dick was standing, and started to search for an end to start unwinding it from the boy's body. Not a moment later, Dick's tomato-red face appeared, and he spluttered something that could've been an, "I had it!" in some weird language that he just made up.

"Can I help now?" Roy asked, starting to stretch out the tent so it was flat.

"Go right ahead," Dick growled, moving off the canvas.

Roy chuckled, thinking he had this down easy. A couple minutes later, in a very comical fashion, the tent, now stretched up on the two cross-pieces, snapped from where it was currently pinned by the supports, throwing the entire contraption over Roy.

"Ugh!"

"See!" Dick said, grinning. "It's harder than it looks!"

"I think you might be right," Wally said, and even beneath the fabric, Roy could smell what had to be burgers on the over-the-fire griddle. He heard the two smaller boys start to laugh.

"I could use a little help?" Roy asked, but it wasn't a suggestion.

Still laughing, Dick began to uncover the teen, starting with his feet.

"Roy, Wally! There's something wrong! There's feet in the tent!"

"Not funny!" Roy growled, but there wasn't any animosity in his tone. Well, not too much anyway.

"Sure it is, you just don't see the humor because you're the one _under_ the tent!" Wally called.

Finally out from under the tent, Roy dug the instructions out of the bag. "OK, so first we have to stretch it out," Roy said, sticking the instructions under a rock so they wouldn't blow away.

Ten minutes later, the tent was finally blown up, the air mattresses were being pumped full of air, and the smell of the burgers was mouthwatering. Wally finally declared them done and served them on paper plates.

"Mmm," Dick said, mouth full. "'his ish aweshum!"

"How about a little more words and a little less half-chewed food?" Roy suggested, before doing a double-take at Wally. "Dude, that's your third burger!"

"What?" Wally asked, his mouth full as well. "It takesh a lot to keep 'e enerhized!"

"What did I just say about half-chewed food?" Roy groaned before taking another bite of his burger. "To be honest, KF, I had my doubts, but these are some awesome burgers."

"That's what I said!" Dick said, finally able to be heard legibly.

"This is the awesome burger of Wally! Made with-"

"Ugh, dude, don't ruin it!" Dick said, holding his hands over his ears. "I don't wanna know what the heck you put in these things!"

"Agreed. I don't need to know you put…toenails or something in these to make them so good," Roy said, before stopping a second. "You didn't, did you? You did, didn't you?"

"No, no toenails," Wally assured his two comrades. "Not even a fingernail."

* * *

It was almost dark, and Roy stretched, full to the brim with s'mores and burgers. He stood reluctantly. "So, what do we do with the food?"

"Oh, that's easy," Wally said, throwing some things out of his pack. "We put all the food into one pack, put it in a nylon holding bag and in a tree with a bell, so we know if any bears come to eat it."

"BEARS?"

"Dude, however unlikely it is that there are _bears_ in this park, it's the safest thing to do," Dick said, accepting the bundle that Wally handed him. "Everyone put any food you have into here. Even if there are no bears, there's still small animals that will try to get to it."

With all food safely stashed into the bag, Dick set it on the ground, carrying the end as he scampered up the tree to a medium-sized branch. He cinched the knot, and carefully climbed down.

The three boys went into the tent, where Dick regaled the two of them with horror tales of some of Gotham's nastier villains.

* * *

Roy opened his eyes blearily. Something had woken him up, and it had to do with a bell.

"Guys," he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Something's going on out there."

No one answered, and Roy clicked on the flashlight to see that neither boy was in his bed.

"Odd," he muttered, only to be cut off by a strangled cry, a yelp, and a thump.

"What's going on?" he asked, fighting his way out of the tent and aiming the light at the tree they had hung the food in.

Wally was kneeling on the ground next to a groaning Dick. "Are you OK?" the speedster asked hysterically. "Roy, Dick fell out of the tree, I think his arm's broke!"

"It is," came the pained groan. "Simple fracture, I think."

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…" Wally muttered. "NOW what do we do?"

"We splint the arm and get him to the hospital," Roy said, trying to keep a level head.

"We'd be better off staying here for the night," Dick said. "Splint it and go in the morning."

"What, no!" Roy said.

"Yes!" Dick argued back.

"Give me one good reason we shouldn't just go now!"

"Because then we can't check out on time and get the return back?"

"That's not important," Roy protested. "Injuries come first."

"Fine. How about, it's midnight and you don't know the way to the hospital?"

"Dick, we should get you to a hospital."

"What you should do is splint my arm! Millionaire's sons don't come into the emergency room at midnight!" Dick said, pushing himself up with his good right arm. "I'll do it myself if I have to."

By the time the words were even out of his mouth, Wally had fetched the four straightest sticks he could find, bringing them back for Roy's inspection.

"Those will work," the seventeen-year-old said, placing them on Dick's left arm and instructing Wally to hold them in place. He tore strips from his shirt to bind it together.

The arm was already swelling."

"Dick, you need to go to the hospital!" Roy insisted, pulling the knots tight. Turning the arm over, he blanched. "Now, preferably."

"Why?" Dick asked as he was pulled from the campsite.

"Uh, dude, there's a pretty good chunk of bone sticking out the side of your arm, how's that for a reason?" Wally asked.

"That's a pretty good reason, yeah," Dick agreed, walking quicker than before.

* * *

An hour later, they were lost.

"We are not lost," Roy argued. "I just…don't remember that tree, is all."

"I could zip out and see where the road is," Wally offered.

"Go," Roy agreed, and Wally was back seconds later.

"We're actually not too far from the parking lot. This way," Wally said, leading the trio onward.

* * *

Finally, they were at the pickup that Roy had borrowed from Ollie. Sandwiching Dick between them, Roy and Wally climbed in and began to drive from the lot.

"There, follow the signs," Wally said, glancing over at the eleven-year-old in the middle. "Dude, you don't look so hot."

"Thanks," Dick said sarcastically. "Bone sticking out of my arm does that."

"Shouldn't you be passed out by now?" Roy asked, glancing at the other.

"Probably, but I'm not going to," Dick said stubbornly.

A minute later, his head lolled against Wally's shoulder.

"He's cute when he's sleeping. In a totally platonic, little brother way," Roy said, adding the last bit at Wally's smirk.

"Yeah, he is, isn't he?" Wally asked, putting an arm around said boy's shoulders. "There's our exit."

* * *

"Family for Richard Grayson?" a stern nurse asked a couple hours later.

Both Roy and Wally stood, as neither of their mentors nor Bruce were there yet. "We're his friends, the ones who brought him in," Roy said.

"Well, he's fine, a little lightheaded from the surgery yet, but he's awake and in a cast. I could let you in for a couple minutes until Mr. Wayne is here."

She led the two down the hall to Room 32. "Go easy on him. Even though he's had minor surgery, it's surgery nonetheless, and he doesn't need too much excitement."

The nurse left the two alone, and they looked at each other before stepping inside.

Dick sat on the bed, eating some pudding they must've brought in. "Hey, guys!" he said, waving his spoon at him. "Check this out!"

He proudly displayed to them a bright red cast.

"Sweet!" Wally said, pulling a black marker from seemingly nowhere. "Dibs on signing that thing!"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Are you glad we brought you in now?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's better than it could've been, anyway," Dick said, shrugging.

Wally handed the marker to Roy. "Your turn," he said, stealing a swipe of Dick's pudding.

Roy looked at the marker, then at the younger. "It's alright," the boy said, waving his arm at him. "Just sign the stupid thing."

Roy smiled, scrawling his signature on the cast.

Bruce knocked a minute later. "Hey, you OK?" he asked gruffly.

"Fine, Bruce," Dick said, waving the cast in his direction. "I got a cast and everything, thanks to Roy."

"Thank you," the man said formally, but Roy could tell the man was glad.

"We'll be leaving now," Wally said, dragging Roy from the room.

"No offense, but he scares me," Wally confided in the hall.

From in the room, Roy heard Bruce ask, "Who's Toy Marker?"

* * *

**Someone else had Roy's signature being like chicken scratch and no one could read it, so I kinda made that into here as well. Toy Marker is Roy Harper.**

**I hope you liked it, **_**swirlhearty23**_**, and everyone else! This one was pretty fun to write, and I hope it was fun to read!**


	5. Surprise Party

_**Bluejayz35**_** wanted a surprise party for Roy. This…is what happens when you let Wally, Dick, and Superboy plan it. It's Wally and Dick's fault. Really, it is!**

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* * *

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Surprise Party

* * *

"So, you're calling the strippers, right?" Wally asked from his upside down position on Dick's bed in Mt. Justice.

The other glared. "Not a chance! _You_ do it if you want them that badly; besides, we're planning a birthday party, not a-"

"Joker celebration in Gotham?" Wally offered with a grin.

"I was gonna say brothel. The Joker doesn't _have_ strippers!" Dick said, propping himself up to look at Wally.

"What about that assistant of his, Haley or Harry or…"

Dick snorted. "Harley Quinn? If that girl's a stripper, I'm a millionaire."

"…But you _are_ a millionaire," Wally said, rolling over to look at his friend quizzically.

"You're a millionaire?" Superboy asked, walking into Dick's room unannounced. He had his customary frown on his face, but it was pinched by his confused expression.

"Hey! Don't look!" Dick yelped, closing his eyes quickly. He scooted forward, trying to reach the sunglasses on his beside table.

"Supey, what did we tell you about knocking first?" Wally scolded, latching onto Dick's legs as the younger nearly fell off the bed trying to blindly grab the sunglasses.

Superboy frowned harder, handing Dick the glasses, which were just out of reach of his fingertips. "You're a millionaire?" he repeated.

"No, that's the point of the analogy," Dick said, pushing himself onto the bed again and drawing his legs out from under Wally's arms. "I'm not rich, and Harley Quinn is not a stripper."

"Coulda fooled me," Wally muttered. "You should've used a different analogy." He grunted when Dick elbowed him, glaring.

"I see," Superboy said, his tone showing that he didn't understand but he'd let it go. "What are you doing?" he asked, noticing the papers in a messy heap on the bed.

"Planning a surprise party for Ro-Red Arrow," Wally said, hastily correcting himself for his near slip.

"Yeah, it's gonna be awesome!" Dick added, sitting up fully. "Wanna help us plan?"

"I…don't know much about parties," Superboy admitted, sitting on the corner of the bed anyway. "What do you do?"

"All kinds of stuff!" Wally said enthusiastically, sitting up as well. He spread the sheets out so Superboy could see them. "This is what we have so far, and this is what we have for extra stuff," he explained. "Now, this is what we're thinking…"

* * *

Roy dropped his keys into the small dish on the side of the table just inside his apartment door. It had been a long day at college, and he wanted to rest for a little while, maybe see if Wally and Dick would come patrolling with him. It was his birthday, after all. Who could refuse the birthday boy?

He flicked the light switch on.

"SURPRISE!" came the shout from several people. Roy let out a (manly) shriek and grabbed the nearest weapon-his bag of textbooks-and waving it around.

"Stay back!" he yelled.

"Dude, it's just us," Wally said, appearing behind him. "Put down the textbooks and help us celebrate your birthday!"

"'Us?'" Roy asked, quirking an eyebrow when he saw all of the Young Justice team, minus Artemis, crammed into his tiny apartment. "Wow. I'm touched."

"You haven't seen the best part," Dick snickered, walking over to the table. "Voila!"

There were cupcakes, frosted and sprinkled, under a small towel. Each of them were decorated with an RA, obviously meant to signify Red Arrow. The background, however…"Are those _green arrows_?" Roy growled, examining them closely.

"Artemis' contribution," Kaldur said, coming over. "She did not wish to come, but she gave you a…gift, in her own way."

"I see that," Roy said, but they looked too good to resist. He bit into one, and nearly choked.

"I think I forgot to mention that Megan cooked them," Kaldur added dryly. "You will need to view them, rather than eat them, I believe."

"I'm sorry, were they supposed to be edible?" Megan asked, looking worried. "Wally and Robin said that I should make them according to Martian directions, because they were for viewing, rather than eating."

"No, this is fine," Roy said, giving a sideways glare to the two snickering boys that he called friends. "I'll just put them up somewhere."

"Come on, everyone, out to the parking lot for games!" Wally said, ushering everyone else out. "We've got something better planned later," he whispered to Roy, dragging him along by the arm with Dick pushing the small of his back.

* * *

"You're kidding," Roy deadpanned, looking at the wall. "I am not doing that. I am twenty now, I do have _some_ self-respect left."

"Come _ooon,_ R! This is as much for you as it is for Megan and Supes! Neither of them have experienced a 'true blue' Earth birthday!" Wally said, using the abbreviation of Roy's name that they'd come up with so as not to get in trouble again for a name screw-up.

"Yeah, but Pin the Tail on the Donkey? Isn't that childish, even for you two?" Roy asked, looking at the poster.

He finally gave in, easily dominating the game. He got a few strange looks from one of his neighbors as she walked through the parking lot, but she didn't comment, and neither did anybody else who walked by.

"Presents!" Dick yelled, dragging Roy back up to his apartment. "You've got something good, too!"

"Way to ruin it!" Wally said, following quickly with everybody else wandering after him. "You're not supposed to tell him!"

"Oops," Dick said, not sounding sorry in the least. "Oh well. Come on!"

* * *

"A gift certificate to the _Spice: Adult Gifts_?" Roy said, not sure he'd read that right. He glared at Wally and Dick. "Which of you two yahoos came up with this one?"

"Uh, that's from me," Superboy said, raising his hand. "They gave me a list of stores that I might be able to find something, but I wasn't sure what to get, so I just picked the first one on the list and got you a gift certificate."

"Oh, I'll _bet_ they gave you a list," Roy muttered. "Thank you, though."

Roy picked up another one, and was about to shake it when Megan said, "No, don't! They'll break!"

Roy gave her and the box a confused glance, but simply opened the gift. "Cookies?" he asked, picking one up.

"Edible this time," she promised with a smile.

"Thanks," he said, biting into one. "Delicious," he mumbled around the cookie in his mouth, and was rewarded with one of the Martian's bright grins.

Kaldur got him a conch, which would bring him help should he need to cross the ocean. "It's connected to a dolphin, who, in turn, will be able to listen and understand you while you have the conch on you," he explained.

"Handy," Roy commented, carefully placing the conch back into its box.

"What do these arrows do?" Roy asked after he'd opened the next present, knowing full well who they were from.

"Glass-fixing. They're programmed with nanites to pick up all shards of glass and repair a window within two minutes," Dick said. "They will then return to the pouch at the end of the arrow, and will fly back to you via the tracker within the pouch and your arrow holder."

Roy smiled, knowing no words were necessary. He tore the wrapping off the last one.

"Is this…" he asked.

"It is."

"No way."

"Way."

"How…"

"I know a guy," Wally said, extremely proud of himself.

"This is…"

"What is it?" Kaldur interrupted, trying to look over Roy's shoulder.

"It's only the ONLY edition of Marvel: Superhero Classics, the Lost Edition!" Roy said. "In plastic and signed by the author himself."

"No way!" Dick said, slugging Wally in the arm. "Why didn't you tell me that's what you were getting him?"

"With that stunt earlier? Or did you forget your outburst about getting 'something good?'" Wally asked, using air quotes.

"I-wow. Wow," Roy said, speechless.

"Just remember this next time you want revenge on little ol' me," Wally said.

* * *

It was several hours later when everyone left.

"Finally," Dick said, pulling off the sunglasses quickly. "I think my eyes died from lack of light."

"Lemme see." Roy took Dick's chin in his hand and pretended to inspect the eyes. "Nope. Still baby blue."

"Don't call them that!" Dick said, jerking his face away. "I want something better than 'baby blues.' That's what _girls_ have!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Wally quipped, carrying out something in a box. "Here's your real cake, Roy."

He pulled the edges of the box down, revealing a two-layer cake with red frosting and black icing. On top were three Tootsie Pops in Robin, Kid Flash, and Red Arrow uniforms, the former two on grape suckers and the Red Arrow in the middle on a pomegranate. Several other pomegranate suckers were stuck in the cake around the edge around the bottom of the second layer, with four other grapes.

"You two couldn't resist, could you?" Roy said, teasing his two friends gently.

"Admit it, it's the best cake you've ever seen," Wally needled, setting it down with a flourish.

"Yeah, that it is," Roy said. "Best twentieth birthday ever."

* * *

**I couldn't resist getting sappy at the end. If you don't know what it is, a Spice: Adult Gifts store is where, well, adult gifts are. It might be best if I don't corrupt you…but just so you know, they don't sell cooking spices there.**

**I hope you enjoyed! Send in any questions, comments, concerns, emotional breakdowns, ideas, etc. if you have them, and I'll do my best to respond appropriately!**


	6. Vampires vs Werewolves

**So, **_**J is for Joker**_** mentioned maybe having Megan and Artemis talking about Twilight, and the boys just be like, 'Oh, that's stupid!' yada yada yada, then totally arguing about it and ignoring the girls. Well, I'll admit that I know NOTHING about Twilight as it is one of the things that I detest most in this world (and no offense is meant to ANYONE who reads/likes Twilight, I just don't like it, and to be honest, it's right up there with stuff that I normally like, so I don't know why I don't like it). The Youtube video is real, so I didn't make it up, and it is Twilight Series for Dummies by maggiehanna.**

**The Anonymous reviewer of chapter four pointed out that Roy grew up with the Navajo Indians. I didn't know that, I thought he was a city-boy. *smacks head* Shows what I know, thanks for pointing that out! And I'm sorry that I can't respond to each and every anon, I thought that this one was important to point my mistake out. Though I think that living with the Navajo is different from camping in and of itself, it's good to know that I'm making mistakes! But…for the sake of this story…could we possibly pretend that he hasn't been actually camping before instead of just living off the wilderness? *is small* Besides, there are quite a few tribes that have modernized…I mean, look at the Menominee, Ho-Chunk, and Oneida tribes in my state of WI, for example. They still live on reservations, yet have more modern housing, ways of cooking (stoves, etc.), and they even run casinos! I don't know what it was like for Roy growing up, but if it's anything like what we have up here, he might've grown up living like many Americans do. Either way, let's pretend? Please?**

**So, sorry for the very long author's note, I just wanted to point out that that video is real, and respond to Anon asking for forgiveness (please?). Several others have reviewed anonymously, and I'd really like to thank them for it as well. Anyway, on with the show! Or, books/movies in this case.**

**

* * *

**

Vampires vs. Werewolves

* * *

"So, do you have all that?" Artemis asked, walking into the room with Megan. Roy, Dick, and Wally were on the floor of the living room in the mountain, all three playing some game on the X-box. Megan flipped the light switch on.

"Argh!" came three groans, and Dick threw a hand over his eyes.

"Turn it off! I can't see!" Wally said, still punching buttons.

"The light! It burns!" Roy claimed, burying his eyes into the sleeve of his black shirt.

"What's _he_ doing in here?" Artemis asked, pointing at Roy.

"We invited him," Dick said, putting his sunglasses on so that he could look at Artemis, both without her seeing his eye color and so that he could see in the brightness that was rapidly becoming much easier to see in. "Would you _please_ turn the light off?"

"Artemis has promised to show me a video that condenses the Twilight books so that I could go see the movie she just got," Megan explained, "and we were wondering if we could borrow your laptop."

"Really?" Wally asked, putting down his controller. The game had long-since been paused.

"Dude, no, please. I don't want that on my computer," Dick said, snagging the laptop from the table and holding it protectively to his chest. "Besides, there _are_ other computers in the mountain."

"None that are as fast!" Artemis complained.

"Please, Robin?" Megan asked. "I would like to know what a 'Team Edward' and 'Team Jacob' are."

"Give the lady the laptop," Wally said, tugging it from his friend and handing it to Megan. "Team Jacob all the way!"

"WHAT?" Roy cried, drowning out Dick's legitimate protest of his laptop being taken away. "You're a closet Twilight fan?"

"Dude, no! Ew!" Wally said, practically pushing Dick over to stare at Roy. "R, I would NEVER be a fan of Twilight! _Obviously_, I'm a werewolf fan!"

"Then make that clearer!" Roy snapped, standing. His height made him look giant from Dick's position on the floor. "Team Edward!"

"NOW who's a closet Twilight fan?" Wally snorted.

"Um, Twilight fans are called-" Artemis began.

"We don't care!" Roy and Wally shouted at the same time.

"And I'm so OBVIOUSLY a vampire fan!" Roy added, looking smug.

"Guys…"

"D!" they both cried at the same time. "Back me up!"

"D?" Artemis and Megan asked at the same time.

"We all have a nickname that's just the first letter of our names," Dick explained, ignoring his two friends. "My name starts with D, Red Arrow's with an R, and Wally's with, well, a W."

"Oh," Megan said. "He-llo, Megan, that should've been obvious."

"Shoulda, woulda, wasn't," Artemis said. "Now, come on, we've got his computer, let's go let it load so you can get an idea of what's gonna be going on."

"I never said-oh, never mind," Dick said, waving the girls off. "I've got to deal with this mess."

"Come _on_, D! You KNOW werewolves are badass!" Wally said, turning pleading eyes on one of his best friends in the world. "You're totally on my side!"

"No, he's on my side! We've gone and seen more vampire movies than you've seen of werewolves!" Roy countered. "Come on, D, you know that vamps are where it's at!"

"Guys, are you really gonna fight over this?" Dick asked, a sinking feeling in his gut saying that yes, they were going to fight this issue to the death. Possibly literally.

"Yes!" they said, confirming Dick's fear.

"Fine, let me think about it," Dick said, standing up. "I'm going away now, and you guys better not follow me!"

They watched him go, and Roy stood up. "Well, there's no use fighting over it," he said, heading for the transporter. "But I think I know how to get him on my side."

"What are you talking about? Dick's on MY side!" Wally said, looking around to make sure no one heard him say Dick's name aloud. But he got an idea too, and raced off. He'd need a lot of preparation.

* * *

It was a little while later, but they both stood outside Dick's door, ready to go in and wage war, if necessary.

"Out of the way," Roy said, holding a plastic bag. "I have the best gift of all."

"Pales in comparison to mine," Wally sniffed, also holding a plastic bag. "I got him something he'll actually _enjoy_."

They glared at each other, then moved at the same time, trying to muscle past each other.

"Move!"

"Out of my way!"

The door opened.

"Guys?"

Roy shoved Wally to the side, handing Dick the bag. "For you," he said. "From Team Vampire."

"Nuh uh, this is better! From Team Werewolf!" Wally claimed, handing Dick his own bag.

It took a moment, but Dick finally looked at the two boys he called friends. "You both got me grape Tootsie Pops," he said.

Roy and Wally glared at each other again. "You stole my idea!" they yelled at each other. "Me? No, you stole MY idea!"

"Roy, Wally!" Dick yelled, glad the other four were out training. "I promise, I'll tell you what team I'm on, but I'll do it tomorrow!" He slammed the door shut.

Roy and Wally threw one last glare at each other and stalked off in opposite directions.

* * *

The next morning, Dick walked out to the living room with four bags, grinning widely. "OK, I've made my choice," he said, grinning even wider when all of the other Young Justice members were there as well.

"What were you choosing?" Kaldur asked, but was quickly shushed by Artemis.

"I'll tell you later," she said, "but I wanna watch this."

Dick handed a bag to each Wally and Roy, leaving two in his hands. "Don't look yet," he said, turning around. He pulled a black shirt over his head, turning around. _TEAM SWITZERLAND_ was displayed proudly across his chest in white, with an outline of Switzerland below it.

"OK, show everyone what's in your bags!" he grinned.

Roy hesitantly pulled out a black T-shirt like Dick's, but his was emblazoned yellow sparkly lettering that read _TEAM VAMPIRE_. Below it read _Vamps are where it's at!_ In bright, pink, sparkly letters.

Wally's was almost the same, but the shirt was pink. _TEAM WEREWOLF_ was written in a purple-sparkle scrawl, and below it said _Team Jacob Forever!_ In a black sparkly exterior.

"You have to wear those all day for putting me through all that," Dick said, laughing.

Artemis was howling her head off in laughter. "That was genius, Robin!" she said, giving the younger boy a high five. "You just made my day."

"Yeah, well, I want my laptop back," Dick said, picking up the fourth bag. "Thanks for the idea, too," he added, handing her several grape Tootsie Pops.

"Don't you have banana?" she asked, holding onto the suckers anyway.

"No, sorry, they only give me grape," Dick said, picking up the other three discarded bags and walking away.

Artemis led her three other teammates into the kitchen for breakfast, animatedly telling the two clueless sixteen-year-olds and Megan more or less what the shirts meant. Roy and Wally looked at each other.

"That was a stupid thing to fight over," Wally admitted.

"Yeah. Truce?" Roy asked, holding out a hand.

"Truce. Wanna get back at him?"

"Hell yeah."

Wally gave a truly evil grin. "I say we go…_out_ for breakfast today. I'll drive."

"D!" Roy yelled, walking down the hall Dick had gone. "We have a surprise for you!"

* * *

**So Dick sorta got his revenge. Sorta. This is pretty much going to have pranks throughout a lot of the chapters going back and forth between these three, with maybe a few other people joining in on the fun.**

**Questions, comments, concerns, emotional outbursts, ideas, CORRECTIONS!, etc. can all be submitted by pressing that little button that says 'Review' or by PMing me through the site. Hope you enjoyed!**


	7. That's Not a REAL Power!

_**echoecho-girl**_**, another anon, asked for two fairly unusual requests. The first was something about a toilet, which I'm afraid to say, my dear, you probably won't be getting. Her other request was the guys commenting on an episode of **_**Ben 10 Ultimate Alien**_**, another TV show on Cartoon Network if you're unfamiliar with it (I'm a closet fan, OK? I don't watch it often anymore, but once in a while I watch it for Kevin…mmm), and I combined it slightly with **_**Bluejayz35**_**'s request for more pre series pieces. While there will be plenty, I felt this one would best be suited for a pre series setting.**

**Hope you all enjoy!**

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* * *

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That's Not a REAL Power!

* * *

Roy sat on the worn couch, wondering how he'd been roped into this. He was squished uncomfortably between Dick, still with his arm in a cast, and an overly-hyper Wally. The thirteen-year-old had flipped the TV to some cartoon, and he and the newly-turned twelve-year-old Dick were animatedly discussing the show.

And they were arguing. Again.

"That guy," Dick said, punctuating his statement with a jab toward the TV with his casted arm, as his good arm was squashed between his and Roy's bodies, "does NOT have legitimate powers! He gets them from a watch!"

"Dude, that's totally a power! It doesn't matter how you get them, they're still powers!"

"Yeah, but he needs the _watch_ to do it!"

"So, you're saying that Green Lantern isn't a real super powered person because he gets his powers from a ring?"

Dick paused, mulling it over. "That's different!" he protested. "Green Lantern exists. This guy doesn't."

"So?" Wally asked, snorting. "It's a _cartoon_, Dick. It's allowed."

"Well, it shouldn't," Dick said. "He's totally ripping off Green Lantern!"

_Oh, not again!_ Roy though with a groan. He decided to try and nip this argument in the bud. "Dude, hand me the remote."

"No!" Wally said, and a fraction of a second passed before he was on the other side of the room. "It's my house, I'll decide what's on the TV!"

"You two are currently _arguing_ about what's on the TV," Roy said, scooting over to give Dick some room on the couch, as it currently had one less occupant.

"Well, we wouldn't be if there was anything else on," Wally said glumly, walking back over to the couch and wormed his way back between Roy and the edge of the couch, forcing the older boy to sit back in his former position and Dick to find his own comfortable position. Again. The boy ended up with his arm over Roy's shoulder and legs dangling down toward the floor. He wasn't quite tall enough to reach it, however.

"I'm too short," he sighed.

"You just haven't grown yet," Wally said, quick to console the boy he'd been arguing with moments before.

"Wally's right. You just need another couple growth spurts. Until then, though," Roy said, grinning as he said the last part, "I can call you squirt."

* * *

**Another short drabble. I hope this is OK, echoecho-girl, because I wasn't quite sure what you meant by either of them. I did the best I could!**

**And now you all know the origin of the nickname squirt! Roy kinda just adopted it to both of them, as they are both shorter than him in the series.**


	8. Oh, What's In a Name?

_**RandomCheesecake**_** asked for one where Artemis and Megan are trying to guess Dick's name and end up with the Bat right behind them-kinda like those scenes in movies where you have one character insulting/making fun of another, and that character ends up in trouble for it. I hope you like it!**

**Also, the title of this chapter IS a quote this time! If you can tell me who said it, what book/movie/etc. it was in, and who wrote/directed said book/movie/etc., you will have more useless knowledge! Yay!**

**Another fun fact-if you're unfamiliar with the Darin spelling, you may be more familiar with Darren. I've seen it both ways, there was an older guy who graduated the year before I started high school whose name was spelled Darren, but there's also a kid in my class with the name spelled Darin. Go figure.**

**Two more fun facts-I included the name of another Batkid. If you can tell me which D-name I used that is also the name of a Batkid, and what the last name of said Batkid is, you get triple the random knowledge! Awesomeness! Who DOESN'T love random knowledge? Eh? Eh?**

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* * *

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Oh, What's In a Name?

* * *

"Dakota?"

"…No."

"Dalton?"

"No."

"Damon?"

"No!"

"D'oniw?"

"Can I even pronounce that?"

"Probably not, I'm thinking she just made that one up. OK, so no Martian names. Daniel?"

"No."

"Darin!"

"I have a classmate named Darin, but no, that's not his name," Wally chuckled from his spot on the couch, where he was currently being beat by Roy.

"David?"

"Not that either," Roy laughed, punching a couple buttons on the game. "Oh, yeah! Owned."

"Who says 'owned?'" Dick asked with a frown. "You guys aren't helping, you know."

"We know," Wally and Roy chorused.

"Hey!" Artemis said, waving a hand in front of Dick's face. "Attention back on us. Dale?"

"No!"

"Damian?"

"Nope."

"Dash?"

"That sounds like it should be KF's name," Superboy said, walking into the kitchen at that moment.

"I'd resent that if it didn't sound like it could be," Wally said, nearly jumping off the couch in his haste to push buttons. "Dude, you've got to be cheating! Only Rob plays like that!"

"I'm not/He's not," Dick and Roy said together.

"Dawson?"

"Devin?"

"Davin?"

"No, no, and no!" Dick said, turning to the two girls. "What are you doing with my laptop, again?"

"Looking up names," Artemis replied smartly. "Ooh, here's a good one-Delbert."

"Ugh," Dick said, shivering. "Sounds horrible."

"This one's better. Dempster," Megan said, pointing to the page.

"Where do parents even come UP with this?" Dick asked, peering at the screen in spite of himself.

"I don't know. Hey, what about Diego?" Wally asked from the couch.

"Yeah, Diego!"

"That must be it, Wally and Red Arrow both know Robin's name!"

"Gah!" Robin cried, popping over the back of the couch to squish himself between Roy and Wally. "You aren't helping!" He messed with a couple buttons on Roy's controller.

"Hey!"

"Dude, that's awesome!" Roy said, his car now going twice as fast as it had before.

"_Di-_!" Wally cried, stopping himself in the middle of Dick's name before it fully slipped out.

"D I!" the girls said, Artemis typing it in frantically on Dick's laptop.

"Two letters!" Artemis added. "We're getting close if it really _is_ Diego!"

As she did that, Dick happened to look over the back of the couch. The girls had pulled the side table to behind the couch, and were facing it. But behind them, the flat screen had lit up, displaying Batman's emotionless face. Dick, having lived with the man for years, immediately saw that his mentor had seen what the girls were looking up, and he wasn't happy.

"The Dark Knight's got nothing on us," Artemis boasted. "We have…the internet!"

"Is that right?"

"Oh…Batman!" Artemis said, spinning around guiltily. "We, ah, we were just…"

"Writing an essay about some strange names that appear in society today!" Megan finished, propelling Artemis-with Dick's laptop in her arms-out of the room. "Unless you need us, we'll be going!"

"Robin," the man growled, spotting his ward's black hair over the back of the couch. "Come here."

"Uh…hi," Dick said, giving a hesitant grin from over the back of the couch. "Whatcha need?"

"An explanation, perhaps?" The Bat was not amused.

"Uh…it was their fault!" Dick cried, pointing at Wally and Roy. "They put the girls up to that! I had nothing to do with it!"

"US?" Roy asked, indignant. "We didn't _do_ ANYTHING!"

"Well…" Wally hesitated, looking stricken. "We sorta did something…"

"Way to go, Kid Blab," Roy said, glaring at the younger. "Now we're gonna die!"

"I thought you weren't scared of Batman!" Wally said. "I'M the one with the irrational fear of Batman!"

"You didn't say anything and they're arguing," Dick said, almost amazed. "How did you do that?"

"Don't change the subject. I need you in Gotham, and you're not off the hook for this either," Batman said, glaring from under his cowl. "I'll be there in three minutes. Be ready on the beach."

Dick sighed as his mentor signed off. "Hey, guys?"

They didn't say anything, preferring to continue their argument. "You wouldn't be scared of Batman if he hadn't dropped from nowhere right in front of your path!" Roy needled, knowing that would rile the boy up further than he was.

"That is not why I'm scared of him!" Wally said, starting to shout now. "Besides, who nearly wet himself when Batman picked him up to get somewhere faster?"

"…That was you!" Roy protested. "_I_ happened to have my own arrows that acted like a grapple hook!"

"Oh yeah," Wally said, having the decency to blush.

"Guys!"

"What?" they asked, stopping their argument.

"I'm gonna be gone for a while, maybe a couple days, with Batman in Gotham. _Please_ try not to kill each other?" Dick requested.

Roy gave an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. But if I feel a little homicidal while you're gone…"

"Go ahead," Dick said.

"Hey!"

"Oops, gotta go!" Dick said, grinning as he ran off to meet the Batjet on the beach.

"Wha-hey. Robin?" Wally began to get worried for a moment when he caught the look in Roy's eyes. "Don't leave me here with _him_! He's gonna kill me!"

* * *

**And that's it for now, folks! I apologize to everyone I told I was gonna update last night-I ended up babysitting until 11:30 last night and we went car shopping this morning (found a really nice Chevy Cobalt, too), but I have two updates for tonight, and the next one should be up within a couple hours. Ciao!**


	9. The Great Cinnamon Challenge

**This one's a response to the YJCF thread Scent Challenge-with a twist. You get a scent and you can choose a character and a twist. Poster of the challenge was **_**ChuChuMarshmallow**_**.**

**Uh, I think it was **_**kat414**_**, an anon again, who wanted some hurt/comfort between them, and I got the prompt and their review, and I figured, well, what the heck, let's try it this way. I hope I got enough hurt/comfort mixed in!**

**My prompt was Cinnamon, character Dick Grayson/Robin, and twist-the emergency room. That's twice now that there's been an emergency room involved. With Dick. Either I'm REALLY enamored with emergency rooms, or I'm trying to tell myself something. Or Dick. Either way.**

**The answer of last chapter's first question: Who said 'Oh, what's in a name?', what book/movie/etc. is it from, and who wrote/directed the book/movie/etc. In order:**

**Juliet (Capulet)**

_**Romeo and Juliet**_** (a play)**

**William Shakespeare**

**The second question: Which D-name of a certain Batkid did I use? Damian. From Damian Wayne, the fourth Robin, and the biological son to Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul. I'm not a TOTAL noob! **_***didn't know about Tim, Jason, or Damian until someone mentioned in the forums that they weren't sure if it was Dick or Tim in the series***_

**More fun! Which **_**House**_** character did I throw in for a little fun?**

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* * *

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The Great Cinnamon Challenge

* * *

"Dude!" Wally said as he raced over to the table. Roy hadn't heard the door open, which meant that the teen had vibrated through the wall and now had a nosebleed. "Guess what?"

"You're here and you have a nosebleed?" Roy guessed, standing from his chair. He and Dick were playing chess in Roy's apartment. He tossed a towel to the speedster. "Stop bleeding on my floor, it's reserved for _my_ blood. And you shouldn't scare my neighbors, I've had the police called twice this month already."

"What a way to look at it," Dick laughed, moving his queen two spaces diagonally. "Don't bleed on the floor and don't scare the neighbors. Are you gonna post them on the wall or something?"

"You know, I just might with all you guys coming around," Roy said thoughtfully, moving his remaining rook forward a space to block Dick's queen from taking his king. "Might stop one squirt from coming in through the windows and the other through the walls."

"Hey!" Dick and Wally protested together. "Don't call me squirt!"

"Then grow," Roy chuckled, stopping when Dick moved a pawn to the end of the board and requested a rook. "How?"

"I moved a pawn," Dick snorted, watching Roy move his bishop to take out a knight. He moved the rook he just got back towards him three spaces. "Check."

Wally pouted since he wasn't the center of attention anymore, and tipped both Roy and Dick's kings over and scattering the rest of the plastic pieces around. "OK, can we listen to me now?"

"Not while you sound like you shoved peas up your nose. Again," Dick said, packing the set away.

"Whatever!" Wally said, throwing the towel at the Boy Wonder, who threw it back. "Besides, I have the best idea ever!"

"What?"

"Cinnamon challenge!"

"_What_?" Roy and Dick asked at the same time, watching the speedster as he grabbed two spoons and a fairly tall container of spice.

"You get a spoonful of ground cinnamon and you have to swallow it without the help of water, and if you use water, you fail," Wally explained, handing the reluctant Dick and Roy the spoons.

"This can't possibly be a good idea," Roy said doubtfully. "I mean, I've heard of it, and it's said to be impossible."

"Dude, it's totally possible!" Wally said. "Haven't you ever seen the videos for it?"

"…No."

"Can't say that I have."

Wally's eyes practically bugged out of his head. "How could you NOT have seen it?" he asked. "It's been on AFV, all over Youtube, I think it's even been on World's Dumbest…"

"You _are_ speaking to the two guys who are more likely to be out fighting crime, doing homework, or going to work rather than watching Youtube or TV, you know that, right?" Roy asked, leveling a sideways look at Wally.

Wally's face lit up in a grin. They wouldn't know what the most likely scenario would be, and this would be a perfect opportunity to videotape it. "Wait just one second," Wally said, speeding off. He was back before the door had even hit the wall, holding a video camera. "OK, get your spoons ready!"

Wally clicked the camera on as Roy wrestled with the cap of the container. "Dude, it won't come off, what'd you do, glue it on?" Roy asked, then spotted the red light on the camera. "Wally, turn it off!"

"No way, this is gonna be epic!" Wally laughed, dodging out of Roy's reach. He turned the camera around to speak to it. "Hi, this is Wally, Robin, and Red Arrow. They're going to be attempting the cinnamon challenge for themselves, against my wishes, of course."

"Dude, what are you telling the camera?" Dick asked, looking over Wally's shoulder. "Are you lying to it?"

"No!" Wally protested half-heartedly.

"Don't believe him, he's the one who came up with this idea," Dick said, rolling his eyes. "Great, now I'm doing it!"

"Here you go," Roy said, handing a generous spoonful of cinnamon to Dick. "When we show him how to do this properly, we'll kick his ass."

"You'd have to catch me first," Wally said, turning the camera back onto the two others. "OK, ready? Wait, let me get a couple glasses of water out for when you FAIL."

"This cinnamon smells awesome," Roy said, albeit a little randomly.

"We're not gonna fail!" Dick snorted, watching as Wally backed up. "R, you make no sense sometimes. Cheers." He and Roy put the spoons in their mouth and began to swallow.

For about ten seconds, nothing happened, but Wally began to laugh at the look on Dick's face. "Dude, you look like you're gonna puke!"

Dick shook his head furiously, trying to work his mouth to get the cinnamon down. "This dries out your mouth," he said, or tried to. His mouth was still coated in cinnamon.

"Mmft," Roy agreed, but didn't actually say anything remotely legible. A small puff of cinnamon came out.

"My nose is burning, dude!" Dick said, grabbing one of the glasses that Wally had set out. "What the hell did you do to that cinnamon?"

"Nothing, I swear to God, it's just cinnamon!" Wally laughed, nearly rolling on the floor.

Roy, just barely in the camera's view now, stood up victoriously. "Got it!" he yelled, triumphant.

"Let's see," Wally said, bringing the camera in close to Roy's mouth. "Yes, he's got it folks!" Wally cheered, bringing the shot back out. "Let's see what's happening with Rob now."

"I think you got it," Roy said firmly, pulling the camera out of Wally's hands. He turned the record button off. "You better not be showing that to anyone."

"Just Friday at movie night in the mountain," Wally said innocently. "We'll even invite you to watch it, too." He took a double look at Dick. "D, you don't look so hot."

Roy set the camera down. "Uh, is he having an allergic reaction?"

Dick was practically hyperventilating over the sink. "Something," he groaned, rinsing his mouth again. "This is horrible stuff."

"Come here," Roy said, grabbing a bucket and shoving it in the Boy Wonder's arms. He pulled the younger out of the apartment, with Wally holding open doors and getting the elevator called. "Come on, squirt, you're going to the hospital. Again."

* * *

The small Ford Fiesta was parked in front of the emergency room, and Roy, Wally, and Dick were sitting in the waiting room. Dick finally stopped hyperventilating, but was beginning to develop red spots on his arms and face.

"Grayson?" a nurse called, about an hour after they'd walked in.

Roy and Wally followed, Roy more for administrative purposes and Wally simply because he was worried about his friend. Dick was still holding onto the bucket, but he'd never actually thrown up yet.

"What happened that you came to the emergency room _now_?" Dr. Hadley, Roy's regular doctor and the one they dealt most with whenever they were in this emergency room, asked. She sounded a little more than exasperated at seeing the three of them again.

"Cinnamon challenge, I think he's allergic," Roy said shortly.

"I see." Hadley did a quick exam, then looked up. "What were you doing, doing the cinnamon challenge?"

"He egged us on until we did it," Dick said, slightly hoarse, as he pointed at Wally. "I've never reacted to cinnamon before, though, and I thought it tasted funny."

"Uh, yeah, about that…" Wally said, scuffing the floor with a sneaker. "Uh, there might've been something else in the cinnamon, which is why it really _was_ glued shut…"

"What did you put in it?" Dick asked, glaring.

"…"

"I didn't hear that," Hadley said, looking at the fifteen-year-old."

"I mixed a little garlic in, OK?" Wally burst out. "I didn't think it was too big a deal, it'd just make it more interesting."

"I've eaten garlic before too, and never reacted," Dick said, shrugging. "So, am I fit to go?"

"It should disappear within a couple hours. If not, just come back in," Hadley sighed, waving the boys out the door. "Don't do it again!"

"Oh, he won't, will he, Roy?" Dick asked, grinning at the older.

"No he won't, squirt," Roy said, cracking his knuckles.

"Uh, guys?" Wally asked, noting the gleam in their eyes. "Uh, I have to use the bathroom. Excuse me, nurse? Could you direct me to the nearest men's room? Preferably one with a window?"

* * *

**Cinnamon and garlic are real allergies, I actually looked them up. I hope it's good, **_**ChuChuMarshmallow**_**! And everyone else, of course! Remember that I'm always open to questions, comments, concerns, ideas, or that ever-important CONCRIT!**


	10. Sick Day

**Uh huh, it's starting. I'm working the prompts people have suggested out of order now! I'm working on the one for **_**MyHero**_** (yours is a bit hard to come up with an idea for, but I'm pretty sure I've got something interesting now), but I started this, like, Thursday for **_**DickGraysonlover**_** with more of what **_**xbleedinglotusx**_** asked for. I'm sorry that I didn't update, like, at all this week. Seriously, you give me a week of pretty much uninterrupted writing (we had spring break) and I don't do anything! I've got a few half-finished challenges and one I haven't even started, as well as requests that I need to fill for you guys that asked for them…no use crying, I guess, today to work with no school (well, it's the weekend, so duh to me).**

**Now that you know more about my life than you probably cared about, this one's a sickfic, written for **_**DickGraysonlover**_** like I said earlier. I threw in more of the big brother Roy that **_**xbleedinglotusx**_** asked for as well.**

**

* * *

**

Sick Day

* * *

"Ah-choo!"

The sneeze wasn't quite unexpected, but Wally flinched anyway.

"Gesundheit."

Dick sniffled. "Thanks."

Wally didn't say anything else, simply handing the younger boy a Kleenex to blow his nose.

The resounding honk of the kid blowing his nose probably echoed so much that Roy heard it in Steel City. "Dude, could you blow your nose a _little_ louder?" Wally asked plaintively from his seat on an armchair. "I don't think you-know-who heard you in Gotham."

"Haha, very funny," Dick said, glaring balefully at Wally. "I'm fairly sure he didn't, and not just because of the distance-thing."

"It was just a joke," Wally muttered.

Dick sighed, the unspoken apology ringing through the room in that sigh. Wally simply huffed back.

"What's with all the breathing in here?" Roy asked, entirely too chipper for anything. He hopped over the back of the couch, landing on the free cushion beyond Dick's feet. "What's up with you?" he asked, becoming more serious as he saw the flushed face and slightly glassy eyes of the other occupant on the couch.

"I'm sick," Dick said, sneezing again.

"Bless you," Wally and Roy said, the former sounding almost bored.

"Thanks."

"Wait a sec…R, how'd you get in without triggering the computer?" Wally asked suspiciously.

"I came in the back door. I wanted to surprise you guys and see if you wanted to go do something fun this weekend, but apparently not," Roy said, gesturing to Dick as he said the last part.

"You guys can go, I don't care," Dick muttered, a small cough escaping him. "I'm just gonna lay here anyway."

"Taking up the couch?" Roy snorted. "Yeah, that'll go over PERFECTLY with the rest of your team."

"Artemis, Megan, and even Kaldur already offered to make him soup," Wally said, letting his head thump against the headrest of the chair dramatically. "I think Supey would've too if he hadn't locked himself in his room. He claimed he didn't want to get sick either, but I'm betting he just doesn't wanna get stuck actually having to make D soup."

"If I wanted someone to make me soup, I'd have called R," Dick claimed. "Besides, Artemis and Kaldur were gonna make it from a can, and Megan wanted to test out a new recipe that she found online. I didn't feel like playing guinea pig, and R's is proven to make anyone who's sick better almost instantly."

"Wait, when did I volunteer to help sick squirts?" Roy asked, bemused.

"You didn't, I appointed you," Dick said smugly, but the image was marred by a small dribble of snot coming from his nose.

"Blow your nose," Roy grumbled, standing. "I'm gonna make soup."

"I can't blow it, it's too stuffed up!" Dick whined.

"Take some Sudafed."

"I don't wanna."

Wally zipped out to the kitchen, where Roy was banging a few pots around, trying to find the right one. "I've been trying to get him to take medicine all day," the fifteen-year-old said. "He won't take anything."

"I have an idea," Roy said, handing Wally some money. "Got any paper?"

The speedster was back in barely a second with a paper and pen. Roy scribbled something down quietly, and, upon seeing what Roy wanted, Wally grinned, saluted, and raced off.

"What are you two doing?" Dick asked from his place on the couch, listening as the computer registered Wally going out.

"Nothing, I needed some stuff for the soup," Roy said, filling the pot he'd been searching for with water. As soon as it was boiling, the noodles were added. Taking the chicken that was obviously last night's fare, he made sure that it wasn't marinated or anything before cutting it into cubes. He grabbed a few vegetables, chopping them as the water heated. He began to add the ingredients, now diced into smaller pieces, into the soup.

"Smells good," Dick said, standing next to the counter wrapped in a blanket.

"I thought you couldn't smell anything?" Roy asked, facing the younger.

Dick shrugged. "Standing. Steam. It all combines that I now can smell from one side."

In the time it took for their conversation to happen, the computer was telling them that Wally was back.

"Man, they were so _slow_!" Wally said, setting the small bag on the counter and handing Roy his change. "I mean, really, it took them almost a minute to check me out, can you believe that?"

"Actually…" Dick began.

"No, no comment from you!" Wally shouted, covering his ears. "Shouldn't you be on the couch?"

"I don't need you hovering, either," Roy said. "Shoo, squirt, before I get in trouble from anyone because I let you stand up."

"It's a cold, not the plague," Dick muttered, going back to the couch as well. "They've been rather quiet, though."

Roy thought about that as he added the bullion to flavor the broth and quietly measured out a dose of Nyquil. They _had_ been rather quiet…

"Maybe we should see if they've died from colds or not," he joked.

"I'll volunteer for Megan!" Wally said, running off before anyone could counter him. He came back seconds later, looking a little shell-shocked. He watched Roy put the medicine in the bowl and, as soon as the noodles were fully cooked, add some soup.

"You're quiet, KF," Roy said, taking the bowl over to the teen on the couch as he stirred it. "Did she turn into a cat and get your tongue?"

"Ha, I wish," Wally said quietly. "It was worse."

"What could be worse than that?" Dick asked, spooning the concoction into his mouth. "I don't know how you do it, R, but this is easily the best you've made chicken noodle soup."

From behind Dick's head, Wally mouthed, _How does he not taste that?_ Roy shrugged, easily answering both boys.

"I'll take that as a compliment, then," he said, grinning. "Now, Wally, what did you walk in on Megan doing?"

* * *

Half an hour later, Dick was fighting sleep. "Dude, did you drug that or something?" he asked. "Your soup's never made me sleepy before…"

"Bed then," Roy said, evading the question entirely. He easily lifted the smaller body, and it was a credit to Dick's trust that he didn't fight or argue.

The teen was gently set on his bed, and was pretty much out without another word. Roy left the room after pulling the blanket over the slightly shivering thirteen-year-old.

"How the hell you do it, I don't know," Wally muttered as the two made their way back to the living room. "He _never_ argues when you're here and he's sick."

"Big brother rules," Roy simply said, smiling. He sneezed then.

"Damn it, not you too!" Wally groaned.

* * *

**I hope that's alright, **_**DickGraysonlover**_**! And I really hope that satisfied a little of the big brother Roy that you wanted, **_**xbleedinglotusx**_**!**

**Oh, if you don't know, **_**Gesundheit**_** is the German word for 'health,' but is said when someone sneezes. I grew up in a totally English-speaking house, with my grandparents, great-grandparents, and going back at least a few more generations from that even speaking English, but I knew gesundheit before bless you when someone sneezed. Go figure. I do live in WI, though, very Germanic and Polish…**

**Any mistakes would be greatly appreciated if you point them out. I do my best, but sometimes I don't catch them.**

**Anyone who's also submitted an idea or two, it's being worked on, I promise. Next chapter should be up today at some point. I've got a lot of catching up to do.**

**Auf Wiederhören! (that's **_**Goodbye for now**_**!)**


	11. Six Flags

**Here's the one requested by **_**Haley Tran**_**. S/He wanted to see our favorite trio go to Six Flags. Now, I've only been to the one in IL, so you're stuck with me taking them to Illinois. S/He also asked for me to include Audrey, an OC, and while I'll admit that I'm personally not a big fan of OC's as main characters, I did make sure to include Audrey. I didn't give her many lines and made her a little shy, as I'm not quite sure on the characterizations (are we able to pretend that she's never met Roy yet and is a little attracted to him?), but the idea itself was too tempting for me to ignore.**

**If you'd like a map to see where they're at, go to: http: /mappery. com/maps/ without the spaces.****

* * *

**

Six Flags

* * *

"I have a surprise for you guys!" Black Canary said, walking into the room with a grin. All seven teens were there. Wally and Dick were fighting over the video games, but turned their heads when Canary had walked in. Superboy and Kaldur were on the couch, and the three girls were on the floor in the corner talking about…something, Dinah wasn't quite sure what.

"What is it?" Kaldur asked, managing to sound excited but polite at the same time.

"Batman has authorized a free day, in which you will have no missions, obviously, and no training. Before you go making plans, though," she added, holding up a hand at their excitement, "Red Tornado and I have discussed it, and we feel that, since you're doing so well in training, we'd give you a gift of our own."

She handed Kaldur the envelope, as he _was_ the leader. He held up…tickets.

"What are these?" the Atlantean asked, somewhat hesitantly.

Dick and Wally's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Are those…" Wally trailed off, taking one of the tickets.

"They can't be…" Dick added, looking over the ticket.

"If you mean tickets to Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois, then yes, they are," Canary supplied, grinning.

"YES!" the two boys shouted, giving each other a high five. Artemis looked suitably impressed, a little excited even, and Audrey had a huge smile on her face. Megan, Superboy, and Kaldur still looked a little blank though.

"What is Six Flags?" Megan asked, taking one of the tickets to look at it.

Canary chose that moment to walk out, still smiling as she listened to Wally and Dick animatedly tell the three clueless teammates about Six Flags.

* * *

"We should be there in about two minutes," Megan said, looking at the screen and the small ETA in the corner. "We'll cloak and get out in the farthest corner of the parking lot."

Wally looked at Dick, and from the smirk on the younger's face, he could see that Wally was practically ready to vibrate out of his seat.

"D, aren't you excited?" Wally asked, now literally bouncing.

"Yeah, I just don't show it like _some_ hyper teens I could mention," Dick said, and Wally stuck his tongue out at him.

The bio-ship was set down gently in the lot, and the door had barely opened before Wally was unbuckled and out. He was tapping his foot about a hundred yards away.

"You guys are slow!" he complained, racing back. "Can't you go just a _little_ faster?"

"That would entirely defeat the purpose," Audrey snorted.

Kaldur joined in. "I don't know, Wally, I don't know if they'll let you in with that much excitement."

"Yeah, well, let me run around the world about five times, and I might have a little less," Wally muttered, slowing down to walk between Dick and Megan. "Hey, beautiful, I'll take you on some good rides today, if you wanna."

"I'd love to," Dick said, rolling his eyes.

Wally glared at him as Megan giggled. "I would, but I promised Kaldur, Artemis, and Superboy that I'd go with them. Maybe later?"

"Sure," Wally said, slightly dejected. That changed as soon as he saw who was standing near the gate. "R!" The fifteen-year-old practically flew to Roy.

"You're here?" Dick called, his face lighting up as he followed Wally. "You came?"

"Well, sure, squirt. Even heroes need a break," Roy said with a small wink, nearly getting bowled over by two happy teens. "Hey, down kids!"

"Well, when we haven't seen you in forever, you KNOW we're bound to be excited!" Wally said, to Dick's amusement.

"Don't listen to him, he's been excited since we got the tickets," Dick said, considerably happier than he had even been before.

The group straggled to the gate, and Roy got into the line next to them. They were close to the teller when Kaldur got out the folder of tickets.

"I don't know, Wally, you think they're in there?" Artemis asked.

Wally's eyes got huge, and he looked at the folder.

Kaldur opened it, then frowned. "I seem to have misplaced them."

_THUD_

Everyone looked at Wally, who had fallen over. "Um, maybe we went too far?" Megan asked.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Wally yelled, jumping up, and Dick laughed.

"Good one," he said.

* * *

Finally in the gate and by Carousel Plaza, the group began to split.

"We will meet here at 7:00 this evening, correct?" Kaldur asked, looking at Wally and Dick in particular.

"Yes, Mom," Wally said, rolling his eyes. "That's more than plenty of time to get into trouble."

"And that's why I'm here," Roy said, watching Megan, Kaldur, Superboy, and Artemis leave. "Are you two ready?"

"I was born ready!" Wally said, stretching in mock preparation. "Where to first?"

Dick grabbed the map from his small pack, and he and Wally began to argue about where they wanted to go. Roy just looked at Audrey, who was still standing there and looked a little lost.

"They're childish, but they're my best friends," he confided, and she jumped a little.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I didn't know quite where to go," Audrey said, somewhat shyly.

Roy grinned. "Red Arrow, call me Roy," he said. "I won't try pulling the moody-Roy with you," he added, sticking a hand out.

"Audrey," she said, deciding to stick with her first name only as Roy did.

"We've decided," Dick and Wally announced.

"We're going to the Southwest Territory, right?" Roy asked, smirking.

"No way, how'd you know?" Wally asked.

"I'm a mind reader," Roy said loftily, leading the way down the path through Hometown Square. "And amazing like that."

"Not likely," Dick said, snorting.

"I concur," Wally joined in. "And I'm not talking about the mind reader part. Do you concur, D?"

"I concur," Dick agreed, smiling.

"You two are no fun," Roy said, pretending to pout. "Now I'm gonna ditch you and go have some fun. Wanna come, Audrey?"

"What do you mean when you called him 'D?'" Audrey asked, ignoring Roy as the other two seemed to be doing.

"It's the shortened form of his name," Wally supplied. "We call Roy 'R' for the same reason. It tends to cut down on people asking weird questions about why we call him Robin when he's a guy."

"Robin can be a guy OR girl's name, but here in the US, it's more likely to be a girl's than a guy's name, and I kept getting a lot of questions when we were out in public," Dick admitted. "Oh, look, we're here!"

Roy turned and looked. "Raging Bull?" he asked. "Roller coasters already?"

"Duh," Wally said, he and Dick already getting in line. "We're at a theme park, what else would we do?"

"There's a paintball place."

"OOH! We're gonna do that too then!" Wally said.

* * *

The day was full of rides, from Raging Bull to Demon, Viper, Iron Wolf, American Eagle, and Vertical Velocity. It was about 3 in the afternoon, in Yankee Harbor, that Roy spotted it.

"No. Way," Roy said, looking at the bright yellow coaster. "D, look at this."

"Hmm?" the boy asked, chewing on some fries that Wally insisted they get. His mouth dropped open at the sight of it.

"Is that what I think it is?" Audrey asked.

"What?" Wally asked, mouth stuffed with fries. "What is it-oh."

"Batman the Ride," Roy said.

"We're so going on it!" Dick decided. "Wally, either throw away or finish the fries, we're going on that coaster."

* * *

It was about an hour and a half wait, but Dick was bound and determined to go on the ride.

Finally, they were on the platform and being strapped into the seats. They'd gotten into the first row, and their feet dangled down toward the track.

"I'm not so sure about this," Roy muttered. "Haven't we gone on enough roller coasters today?"

"Never!" Wally, Dick, and Audrey claimed, and Roy hung his head. He was doomed.

The ride started innocently enough, going up over 100 feet to the top. They dropped slightly, and Roy's eyes widened. They dropped.

It wasn't a steep drop, more like a gentle twisting, but it was still fast, and he heard Audrey screaming to his right and Dick and Wally laughing to his left. There were twists, and loops, and all sorts of stuff that made you sick to your stomach.

And it did. After the ride, Roy was the first to stumble toward the bathrooms, the other three following unsteadily.

"I vote we go on something a little slower for a while," he mumbled.

* * *

It was just after seven, and Kaldur looked at his watch impatiently. "Should we maybe call them?" he asked.

"No, there they are!" Megan said, pointing.

The missing three, plus Roy, were slowly walking to where the other four had settled for the wait. As they drew closer, they heard an argument forming.

"I swear, you two are way too immature! OBVIOUSLY, American Eagle was the best!"

"Dude, you've got your coasters mixed up. Iron Wolf easily takes the cake!"

"Viper!"

"Batman!"

Megan looked around quickly. "Um, Audrey, Batman is not here."

"No, there's a coaster called Batman the Ride," Audrey corrected.

"Ah, I see."

Dick caught on to the unspoken thought. "Didn't you guys go on any roller coasters?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Artemis said, looking at him like he was crazy. "Why else would you go to a theme park?"

"Which one was your favorite?" Four eager looks were cast in her direction. "We've narrowed it down to American Eagle, Iron Wolf, Viper, and Batman the Ride."

Artemis laughed. "Are you guys kidding? Superman Ultimate Flight is EASILY the best out of ALL of those!"

* * *

**I'm not kidding about the wait time on Batman the Ride. We were there a few years ago, and Superman and Batman were both new coasters, and they both had, like, a two-hour wait time. For those big/popular coasters, it's a really, really long wait.**

**And Batman's probably not the most extreme ride I could've chosen for them to throw up after, but knowing Wally, they probably ate between rides, and all that combines that you should NOT go on roller coasters after eating…**

**Anyone else been to Six Flags Great America and know any of the rides/places I mentioned in here?**


	12. Gone Wrong

**OK, so, I'm at the point where I have writer's block on some of the requests, and, even though I'm happy because I'm going to state forensics, I'm in an angsty mood. I'm trying my hand at an angsty piece.**

_**PLEASE READ:**_

**Warning: Angst (duh). At least, that's how I HOPE it came out as… Possible tissue-warning if you don't have a strong constitution.**

**Oh, and any run-on sentences is intentional. I think you'll understand why when you start reading more thoroughly.**

**

* * *

**

Gone Wrong

* * *

_I screwed up. Big time._

The thought continues to run through my mind as I sit sentry between the two beds. The kids-_heroes_, I remind myself, because that's what they are-are silent, still, something that the two of them never are.

It's unnatural.

* * *

"_Roy, come on!" is the shout from the next rooftop. I'm gamely following along, but Wally's got a good head start, and who knows where the protégé of Batman is right now. He's always disappearing on me, even though I'm supposed to keep him in line when Batman's not here to instinctively know where the kid is._

_

* * *

_

Batman and Flash have both been in the small infirmary too many times to count-not that I would because I'm not even sure how long I've been in here-and they both have their masks off; they know I know who they are. It'd be hard not to, since I know their apprentices' names. I can see the smothered worry and slight fear in both of their eyes, and I feel even guiltier knowing that I caused it. Because I wasn't careful.

* * *

_Arrow after arrow. I just keep firing at him, and Robin's off doing his technical know-how and Wally's distracting them, but they're both in front of my line of fire and I'm sure that I'll hit one of them instead of the bad guys. But Dick keeps doing his tech stuff and Wally keeps running, so I'm safe for now._

_

* * *

_

Even Ollie's looked at me differently, and he hasn't cared about what I thought since I quit being Speedy and became Red Arrow, and that irks me. Why bother when you didn't before?

I shouldn't rag on him too much-he was the first one on-scene.

* * *

_Blood, blood, oh God, blood everywhere…_

_I'm trying to staunch the flow on one while the other's just bleeding, and the metallic scent is intoxicating and repulsive at the same time, and I can't decide which one needs help more. I just keep switching what must be every couple seconds, trying to hold the blood in and make sure they're both still breathing._

_And since when was blood so red?_

_Suddenly, Ollie's there, and I don't know when he arrived or how he knew, but he's holding Wally's arm, his leg, anything that's bleeding and shouldn't be, and I'm trying to hold Dick's blood inside him, but my hands are slick and keep sliding from where I put them._

_

* * *

_

My hands are scrubbed clean and bandaged on the palms, but I keep picking under the chopped-off nails and rubbing them on my jeans, trying to get rid of the blood I can still feel on there. The whole mixed-blood thing probably wasn't the best thing to do looking back at it, but it's the best I could do, and Batman and Flash have told me more than once that I was doing the right thing, but I just don't know anymore.

The beeping in the background isn't all that comforting either. People in the movies always say that it is, that it calms them down that their loved ones are still alive, but it just reminds me that it's one more heartbeat that neither are awake for, one more heartbeat that I did nothing to help protect.

* * *

_Just as suddenly as Ollie miraculously being there, Batman and Flash are both there, and they're taking care of the grunts that hadn't gotten away. I don't remember doing anything to them, but they're all bloody and groaning on the floor, so something must've happened, but I can't focus on that while Dick's coughing, a weak, raspy noise that doesn't alleviate my fears that something's seriously wrong and it's my fault._

_Wally hasn't so much as twitched in the minute's it's had to have been since Ollie arrived, and before that even, and it scares me. My little brother-that's what they both are, I knew that before but it never hit me until now-neither of them are moving or waking up and I know that's not a good sign. Wally's chest is barely rising as it is, and I'm scared that it'll just stop one of these times and I'll never hear a joke from the redhead again._

_

* * *

_

The beeping to my left increases, and I'm on my feet and holding Dick's hand in the time it takes Batman to open the door from looking in from the one-way mirror. I just hold my breath, hoping against hope that Dick will wake up, but he doesn't and I just feel scared again.

* * *

_Someone's got my shoulders and is trying to get me up, but I can't._

"Don't you see?"_ I'm sure I screamed. _"I can't let go!"

_The arms are persistent, and I'm screaming and sure I'm crying as I'm lifted up and directed away from the blood, from my little brothers. I fight, kicking and screaming, louder and more than ever, and trying to tear myself away from the direction I'm being guided, and I swear that I can't see Dick's chest rising at all, and Wally's not too far behind it._

_

* * *

_

I'm sitting down again, and I know I'm rubbing my hands again, hard, but I can't help it and I'm sure that I don't want to. They're becoming raw again, and Ollie's there again, trying to get me to stop. He puts a little more vet wrap, red like my costume, on the parts that are peeling off because my hands were cut up from some glass, and I know I should thank him, but I don't know how anymore.

All I know is the breathing of the two boys on either side of me, and their heartbeats on the monitors, and how I know that I can no longer live without them.

* * *

**The rest is up to your imagination, dear readers.**

**If you're still reading, I have a happy ending that I wrote originally, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna post it or not…any thoughts? I also have a sad, angsty ending that I'm not sure if I'll post…**

**Thoughts, questions, comments, concerns, ideas, concrit, and emotional freak-outs are welcome!**


	13. SNLOD

**Ok, **_**Blood of the Dawn**_** was the first to ask me to post it. Well, I didn't know which one s/he wanted, so you get:**

***drum roll please***

**THE ANGSTY ENDING!**

**But wait, there's more!**

**Order now and receive the happy ending for no additional cost! That's right, folks, thanks to **_**Neeva Caffrey**_**, you're getting two for the price of one in this chapter! An angst ending AND a happy ending! But order now, or we'll charge you…I don't know, Mr. Mayes, what WILL we charge them?**

**OK, so there's a few warnings in this chapter as well. I had quite a few people ask me if they were going to die, and I told them they'd want to skip part of this chapter. Yes, this DOES contain character death…I told you that I had a sad, angsty ending and a happy one! Don't worry, the happy one IS happy, I wrote it out myself! Wait. Does that actually reassure anybody?**

**To be honest, I wrote the first ending last night (or at least I started it), but I left it up and it got closed out on me, so all I could remember of it was the breathing thing.**

**So, yeah. Angst ending is FIRST.**

**

* * *

**

SNLOD - Situation Normal: Life or Death

* * *

They kicked me out of the mountain altogether.

It was three days after I screwed up and nearly got my brothers killed-_they could still die_, a snide little voice tells me, but I ignore it right now-and they told me to get some sleep, so I set up a cot in the observation room to listen to the not-comforting heartbeats and make sure that they're still alive. They kicked me out of there too, which is why I'm staring past my reflection in the car window into the dreary night and listening to Ollie mess with the radio to find a station he think's I'll like.

The only thing I want to listen to is the sound of their heartbeats overlapping and their breathing, one on either side of me, with me protecting them. Because I didn't before.

I don't even realize that my head's between my knees until a couple minutes later, and I'm staring down, half at the edge of the car and half at the gravel of the road, and I'm wondering when Ollie pulled over and when breathing became so hard.

I'm taking deep, gulping breaths, but it doesn't help, and Ollie just keeps telling me to breath, that it'll be OK, but it won't be OK until my brothers wake up, and as messed up as I am right now and as badly as I screwed up, that's the only thought that keeps running through my mind. I need to tell Ollie, but there's a hand on my back when I try to sit up, and I don't have the energy to fight it anymore.

My hair's wet, and I'm sitting back up in the seat watching out the window at the dreary night that Ollie's driving through to get back to Star City, and I can't help but think about worse-case scenarios.

* * *

It's really early when we stop at a hotel, and Ollie just tells me to stay in the car while he walks in. He even locks the doors, but I think it's silly because I'm in the car and could unlock them if I wanted to, but I don't. I don't know why, but Ollie's back again and helping me out of the car and into the doors. I don't know what he told them, but they look at me with something on their faces. I don't try to dissect what they're thinking this time, and Ollie's pushing me onto a bed not a minute later. When did that happen?

I vaguely hear him tell me to stay there, but I'm staring at the flower-print walls and he sighs and leaves the room. He comes back with a couple of duffels, but I have no idea how or when he got them. There's clothes in my hands, but I'm not sure what to do with them, but obviously my subconscious has something in mind because I come out of the bathroom with them on.

* * *

I don't know when I fall asleep-hell, I don't know a lot of things right now-but there's sunlight streaming in the window and Ollie's shaking me awake because otherwise we won't get to breakfast, but I'm not really hungry.

Then I'm dressed and sitting at a table what can't be more than a few seconds later, but must've been several minutes because I'm dressed with shoes and socks on and new bandages on my hands and black vet wrap-when did he get so many colors?-with waffles and fruit sitting in front of me. Ollie's telling me to eat, and that he'll be back in a couple minutes, and I pick up my fork and eat, but it's all bland and I only eat a few bites before pushing the rest away.

Ollie just looks at me and sighs. I get the feeling he's done that a lot.

* * *

It's been a couple days since we got to Star City and Ollie's mansion, and right now, I stare at the TV snow because the news went out a while ago with the storm. It's rained a lot, I think, and Ollie's been on the phone all day, in and out of the Arrow-cave, and I sit on the couch wrapped in a blanket wondering why.

It's almost the end of the day when Ollie comes and sits on the couch. He's staring at anything except me, and I'm wondering what I did this time. I don't say anything, though, and neither does he for a while.

Finally he looks up, and I know instantly that the worst has happened because his eyes are dull and almost ready to let tears loose, and I start to cry even before he opens his mouth. I don't know why I've been so emotional since that mission, but I have, and no one's said anything about it yet.

He doesn't say anything, but puts his arms around my shoulders and pulls me closer to him.

* * *

_**YJYJ**_ HAPPY ENDING _**YJYJ**_

_**

* * *

**_

I'm still sitting there that next morning because I'm too stiff to move, too lethargic to leave the room.

Too scared that they'll be gone if I leave.

But at least, it's not just me because I know Batman and Flash, maybe even Ollie, are in the observation room waiting, just like me, for them to wake up.

And as long as they do, I'll be fine.

If they don't, I don't know what I'll do.

Then it hits me.

What if my brothers die?

I sit there, numb, as a new fear courses through me, and I try to think of a world without my little brothers. Without a Richard Grayson or a Wallace West.

It's unimaginable. More than that, it's unbearable.

And I know that that fear I have is not the only one.

The heartbeat to my left speeds up again, and there's a thump before Batman comes through the door, and I know he must've been doing something as Bruce because he's in a nice suit and tie.

Dick's eyelids are flickering, and my breath is hitching. The emotions of my inner turmoil are leeching through to my cracked mask, and Batman's-no, _Bruce's_-eyes search mine out, but I avert them to Dick's.

Wait, what?

I let out a breath I'd held too long, since the accident, I realize with a jolt, as I see my best-friend-slash-brother's baby blue eyes, and he gives me a weak grin. I hesitantly return it, my breath hitching again.

I squeeze the hand I suddenly realize I am holding, and I listen to his steady heartbeat before realizing that Wally's has sped up too, but I think Flash's blur might have tipped me off too.

I don't want to let Dick go, but Wally's faint groans draw me over to his bed. The green eyes are dull, but open.

There's another hand in mine again, and I let my eyes follow it over a white bandage and up to a shoulder. I make sure it's firmly attached to Wally before I squeeze gently.

He grins briefly before squeezing back. His eyes slide closed again, and I look back to see Dick's have done the same. But this time, I know it's OK.

I know they'll be all right. And that's good enough for me.

* * *

**Aww. Yes, the second one is much shorter because it was originally the ending to the first chapter, and the first one is long because…I really don't know why.**

**I hope I didn't freak you guys out too much with OOC-ness, the angst, whatever. I'll be sure to post happy stuff for a while before I get all angsty again.**

**Thoughts, comments, questions, concerns, etc. always welcome, and concrit is ever appreciated!**


	14. Teach Me How To Bucky

**PLEASE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE FIRST!**

**Due to a very popular demand, I will be ending this story right after this chapter. Sorry to everyone who submitted an idea, I would've loved to have gotten to it, but I just didn't get that far. You'll probably see me around, with more oneshots and friends-related stuff, but like I said, I'm quitting this story.**

**With that, here's one last huzzah before I say goodbye forever to this story! And, since I'm ending it, I had to do SOMETHING with Wisconsin!**

**Warning, this may be a little crackish.**

* * *

Teach Me How To Bucky

* * *

"I don't really know about this Wisconsin thing," Roy said warily, glancing around the campus of the university at Madison with apprehension evident on his face. There were band members that were in the quad practicing, several clumps of students scattered about talking, and even a mini soccer game going on in the corner.

"What?" Wally asked, looking at someone that had just come up to him. Roy looked over, and Dick jogged back from where he'd been looking at a sign further down the path.

"Can you teach me how to Bucky?" the student asked, looking for all the world that it was a serious question. "'Cause everything they do at my school looking ugly."

"Uh…" Wally said, lost for words. "R? Little help?"

"This girl from Minnesota said she do the gopher, so I told her, 'Sit down like you supposed to,'" someone else chipped in from across the lawn.

"Big ten Badger, banging up the beats! Your silly little school ain't crazy enough for me!" the guy called back, and the band students were getting into it now, beating away at their drums in time to the singing.

"My mad-town swagger make 'em take a peek!"

"Your girl left you, now she hanging out with me!"

The quad let out a loud 'ooh' at that, and the second guy came up closer. "We a different kind of breed, always doing what you wish you did!"

"What's going on?" Dick asked, and Roy could only shake his head.

"I told you I didn't know about this," he said, but it was too late to back out now.

Everybody started cheering as the instruments beat.

"Yeah, I bet you wish you did!"

The first guy cracked his knuckles, and said, "Ohio State, Illinois, better get a pen. You too, IU and Michigan. Matter fact, I think we got the whole country feeling unlucky, wishing they could Bucky…"

"Teach me how to Bucky, teach me, teach me how to Bucky!" a girl sang, and Roy's eyes widened as a man in a badger costume ran past, evidently doing some sort of dance that others started copying. The only ones not dancing were Wally, Roy, Dick, and the three singers. "Teach me how to Bucky, teach me, teach me how to Bucky!"

The badger guy yelled, "A-a-all my badgers love me! A-all my badgers love me! All my badgers love me! You ain't messing with my Bucky!"

"Teach me how to Bucky, teach me, teach me how to Bucky! Teach me how to Bucky, teach me, teach me how to Bucky!"

"A-a-all my badgers love me! A-all my badgers love me! All my badgers love me! You ain't messing with my Bucky!"

"They be like beef!" The first guy noticed Wally's raised hand. "What?"

"Can you teach me how to dougie?" Wally asked, looking for all the world a little lost, and Roy could relate. Why was everybody singing?

"Uh, nah, but I can teach you how to Bucky!" The guy grinned. "All this sway…kinda yucky. So Imma shake it off. If you know me, you lucky!"

"But I don't know him," Wally said, bewildered.

"E'rybody love me," the badger-suited student called out. "I do my little dance, and once I clap my hands, I got 'em all in a trance!"

"Yeah!" the other students called out. "We the best in the land!"

"All them hater outta-staters never really stood a chance!" the second guy yelled.

"MSU, and you and you and you!" the others answered, and the girl pointed to Wally, Dick, and Roy in turn. "Iowa, Ohio State, Michigan, Purdue!"

"They ask me if I Bucky, and I say, 'Well, yes I do.' But I show 'em how we move, and they only got confused." the badger sang.

"We cool, too cool for the ice cap. Ain't found us yet, go find the right map!"

"Ayy," the mass of students, because that's really what it was now, called back. "Fight back if you wanna be embarrassed!"

"We just gonna party, and enjoy the unfairness."

The girl was back up. "Teach me how to Bucky, teach me, teach me how to Bucky! Teach me how to Bucky, teach me, teach me how to Bucky!"

"A-a-all my badgers love me! A-all my badgers love me! All my badgers love me! You ain't messing with my Bucky!"

"Teach me how to Bucky, teach me, teach me how to Bucky! Teach me how to Bucky, teach me, teach me how to Bucky!"

"A-a-all my badgers love me! A-all my badgers love me! All my badgers love me! You ain't messing with my Bucky!"

The band members finished out the song, and what seemed like the entire campus looked at Roy, Wally, and Dick inquisitively.

"Well, how was it?" the first guy who'd started singing demanded. "What do you think?"

"What do you mean?" Dick asked, "what do we think?"

"About the performance!" he replied impatiently. "We're going to perform at Homecoming, we need to know!"

Roy's mouth gaped like a fish, and he caught Wally's snickers. "What did you know about this?" he demanded of the younger redhead.

"Nothing, I swear!" Wally cried, eyes wide.

"I think you knew _something_," Dick said, blue eyes narrowed at Wally.

"I didn't know anything!" Wally yelled, then said to the student body, "You guys did awesomely, though!"

"You knew something," Roy said, staring straight at Wally.

He visibly gulped, and Bucky the Badger intervened. "Hey, we needed to practice, it was just him that got you here at the time."

"I'm. Gonna. Kill. You," Dick said slowly and evenly, before racing at Wally.

Roy simply hung his head. "I might come here if only to get away from those two!" he said, wearily watching the two boys run around the quad.

"This is not what I had in mind!" Wally yelled.

"Then stop and take it like a man!" Dick yelled back.

"Scratch that-I might want to try another _continent_," Roy groaned.

* * *

**Personally? Probably **_**not**_** one of my best. Oh well. It was (semi) funny, right?**

**Anyway, like I said, this is the last chapter of this story, so I will see you hopefully around some of my other fics, right?**

**OH! One last thing…**

**APRIL FOOL'S! I am NOT abandoning this story, and there should be another chapter or two this weekend.**

**I'm really sorry about the long hiatus, though, I ended up with a very bad case of writer's block and got over it a few days ago.**

**Concrit greatly appreciated as always, and feedback is always great!**


	15. Somebody Told Me

**Yeah. **Bluejayz35** asked for this one. Hope you like! It was supposed to be simple, but I kinda blew it out of proportion when I started writing. **Bluejayz35** asked for Roy going on a date and getting spied on.**

**OK, I have a pretty epic announcement to make, but first a question: How many of you also write your own fanfiction for YJ? Yeah, pretty sure most of you raised your hands. Well, starting April 8, you can go to http:/ yjawards. wetpaint. com and submit your fics to be in the First Annual YJ Awards Ceremony! Submissions end May 27 and the top three in each category (and there's a LOT of categories, guys!) will be announced on June 10 to commemorate the approximate return of YJ! All you have to do is make an account with the site (and it's free) so we can contact you if you win! I really hope to see you guys there! It's gonna be EPIC! It's a great way to read some new fanfiction and meet a LOT of great people!**

**And I'm so sorry that I'm such a huge procrastinator-I was going to have this out last weekend, but didn't get around to finishing it. So, sorry and I hope you like this chapter! And, obviously, I'm not quitting this story yet!**

**Oh, and one last thing-I'm sorry I didn't get it up this past weekend either! I was planning for a nice, Sunday-evening update, then…well, you might've heard about really bad thunderstorms in WI? Tornadoes. Not fun. 10, minimum, last I heard, and at least 16 funnel clouds. *sighs***

**Sorry for really long author's note, you guys probably don't care about that, so on with the story!**

* * *

Somebody Told Me

* * *

"Well, somebody told me, you had a boyfriend, who looked like a girlfriend, that I had in February of last year! It's not confidential, I've got potential!"

"WALLY!" Dick shouted from his prone position on Roy's bed, pillow wrapped as tightly against his ears as possible. "I've endured your singing for _three hours_! Could you PLEASE stop?"

"Ready, let's roll onto something new!" Wally finished, spectacularly out-of-tune, and flopped onto the bed next to him. "Really, dude, catch up with the songs, that's totally in right now!"

"Not when you're singing it an octave higher than it should be!"

"Dude," Wally said, moving his hands to his crotch protectively. "Did you really have to bring that up? It's still sore!"

Dick smirked at the older boy's distress. "What, can't you take a hint? I think Artemis was quite clear _before_ she hit you."

"More like I can't take a hit-wait!" Wally said accusingly as Dick dissolved into laughs. "That is not what I meant! You tricked me into that!"

"He didn't exactly _have_ to," Roy said, coming out of the closet. "OK, which-"

He was cut off as the hilarity of the situation struck both boys, Dick, who had just stopped laughing, and Wally, who had apparently gotten over his 'injustice.' They both fell over on the bed howling in laughter.

"Yuck it up, squirts," Roy said, rolling his eyes. "This is what I get when I ask you two for advice. I should've asked that Martian-Megan, right?"

"Dude, you just…you just totally…came out of the…closet…on your way to a date! With a…girl!" Wally choked out, still overcome with laughter.

"Oh the irony!" Dick chipped in, tears nearly coming from his eyes.

Wally stood, chest heaving in laughter, and he rested his hands on Roy's, admittedly much taller, shoulders, and patted his back.

"Man…it's great that…you're coming out of the closet and all…but not when you're going on a date with a girl!" Wally said, laughing between words, and he nearly bent double with the effort of trying to force out his laughs now.

Roy wasn't amused. "OK, guys, I guess I'll just go ask Megan. I might get a straight answer out of her."

Dick, finally having to stop laughing in order to breathe, looked up at Roy when he said that comment. "OK, OK," he said, taking gulping breaths. "I'm good. What do you have in mind for this _date_ of yours?" The boy's blue eyes widened to impossible proportions. "_DUDE!_ She's not brainwashed, is she?"

Roy blinked once, twice, then stared off just over Dick's head. "I don't wanna know," he said firmly, and perhaps a little scared. "But I'll ask anyway. What the hell makes you say that?"

"Well, _you_ asked _her_ out, right?" Wally asked, finally sitting up from the bed.

"Yes…" Roy answered slowly. "Wait, I don't think-"

"SHE MUST BE BRAINWASHED!" the destructive duo chorused.

"She wouldn't have said 'Yes' otherwise," Dick theorized, pacing around the room.

"Why didn't we think of this sooner?" Wally asked, joining his friend on the march.

"Screw it," Roy said exasperatedly, dragging his shirt off over his head. "I'm just gonna pick something and get it over with."

"Hey, I wanted to help pick out the shirt!" Wally yelped, breaking stride to zip over to the older teen. "Sit down, I'll go grab the shirt you should wear."

"HEY!" Dick yelled. "You're gonna choose something horrible-_I'll_ pick it out!"

Roy shook his head, but jumped and glared at the closet a few seconds later. "DON'T RIP MY SHIRTS!" he yelled at the door, the silence speaking volumes in its own right. Roy rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom for a shower.

* * *

"OK, this one's gonna go great with your eyes-"

"Blue ALWAYS picks the ladies up-"

"Red's not really your color, clashes with your hair-"

"Plaid's tacky, but old school, how old is she-"

"When did I walk into a beauty salon?" Roy practically squeaked, wrapped in a towel. "You two can't wait until I'm at least _decent_ before you start holding up shirts?"

Twin eyes of deceptive innocence looked at him, blue and green eyes full of concealed mischief. "Nope!"

"Besides, this will help decide what pants you're gonna wear-"

"-and you can't wear boxers OR briefs without knowing what will or won't show through!"

"AHH!"

"I think we scared him," Dick said, looking at the drips of water that was left when Roy fled back to the bathroom.

"No, ya think?" Wally said sarcastically.

* * *

"Roy, come out!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU TWO LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"But your life would be so much more _boring_ without us!"

"MY LIFE WOULD BE A LOT _SANER_!"

Wally looked at his watch. "You're going to be late!" he called through the door.

"I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact that you know what time my date is or that you two seem to be channeling some sort of stylists. Hand me whatever you guys decided on."

A hand was stuck out the door, and the two boys gallantly handed him a small bundle. It took a couple minutes, but Roy stepped out of the bathroom.

"When I get back, you two better be out of your funk," Roy warned, shucking on a pair of shoes from the corner of the room. He stopped just before he reached the door of his room in the apartment. "Actually, you two better be _gone_ when I get back, or I won't be a happy camper," he said, leaving the bedroom door open. The boys heard the outer door shut a moment later.

Wally thought for a minute. "Y'know," he said slowly. "I don't remember the last time I saw Roy go on a date."

"I haven't seen him go on a date period," Dick snorted, then looked out the door into what counted as the living room thoughtfully. "Maybe we should make sure he doesn't goof up on it."

"That's exactly what I was thinking!" Wally said, jumping up. "Race you!"

Dick rolled his eyes at the red-headed blur, but followed anyway.

* * *

Roy frowned as he watched his date, Andrea, frown at the restaurant. "Is something wrong?" he asked, sipping at his water.

"I'm just thinking," she said. "Why a nice restaurant if they're only going to put minimal effort into it?"

Roy smirked. "Do you always grade your restaurants like this?"

She winked back at him, a small smile on her face. "Not _only_ restaurants."

When she looked away, Roy snuck a peek at what he was wearing. A blue shirt (Wally's influence, obviously) and a pair of jeans that were fairly nice compared to many of his other pairs. And his shoes…

Oops.

Roy nearly smacked himself. He'd been a little _too_ preoccupied by Dick, Wally, and the date with Andrea, and instead of his tennis shoes, which had been set out next to his bed, he'd pulled on Red Arrow's combat boots. Hopefully she wouldn't notice.

* * *

Dick watched surreptitiously from his vantage point in a nearby plant. "It seems to be going well," he said to Wally, or thought he did. He looked around to find Wally sitting at the table next to him, busy working his way through the bread basket.

"Hmm?" Wally asked, mouth full. Bits of bread spit out at Dick.

"Dude," the boy said, waving a hand to ward off the flying food. "Just…forget it."

He turned back to see Roy's date wink and smile at him. He smiled back, but when she faced the other direction again, Roy looked down at his clothes, and Dick saw his eyes widen.

"Um, did you notice which shoes Roy put on?" he asked Wally without looking away.

"I think he pulled on his combat boots, why?" Wally's words obviously registered with his brain, because he slid from his seat and looked over Dick's shoulder. "Um, oops."

"Yeah, oops."

"May I take your…orders?" a waitress asked, and Wally and Dick turned to see her looking down at them strangely. "Spying on a friend?" she asked.

"How'd you know?"

"Oh, Hun, you wouldn't _believe_ how many kids do that to their parents," she laughed. "But, if I'm looking at the right table, your dad looks really young."

"He's not our dad," Wally said. "He's…like our older brother."

"Only cooler," Dick added.

She shook her head. "What can I get you?"

* * *

Roy breathed a quiet sigh. It was nearly silent in the park, save for the occasional duck on the small pond or the stray jogger that ran through, and he was almost ready to call the whole thing quits. Dinner went well, until a small disturbance near the end. Of _course_ Crosshatch, a more minor villain from Steel City, would have to break into the restaurant. The police had him in custody in a matter of minutes, however, and the rest of dinner went off without a hitch.

But then, Wally and Dick decided that _they_ needed to get in on the action and…well, Roy didn't really want to think about that little incident of the evening.

"Roy, I'll be honest that I had my doubts, but this has been one of the…most interesting dates I've ever been on," Andrea said, stopping on the sidewalk right before her car. "We should definitely do this again sometime."

_Did she just…_ "Second date then?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'd be honored," she giggled, reaching up to peck the taller on the cheek. "I'll give you a call." She walked around and got in, starting her car, before her head popped out the window. "And by the way," she called, backing out of the stall, "the combat boots are very sexy."

* * *

**I had this entire thing planned out with our new friend Crosshatch and the destructive duo, as Roy has taken to referring to Dick and Wally as whenever I borrow him, but I decided that the idea was kinda corny and cheesy, so I let it be. Feel free to imagine the scenes though.**

**Updates are probably going to be more sporadic, though I **_**do**_** have another chapter almost completely written! I'll try to get it up on the weekend.**

**Please go join the YJ Awards, I promise it's gonna be a lot of fun and you'll get to meet a LOT of awesome and talented people!**


	16. Go Insane

**Pfft, I promised last chapter that I had this almost done…I lied. I had a much, much better idea, though! I think you'll like it…But I got it out on time!**

**This is a combined request for **MyHero**, who wanted Batman making Robin feel bad, and **MickieHime36**, who asked for them to meet for the first time. I'll admit, I used the first one only in an implied sense, but I think it's the thought that counts, right?**

**I really hope you two like this.**

* * *

Go Insane

* * *

Robin held the binoculars up to his mask, brow furrowing as he watched Batman actually use the door on the roof instead of crashing through the skylight. Less mess, but even more evidence that he was acting out of character.

_Bad detective, my butt_, Robin thought, fist clenching unconsciously. _I'll show him_.

Robin stood after waiting a little bit to make sure that the Bat wasn't coming back out right away. He lifted a hand to the air, grapple gun in his fist, and shot it at the taller building behind the one he was aiming for. It connected, and he felt a momentary jerk before swinging easily through the air.

He wasn't about to give himself away, so he landed on the roof just past the skylight and silently snuck in the door.

* * *

Speedy narrowed his eyes as Green Arrow used one of his acid-arrows and melted around the doorknob. His mentor grabbed the handle, preventing it from falling and making a huge clatter on the ground, and pulled the door open with the end of the arrow. He saw the tip poke back out on the outside of the hole and pull the door closed.

He frowned. Green Arrow was, normally, a fairly open book. What made him keep a secret from his own ward? And why did he melt the door open instead of using the security pad next to it?

He wasn't going to wait for answers. He followed the motions of his mentor, pulling the door open with an arrow and walked in just to see a flash of light spilling from a…telephone booth? What was a telephone booth doing in an abandoned warehouse?

Speedy blinked, but wasn't about to be down for long. He walked into the booth to find it like it might've looked when it wasn't sitting in a warehouse.

"Well," he muttered, looking at the numbers. "Wonder what *66 does?"

The booth hummed, and Speedy resisted the urge to jump out as the light from earlier surrounded him and he was whisked away.

* * *

Kid Flash was not having a good day. Not only had his uncle been acting strangely earlier, but he was still acting the same way, and he'd just speed off in the middle of a battle!

"You better be doing something good," the kid speedster said, scoring one last hit to disable the villain for the police and speeding off after his uncle. "Because I will not be a happy camper if you ran off just to get something to eat."

But as he neared the older speedster, it became apparent that he had a goal in mind, as he started to angle himself northward.

"Gotham City," KF whispered, slowing to keep a little distance between them. "What's in Gotham that he needs to run off in the middle of the battle?"

He blinked as Flash vibrated himself through the brick wall. "Well, I guess that answers that question," the eleven-year-old muttered, peering through the dingy window to try and see the man, but it was nearly impossible. KF took a step back and contemplated how he was going to get into the building.

* * *

Robin froze, left foot hovering over the next step. Something had creaked, and the nine-year-old felt his heart beat faster, heard it beat louder. Someone else was here. Batman was always more careful than to let a stair creak.

It took a couple minutes, but he eventually put his foot down on the stair and continued down.

* * *

The telephone booth that Speedy ended up in was even dirtier than the one in the Star City warehouse. But this one was actually outside, and the young hero wrinkled his nose at the acrid smells and harsh sounds of police sirens. Where was he?

The answer was soon to be told, for as Speedy looked up, he saw the Batsignal in the air and a blimp with the words 'GOTHAM CITY POLICE' printed in large letters across the side.

"Gotham City?" he muttered, looking around and catching a glimpse of one of Green Arrow's grapple arrows, several blocks over already. He ran through the confusing network of alleys and streets, passing several passed-out drunks and homeless people on the sides of every turn he took. He watched as Green Arrow ran across a rooftop and disappeared into what seemed to be a doorway.

"Well, ain't that something," he said, letting his own grapple arrow go on the roof he'd last seen his mentor on. "Looks like we're playing in the big leagues now."

* * *

Kid Flash was still outside the building when he felt something brush past his leg.

"Argh!" he cried, zipping across the street. A large rat looked back at him before scurrying back toward the sewer it probably came from.

KF let out a huff. "Just a rat," he muttered.

"Hey, Lightning Bolt!"

The boy speedster jumped again at the voice. He saw another red-head staring back at him. The guy couldn't have been more than seventeen, and he was dressed in ripped jeans, t-shirt, and open zip-up hoodie.

"What?" he asked warily.

"Dude, I'm not gonna hurt you," the guy snorted, shaking his head and nearly dislodging the glasses. "I just wanted to know if you were that kid from Central City, the Flash's sidekick. Flash Boy, right?"

"No!" KF nearly yelled. "Well, yes to all of that, except Flash Boy. It's _Kid. Flash_."

"Whatever," he snorted. "Got any weed on ya?"

KF ignored him.

"Fine, but then don't ask me next time you need help," the other red-head snorted, pushing himself to his feet and ambling off.

"Like I need some druggie's help," the preteen muttered, trying the door. Locked.

Of course.

* * *

Robin peered around the corner. He knew this place. It was the old _Gotham Post_ printing facility, from back when it had been one of the more minor tabloids. Dust covered the old machines, undisturbed in the decade that it had moved to its new facility. Robin had studied the old issues as per Batman's request-the man had wanted Robin to realize that he could find potentially useful things in a useless paper.

"What's Batman doing in here?" Robin asked the silent facility, tracing the footprints in the dust with his eyes. There didn't seem to be anything worthy of the Bat's time in here.

So why was he here?

* * *

Speedy wrenched open the door, the rusty hinges causing it to groan loudly. He pulled out a small lamplight that fit lightly on the edge of his cap and turned it on, pulling the door closed as he stepped onto the first few steps.

The small lamp illuminated just a generic stairwell, not special in any way. Speedy looked at the stairs. Metal and slightly rusty, but seemingly sturdy. He looked closer, noting that there was a layer of dust on them, and seeing that said dust had been disturbed.

Speedy could just make out three sets of prints, one obviously belonging to his mentor as he recognized the tread, another set slightly larger than his mentor's, and the last set was much, much smaller. As if a child had gone down, and recently.

"Great," Speedy groaned. "Civilians. As if I didn't have enough problems."

* * *

Kid Flash growled, sending a nearby rat scurrying for cover. He'd sped all around the building, but there was nothing that could get him in. Or up to the roof. Honestly, did Gotham not put fire escapes on buildings?

"Looking for something?"

KF whipped around to see the guy from earlier lounging against the building opposite. "What are you doing back here?" he asked. "I'm not giving you any-"

"Relax, dude," the red-head interrupted. "I'm not gonna ask you for anything. Except to please go down into the sewers."

_What…?_ "Are you high or something?" KF asked. He was pretty sure the guy was.

"No, but I'd really like to be!" The teen's eyes were wide and staring. Creepy.

_Must be a Gotham thing._

"Which is why you need to go in the sewers. There's an underground doorway into all of these old buildings."

"Uh, thanks?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just go. I'd really like for the drug lords to start sending out their rounds, and they won't if they think there's a vigilante around."

KF shook his head propped open the manhole cover. As he climbed downward, he saw the teen push the cover back over the hole.

* * *

Robin made his way between the printing presses and tables, trying to disturb as little as possible in order to maintain silence. Silence was key in this operation.

Pulling up the map on his arm computer, he quickly checked for Batman's signal. The faint trail showed him coming through the room Robin was currently in, then down the stairs four more flights before coming out onto the ground floor.

_Why so far down?_ he wondered, closing the screen that had come up. He easily darted through the rest of the room and opened the door on the far side of the room.

It was a good thing he hadn't taken a step-the stairs were nearly gone.

"Batman must've set an explosion!" Robin said, examining the little he could see that was left of the stairs near the door. "But this doesn't look like Batman's explosives."

"That's because they're not. It's Green Arrow's."

* * *

Speedy glared down at the much shorter kid kneeling in the stairwell door. Hopefully, he could get the kid to leave, and quietly. He observed the way he was dressed.

"But this doesn't look like Batman's explosives," the kid said, and Speedy idly wondered if he was some sort of Bat-fanatic. There certainly seemed to be a lot of them, and the kid was more than dressed to be one.

"That's because they're not. It's Green Arrow's," Speedy said, causing the kid to whip around. Great, he even had a mask. This was going to be more difficult than he imagined.

"Why is Green Arrow in Gotham?" the black-haired boy asked. "And who are you?"

"Speedy, Green Arrow's apprentice," he said, pulling the kid to his feet. "And you are a civilian who needs to stop playing dress-up hero and go home."

"I am a concerned _apprentice_ who needs to go find my mentor!" he fired back, and Speedy sighed. Much harder than he thought.

* * *

"Gah, why did I listen to him?" Kid Flash asked aloud, pulling himself out of the stagnant, pungently-scented sewer water. "That is the last time I _ever_ take advice from a druggie!"

He vibrated himself until his bright yellow costume was dryer than it had been. He sniffed his arm, holding it well away once he caught whiff of the material. "Oh, yeah. I won't be allowed back into the _house_…"

He squeezed his eyes shut, opening them seconds later. "OK, I can do this. Flash has gone into sewers before, right? Batman has, though, I know that." He wandered down the tunnel in a random direction. "What am I looking for, exactly? Hmm, KF, you probably should've asked that before he closed the cover on you! Did you ever think of that? Oh, God. What if Killer Croc is down here? I could _die_…"

He came to a stairwell, the sign next to it reading _Gotham Post_. "Hmm, this could be it," he muttered, climbing the stairs carefully. "Why is this so slippery? Never mind, I don't think I really want to _know_…"

This settled it. KF wasn't coming back to Gotham, even if his best friend lived here. No way, no how.

* * *

Robin tried to twist his arm away, but it was nearly impossible; the yellow-and-red clad _Speedy_, as he called himself, had a tight grip on his upper left arm, and, being much taller, was able to lift him to his tip-toes. Not a good way to be productive to escaping.

"Let me go!" he demanded, hating that his nine-year-old voice was still high and squeaky.

"I don't think so, kid," Speedy growled. "You're a civilian who shouldn't be here. I'm going to take you up to the roof, and signal for the Gotham Police to come get you and take you home. I will tie you up if I have to."

Robin eyed his new acquaintance doubtfully. Judging from how nervous he looked, he was definitely new to this. Unused to the tenacity of Gothamites. Even his boots, or lack thereof proper boots, were nearly just a pair of generic rain boots.

He slowly reached into his belt, fishing out the perfect thing he knew was in there somewhere. Speedy was busy trying not to knock either of them into old printing presses to noticed, however.

"Hey!" he said, trying to see if he could get the older to stop. "Wait a minute!"

"What?" Speedy asked, obviously irritated, but he paused. Perfect.

"Catch!" he called, tossing the two freeze balls at the guy's feet. They trapped his boots and crawled partway up his legs, but thankfully only covered a little of Robin's own leg. He wrenched it free.

"Come back!" he heard Speedy call, but he didn't look back. He ran over to the stairwell, grabbing out his grapple gun just in case, and jumped for where the stairs now began.

* * *

Speedy growled. _Outsmarted by a kid whose voice hasn't even cracked_, he admonished himself, even as he reached for an arrow in his quiver. _I'm never going to live this down_.

He activated the heat-tipped arrow, easily melting the ice that had grown up around his feet. With his toes only slightly numb, he turned and ran for the stairwell as well, but the kid was several rounds ahead of him.

He looked at the distance between himself and the stairs. _That's easy_, he thought. _I jumped farther when I was little_.

He leaped, landing with a clang. The kid stopped, looking up, but not for long. Speedy reached for another grabble arrow and shot, hitting the opposite rail as he intended. The grapple held when he tugged, and he took a deep breath before jumping over the side.

* * *

Kid Flash, now well away from the sewer water by now, wrinkled his nose. "'Go into the sewers,'" he mocked. "Brilliant idea! I think I'm even stinkier now than I was before."

He could see a light and wondered who would leave the door to the sewers, in an abandoned building nonetheless, open.

He paused as he reached the doorway, and flattened himself against the stairs. Voices drifted to him through the crack.

"…separate them, Boss?" a deep, gruff voice growled. Literally. KF could see a huge shadow block the door, and thought, _If that thing's human, then I didn't get any superpowers and am in a dream._

"I'm well aware of what they're going to do," a second voice answered icily, and the shadow moved away from the door. "What I need you to do is go and find out some information for me."

KF let out a quiet gasp of recognition. He _knew_ who these guys were!

The door flew open.

* * *

Robin was quite a bit down the stairs-the last sign he'd seen was for the fourth floor-when he heard a clang. He looked up to see Speedy tug on a rope and jump.

He didn't stop to look for long; instead, he adjusted the grip on his own grapple launcher and kept going.

The dizziness that came with going down in relative circles too quickly was slowly creeping over him, but Robin couldn't afford to stop. He didn't care now that he was making so much noise on the stairs-it couldn't be helped at this point.

He just kept going.

* * *

Speedy was falling.

The act itself wasn't very fearful; it was quite exhilarating, to be honest, but Speedy knew the initial fear that all humans instinctively have of falling. But he grimly kept a tight hold on his rope, and watched the kid go even faster than he had been as Speedy got closer.

When he was a level of stairs below the kid, he stopped, using his feet to grab onto the railing. Maneuvering himself onto the stairs, he started going up to intercept the kid.

Green Arrow would have to wait.

* * *

"Nuthin'," Killer Croc said, and Kid Flash silently let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go!" Black Mask snarled, and Croc was down the stairs and in the sewers before KF could blink.

_Guess that answers why the stairs were slippery_, KF reflected, never more glad for having super speed as he pulled himself out of the hole in the wall. _Now, to find Flash and tell him what I heard. He'll know what to do_.

The boy speedster checked that the room was empty before racing for the stairs.

* * *

Robin stopped, warily watching Speedy as he came up the stairs toward him.

"Kid, I'm not gonna hurt you, honest," he said, speaking quietly and holding out his hands as if speaking to a wild animal. "But I need to get you out of here because there's going to be-"

"A fight, I know," Robin interrupted. "That's why I have to get there too-Batman's gonna need me."

"Kid, the Bat already has Robin, you'll just get in the way." Speedy's tone indicated that the teen was getting frustrated, and Robin could understand it.

"Yeah, which is why I need to get down there," Robin said slowly. "Because I am Robin and Batman is well ahead of me, even more than he was before, thanks to you."

Speedy opened his mouth to retort, but then his eyes widened and he looked behind him.

Robin winced as a yellow blur hit Speedy.

* * *

Speedy was down and bumping down the steps before the pain from being hit with what felt like a freight train caught up with him.

"Ow," he heard someone groan, and he echoed it with a groan of his own.

"Anybody get the guy's license?" he asked feebly.

"That was awesome!" he heard the kid who claimed to be Robin yell, and there was a sliding that sounded suspiciously like boots on the railing, and a thud as they hit the ground. "Do it again! I blinked!"

Speedy disentangled himself from the mini pile-up and stood. "OK, care to explain what you were doing?" he asked the other redhead.

"I was looking for Flash!" he said, pushing himself to his feet. Then he looked at who he was with. "Wow! You-you're Speedy! And-and-and-and-"

"And-and-and I'm who?" the kid mocked, but there was a teasing grin on his face.

"YOU'RE ROBIN!" he yelled, seemingly very excited.

"That's great and all," Speedy interrupted, "but who are you?"

* * *

Kid Flash couldn't believe it. Seeing Robin, the first sidekick, and Speedy, the older, second sidekick, was definitely making this night better.

Wait, what did the other ask? Who he was?

"I'm Kid Flash!" he said, letting a huge grin take up his face. "Oh, man, this is so awesome!"

"So you're really _the_ Robin?" Speedy asked, and KF thought he seemed a little sheepish.

"Duh, who else would be carrying around Batman's ice balls?" Robin asked.

"Well, whatever."

"Hey, uh, Kid Flash, right?"

"Yeah!"

"OK, did you see Batman down there? Seeing as you came up and all."

"Or Green Arrow?"

KF thought back really quickly. "Uh, nope, but I did see Killer Croc and Black Mask," he said.

"WHAT?"

"Whoa, kid, wait up!" Speedy yelled, but Robin had launched his grapple gun upwards and was swiftly being carried away.

"Christ," Speedy said, grabbing the rope that dangled to the side. "Wait up!"

KF watched them go, then smacked his forehead. "Duh, KF, they could use some help!" He raced up the stairs himself.

* * *

Robin landed nimbly on the edge of the doorway, barely wobbling. He looked back to see a yellow blur racing up the steps to stop at the broken portion, and reached out a hand.

"I'm never going to wash this glove again!" Kid Flash declared as soon as his feet touched the doorway, and Robin wrinkled his nose.

"OK, not only am I not _that_ famous, but that's going to be a really bad idea because you stink. No offense," he added.

"Oh, yeah. Well, never mind then."

Robin looked down to see Speedy still inching his way up the rope. "Hurry up!" he yelled.

"Well, I don't have an auto-retract like you do," was the snarled reply.

"Meet us on the roof then," he said, and led Kid Flash between the machines, around what was left of the ice from earlier, and up onto the roof.

* * *

"Meet them on the roof," Speedy muttered. "Yeah. I am now taking orders from a nine-year-old."

It did make sense, though, and that's what irked Speedy. That a kid could tell him what was logical before his brain did.

He pulled himself up into the doorway and loosely tied the end of the rope around the knob before heading for the stairs to the roof.

* * *

Kid Flash looked around. "I don't see that guy around anymore," he said.

"Who? Aaron? Redhead, glasses, usually in a zip-up hoodie and jeans?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, how'd you-"

"He's one of our tips into the drug ring. How many guys there are, how often they go around, etc."

"Oh…"

KF looked down and saw a police car roll slowly by; it then stopped, and the driver got out.

"Robin!" he called, waving at the small boy.

"What?" the boy called back.

"Gordon was looking for you and the bat 'bout 20 minutes ago. Somethin' about Black Mask…"

"Uh, yeah. Well, tell him that I'll be right there, but there's going to be a few friends tagging along."

"Will do!" The officer waved and got back in his car. He drove off.

Robin huffed. "Just great. Now I get to drag some out-of-towners to a meeting with Gordon." He pulled his grapple gun out, but then turned to KF. "Uh, when he comes, head for that signal, OK?" he asked, pointing to the Batsignal.

"Okay-dokey!" KF said, watching Robin swing away.

* * *

Robin swung through the tall Gotham buildings with ease, not bothering to think about where he was going too badly.

_They might be an asset if I can't find Batman_, he thought. _I mean, Black Mask can be a handful to take down, so_…

He continued to muse even as he landed on the ledge of the Gotham Police Department building.

* * *

Speedy got on the roof just in time to see Robin swing away. "Where's he going?" he asked the speedster.

Instead of answering, KF pointed. "We're supposed to go meet him there."

"OK," he said, preparing to launch a grapple arrow. He'd have to get a few more; he was running out.

"Uh, I might be of some service," KF said, and Speedy looked at him.

"What did you have in mind?"

Kid Flash grinned, and donned his goggles. "Just get us to the street," he said.

Speedy pointed to a grapple that had been left on the building, and they quickly climbed down.

"OK, now, uh, how's this going to work?" Speedy looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"I need to carry you somehow…"

Speedy seemed a little apprehensive, but did as KF directed and was currently bridle-style in KF's arms.

"Dude, you're heavy," the speedster proclaimed, speeding away.

* * *

It took another couple seconds after Robin had landed, but soon Speedy and Kid Flash were there as well.

"Great, just what we need," someone muttered from the small band of officers present, but Gordon's glare silenced them.

"Thank you for coming," he said. "Black Mask is running a new gig, and we've had reports of him working with-"

"Killer Croc, we know," Robin, KF, and Speedy said at the same time, surprising themselves and Gordon.

"OK, did you know they're in-"

"The old _Gotham Post_ printing facility?" Robin supplied.

Gordon glared at him. "You're just chock-full of it, aren't you?" he asked.

"I try," the Boy Wonder said, smirking.

Gordon just shook his head. "Well, we do know, which you might not, that Black Mask has developed a new serum that can repress a person's ability to think for themselves, allowing a controller to direct them. Once that controller has, well, control, no one else can get through to them. Luckily, though, the officers he did have under this control-" Here, he threw a glare at someone in the assembled group- "were able to be reverted to normal, and we developed an antidote." He tossed a small package to Robin. "Figured you'd want to know."

Robin grinned, tucking the Styrofoam-wrapped antidote in his pocket. "Thanks, Gordon." He looked at Speedy, who sighed. Robin grinned and handed him his spare grapple gun, aiming his own and flying off. Speedy followed, and Robin looked back just before the Batsignal was turned off to see KF speed away.

* * *

Speedy had no idea where he was going. He just followed the outline in front of him and trusted that the younger sidekick would know where to go.

He glanced down to see Kid Flash speed down the street, stop, and look up, following where they were going. Somehow, it made Speedy feel relieved and terrified at the same time.

"Where are we going?" he yelled, hoping the one in front had heard him.

"Batcave!" he head from ahead, but it was faint.

Soon, they came to an area where there were thinning buildings, and he and Robin dropped to the street level. KF was waiting for them.

Speedy shook his head. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

"Actually, you're on the outskirts of Gotham, but we won't get into that," Robin said, leading the way over to a tunnel.

"No way, I already played around in the sewers," KF said, and Robin snorted.

"At least it's clean. It might help the smell, though."

With that, the boy walked through the tunnel.

* * *

Kid Flash followed Speedy through the pipe. He was getting over a little of his fan boy moment, but this was still not high on his list of 'I'd really like to do this if I ever met Robin or Speedy.'

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, though, and his eyes widened as they drew closer.

"The Batcave!" he said, ecstatic.

"Yep!" Robin's smile was almost tangible, even in the darkness.

The cave, while lit, was still dim, and KF could barely make out the form of someone standing by the computer.

"Master Robin, you are back," he said. "And you have guests."

* * *

Robin grinned at the elderly butler. "Hey, Alfred," he greeted. "This is Speedy and Kid Flash."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, sirs," Alfred said. "Might I offer you some refreshments?"

"Yes, please!" KF said, face lighting up. "I'm starving!"

"Really?" Speedy asked. "It's a crisis, and you're _eating_?"

"I have a much faster metabolism than most, you know," KF informed him primly. "Because I have super speed. Un-Flash is like this too."

Robin watched as KF began to devour the snacks that Alfred usually had waiting for him after patrol. "Say, Alfred, do you think you could get a few more batches of this mixed up?"

He handed the man the Styrofoam package, and Alfred took it out. "I do believe so," he said, taking it over to another machine. "Allow me to see what is in it and if I will have to do some shopping."

Robin left him to it and sat down in the chair by the Batcomputer. "OK, so, here's the deal," he began, and Speedy drew in closer to hear and KF stopped chewing so loudly. "I'm fairly sure that Batman, Green Arrow, and Flash are under this, at least. Once Alfred gets it made up, here's what we're going to do…"

* * *

Speedy stalked the sewers, bow poised in case of need. He felt the antidote in his pocket, and it reassured him slightly. But not much.

Robin stood next to him, arm computer up. "OK, KF should be here in…"

"Right now right now right now!" the speedster said, nearly bowling them over. "Man, my un-the Flash must be hard to control with speed, because he sure isn't going as fast as he was earlier!"

Robin looked at the screen, and Speedy could see from the back that there was a dot that was slowly getting closer.

"OK, there's Batman," he said. "Remember, we don't wanna hurt them, we want to get a clear shot for Speedy."

"Yeah, this is going to be fun," Speedy muttered. "I just hope my aim is as good as you're hoping it is."

He tightened his grip as the sound of boots on the ground reached the corner, and the first of the mentors made it around the corner.

* * *

Kid Flash was bouncing on the balls of his feet, on edge about taking on his mentor. But if Gordon was right, and what he'd seen of the older speedster applied now, it was almost a guarantee that he could distract Flash long enough for Speedy to get the shot off.

Amazingly, Flash was the first around the corner, and Speedy drew back the bowstring, ready for the shot. KF sped forward and past Flash, causing him to turn.

_Schwick_

The arrow embedded itself in Flash, and the man slumped, boneless, as the medicine began to take effect. KF grabbed his uncle and gently propped him up on the wall of the current tunnel he was in.

"Sorry," he muttered. "But it's for your own good."

He poked his head around the corner, jerking it back as something came whipping at his face. It hit the opposite corner, beeping quickly and exploding. The tunnel shook, causing everyone to lose their balance.

"The big guns are out to play," Robin said grimly.

* * *

Robin tapped away at his wrist computer, watching the little red Batman dot get steadily closer.

"What's wrong with Flash?" Kid Flash asked from his position next to the prone hero.

"Alfred added a little sedative. It should keep him out until the antidote has had a chance to work," he replied, not looking up. "Though since you have faster metabolisms, it might burn out faster."

"It usually does," KF said, but he didn't seem convinced that everything was OK.

Robin was jerked from his musings with the computer when an arrow flew past his head; in retaliation, Speedy shot an arrow back, causing a blend of sticky…something to trap Green Arrow's feet.

While the man was distracted, Speedy took aim with the antidote arrow, which hit the struggling Green Arrow and caused him to slump against the wall.

"One left," he said grimly.

* * *

Speedy watched the lithe Robin take off, carefully stepping over Green Arrow. His mentor appeared to be sleeping, but you never knew. Speedy loaded the last antidote into his arrow and waited, drawing closer in case it was necessary.

It was. Robin was thrown past him and into the sewage water with a huge splash.

Batman was out in seconds, and the eyes in his cowl narrowed at Speedy. The junior archer stuck the antidote arrow between his teeth and tried to draw a different arrow, but was knocked off his feet and into the water as well.

Robin was already swimming over, and Roy could see why-the water was very nearly over his own head.

"Gotham sewers might not be the best place for this!" Robin yelled.

Speedy couldn't answer, but he nodded, watching KF back up as Batman advanced on him as well.

Speedy knew that this was going to be a one-shot only trick.

He kicked his legs, treading water, as he pulled the arrow back on the bowstring and aimed.

It was hard, not only because KF was in the way, but also because he was going up and down, but he let the arrow fly.

Batman was down before KF could dodge out of his way.

* * *

Kid Flash grinned up at his uncle. "How was that?" he asked.

The Flash grinned back at his nephew. "Almost as good as me," he said, winking and ruffling the young speedster's hair.

"We've _so_ got to do that again!" Robin said, a wide smile nearly splitting his face in half. "I mean, without you guys getting pretty much mind-wiped, of course," he added after a glare from his mentor.

Green Arrow's face took on a pensive look. "You know?" he said.

Three hopeful faces-well, two, as Speedy was trying not to show it-looked back at him.

"We might just let you," Batman finished. "After a shower, of course."

"Awesome!" Speedy whooped, earning a look from his two counterparts. "What?" he asked. "I can be excited too."

* * *

**Well, the ending is lame, but after 6000+ words, I'm not feeling the whole 'Happy Ending' thing…**

**Also after 6000+ words, I'm sure I have a plethora of mistakes-if you would be so kind as to point them out, I'd be muy, muy appreciative!**


	17. Play Ball

**Ah…this is random. OK, so I was (slightly) bored and really in the mood for a Wayne Family ball. Except the only one that I REALLY wanted was in a bunch of drabbles, and it wasn't NEARLY long enough…Doubtfully, though, mine will be any much longer, but it might satisfy my craving for a little itsy bitsy bit.**

**Since it's basically a gift to me for whatever reason, it's set in the future. Because I want it to be.**

* * *

Play Ball

* * *

Dick sucked in a huge gulp of air after the reporters moved away. "Bruce, do I really have to be here?" he asked.

The man didn't look at him, giving a smile to a girl that sat a few tables away. She promptly ducked her head, blushing profusely.

"Yes," he said, turning back to the affairs at his own table-namely, one bored bird. "You are, after all, my son. At least that's what the adoption papers I have tell me."

Dick huffed. "You are so full of it," he said. "I mean, is there any _reason_ for me being here?"

"Because if I'm going to suffer through it, you have to," Bruce said.

Dick's only response was to drop his forehead to the table, but he promptly shot it back up. "Was anybody looking?" he asked.

"Only me."

"And me!"

"Oh, God," the twenty-two year old said, head now in his hands. "Did you really…"

"Yep," Bruce said. "Excuse me, I need to go make a speech."

"So _that's_ what the high chair is for," Dick muttered. "Nothing against Lian, of course."

The girl giggled from Roy's arms.

"Hey, what about the dad?" Roy asked, sitting down in the newly-abandoned seat.

"He's expendable," Dick said, smirking and taking the three-year-old. "Hey, Lian!"

"Hi!" she laughed.

"Why have I totally been absent this entire conversation?" Wally suddenly asked, brow furrowed. "I mean, I didn't chip in at all. Weird."

"Maybe you're finally learning to keep your mouth shut?" Roy suggested.

"Say it ain't so!" Wally said dramatically, holding his chest and pretending to swoon into the seat on Dick's other side.

"He's right, you know," Dick said to Roy, handing the little girl back. "There is absolutely no such thing as a quiet Wally."

"I don't know if I should be offended or grateful," Wally muttered. The clinking of a glass cut off any chance for a retort, though.

Bruce went through the customary speech, thanking everyone for coming and all that jazz. As soon as he was done, the serving staff was out immediately with carts and platters of food.

"You're in my seat," Bruce informed Roy as he came back to the table. But he simply sat down and took Lian from the twenty-nine-year-old's arms. "Hello, Miss Lian!"

"Hi!" the girl burbled.

"Why is everyone taking my daughter?" Roy asked, bemused.

"Because she's absolutely adorable," Wally answered, reaching over to tickle the girl's stomach.

"Unlike her father," Dick added. "I mean, really Roy, you're twenty-nine and live in a city, not eighty and a hermit in the mountains. What the hell is up with the beard?"

"Shh!" Roy hissed. "Lian does NOT need to hear that kind of language!"

"If she doesn't hear it now, she's going to when she starts kindergarten," Wally said.

"That won't be a problem," Roy growled. "She's not going to kindergarten."

"Roy, you can't do that!" Dick cried, exasperated. "It's against the law!"

"Not if she's home schooled."

"Roy," Wally started soothingly.

"You may have gotten your degree…"

"But it wasn't in teaching."

Roy crossed his arms. "So?"

"So-Roy, you can't keep her with you her whole life!" Dick cried, slamming the fork back onto the table. "Sooner or later, she's going to have to leave and live her life!"

"It looks like sooner," Wally said, nodding at something across the room. Lian was walking towards the door, firmly grasping Bruce's finger.

"What…" Roy said, standing. His face looked slightly stricken.

"For God's sake!" Wally said, and he and Dick each took one of Roy's arms and led him from the room.

* * *

Roy was pushed into the chair, and Wally and Dick stood over him. "You two need some time apart," Wally said firmly, taking a step back.

"And we're going to show you what it's going to be like through her life," Dick added. Wally looked at him.

"We are?" he asked.

"Yes, we damn well are," Dick said. "OK, so, I'm Lian, and I'm five years old. Roy, you're going to be you, and you've started home schooling her."

"This is fucked up," Roy moaned, shaking his head. "OK, Lian-"

"Daddy, can we go play?" Dick interrupted, blue eyes wide.

Wally let out a barking laugh, and Roy had to admit that he was barely holding one back-Dick had made his voice higher to mimic the little girl.

"Don't laugh at me," he frowned, voice back to normal. "Answer the question, Roy."

"No, Lian, we can't go out and play," Roy said, or tried to say. It was cracked by laughs and not very intelligible.

"Why?" 'Lian' asked.

"Because you need to learn," Roy said, but cracked up again. "Dude, I can't take you seriously when you're talking like that."

"Fine," Dick said, abandoning the voice. "Why?"

"So you can get smarter."

"But I want to go play!" Dick whined.

Roy closed his eyes, trying desperately not to laugh again. "Lian, don't you want to go work on writing?"

"Nope!" Dick said, as cheerfully as he could while playing a little girl. He got up. "OK, now Lian's gotten bored and wandered off."

"Come back!" Roy called, as Dick, representing Lian, walked out of the room. He stood, but looked at Wally. "What's the point?" he asked.

"Dude, the point is that you're going to have a hard time curbing her natural 'I don't want to do this and you're not going to make me!' syndrome," Dick said, walking back in. "She takes after her father."

"Now _I_ don't know whether to be offended or not," Roy snorted. "So we'll work around it."

Dick hung his head, and Wally took over. "OK, now I'm Lian, and I'm going to be, uh…what's a good age for dating?"

"Forty."

"No," Dick said, glaring at Roy. "Probably sixteen."

"OK." Wally took a deep breath. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Lian?" Roy asked.

"Can I borrow the car?"

"Absolutely not."

"But _whyyy?_"

"What do you need it for?" Roy asked warily instead.

"I'm just going to the movies," the new Lian said, rolling her-his-eyes.

"Who's going?"

"Me, Stacy, Mark, Brian…"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because there's going to be _boys_ there!"

"Daddy," 'Lian' said patiently. "You're a guy."

"So? I'm your father."

"Fine, then. I might as well run away because you won't let me do _anything_!"

"This is insane," Roy decided, abandoning the role acting. "All this has done is convince me even more of both of your sanity, or lack thereof."

"Roy, she's not going to be your baby forever!" Dick said. "She's going to have to live a little!"

"She can live plenty when she's forty."

Dick shook his head. "Forget it."

Wally wasn't going to be so quick to abandon it. "Just think, Roy. You'll have to cook, clean, and provide for her until she's forty. How're you going to like that one?"

Roy thought about it, his face getting a look of abject horror on it after a couple minutes. "God, I'd be _screwed_!"

"Exactly!" Wally and Dick yelled.

"Daddy!"

"Then again," Roy said, smirking as he lifted Lian up. "It couldn't hurt for a little while, at least…"

Wally and Dick fell to the floor, groaning.

* * *

**This was NOT how it was supposed to end up! I wanted them to have brotherly bonding! Curse you, Lian!**

_Roy: Hey, that's my daughter you're talking about!_

**Me: Sorry! Yeah, she's adorable, but she stole the show!**

Dick: Technically, since you wrote it, you can't complain…

**Me: But-but-but-**

Wally: Cheer up. This might encourage you to NOT write anymore future-fics…I mean, let's face it, I'm kinda lame in this one.

**Me: Because that's **_**totally**_** your biggest problem, Wally. Maybe you matured a little?**

_**Wally, Dick, Roy: Nope!**_

**Me: Fine! Just go away or do the bottom AN yourselves!**

_Roy: Gladly._

_OK, Roy here. On behalf of Toadflame, who is currently banging her head repeatedly against the wall, thanks for reading! Leave a comment using the review button-it makes her a lot happier, and thus makes me a happy Roy because then she's not moping around bemoaning her polyhedra._

**In my defense, it's due on Monday, and the thing's damn hard!**

_Not going there. Maybe if she'd work on it…Anyway, she'd really appreciate concrit if you've got it, and questions, comments, and concerns will be addressed by one of us if you want us to. Or she can do it, she's a big girl…_


	18. Paranoid Much?

**This is a combined request for **cooliochick **(possibly you may be cooliochick5? The review for this was anonymous)** **and **RAI-RULZ**.**

**The request from **cooliochick** was for another ER fic, and the one from **RAI-RULZ** was for an injured Dick with Roy and Wally unleashing a can of whoop-ass on the guy who did it. They were a little more complicated than that, though, so I guess you'll have to put up with me explaining the full requests at the bottom. Enjoy! This might seem a little crackish in spots…you'll see why.**

**Oh, and I completely forgot-the answer to the question **_**wayyyy**_** back in chapter 9 is Dr. Remy Hadley, aka Thirteen.**

* * *

Paranoid Much?

* * *

_It was supposed to be a training exercise._

That's what Superman kept telling himself as he and Superboy lay on the floor, a block-a rather large block-of kryptonite just out of reach of either of them.

Superman could barely turn his head as he heard the sounds of a battle going on to his right. He flinched as he watched Robin be slammed into a wall and slump down, unconscious.

The time in the room seemed to slow, almost stop, as Red Arrow and Kid Flash raced over to their friend. The older teen half-turned to glare at the Luthor henchman.

"What. Did. You. Do. To. Him?" Red Arrow asked in a decidedly deadly-soft voice.

"…I damn well threw him into a fucking wall," the man said, like he was talking to a particularly slow toddler. "Why? Is your little friend hurt? I fucking hope so!"

Even with his super hearing fading, Superman could just barely hear Robin's moan that signaled he was returning to consciousness over Red Arrow and Kid Flash's roar of rage. They attacked the man, and, thanks to the boy speedster kicking away the kryptonite (probably accidentally), Superman could push himself to his knees. With the rock quite a bit away now, his powers were returning. He probably needn't have bothered standing, however.

The two fully-functioning heroes stood in the center of the room, KF holding the henchman's arms back, and Red Arrow standing a few feet away, bow drawn and aimed steadily at the man's heart.

"I surrender, I surrender! Uncle, Uncle!" the man cried, and Superman could see tears streaming down his face. His eyes were darting around the room, but they fixated themselves on Superman and the slightly wobbling Superboy. "Man, call them off! I'll confess, I swear! I don't care-drug smuggling, murder, hell, I'll even confess to indecent exposure if it means that I can get away from these crazy bastards!"

"I should kill you now," Red Arrow hissed, and KF's arms tightened and hitched a little higher, drawing a gasp from the trapped man.

"Red Arrow, stand down," Superman said firmly, striding forward. "Go tend to Robin."

Red Arrow looked ready to argue in spite of his injured friend, but another moan had him re-aiming the arrow at the man's feet. He shot, and foam quickly built up around Luthor's henchman. KF stepped back, watching it disinterestedly. Superman noted that the archer hadn't switched arrows, and knew that the teen had had no intention of killing the man.

From the look of shock on the man's face, however, he'd had no doubts the arrow was real, and the boy-_man_-behind it wouldn't have had reservations about killing him.

There had been a time, Superman knew, when the teen wouldn't have hesitated, but he knew better now.

* * *

_Speedy was laughing-Superman had never seen the teen laugh before. He looked over to see Green Arrow's smirk._

"_Amazing, isn't it?" the blond archer said, sounding a little wistful. "How two kids that are practically half his age make him smile and laugh so much."_

_Superman only nodded, watching Speedy tackle Robin to rub his hand across the boy's hair._

* * *

As he and Superboy worked-unsticking the man and retrieving the kryptonite for further study-Superman couldn't help but keep an eye on the trio in the corner. He didn't pry into the conversation they were quietly having in the corner, but he didn't have to. The look on Red Arrow and Kid Flash's faces was enough.

* * *

"Two _days_?"

"I could make it two _weeks_," Dr. Hadley threatened.

"Aw, Doc, can't you go easy on the guy?" Wally asked.

"Don't even start," she hissed at him. "You're still in the doghouse for the cinnamon and garlic trick."

"You make it sound like I'm positively angelic," Roy snorted, chuckling.

Hadley sighed. "At this point, Roy, you probably are."

"This is ridiculous," Dick grunted, trying to push himself up from the bed. "I've had worse concussions, I don't need to be here."

Trying to prove his point, he stood, but wobbled.

"Says the guy who can barely stand up without nearly falling," she retorted, pushing Dick back down. "Listen, bud, I know that you guys do some crazy stuff to each other to keep from drawing unwanted attention to your secret identities, but I know all. And the omniscient doctor says _Stay. Still!_"

With Dick back on the bed, Hadley sighed again. "I'm going to get coffee. All three of you better be here, in _exactly the same spots_, when I get back." She stalked out of the room.

Dick's eyes were slightly widened. "Dude, how do you _survive_ with her as your doctor 24/7?" he asked.

Roy smirked. "I don't make her mad."

The three sat in amiable silence until it was broken with a breathy, "Dude."

"Wally, you just ruined it," Dick said, throwing the pillow at his wayward friend.

Ignoring the pillow that dropped after hitting his face, Wally said, "You know what I just realized?"

Roy shook his head. "You're a very ignorant person?"

"No, that Dick's the one who's been in the ER almost every time we've come here for one."

"…You're kidding, right?"

"What? No, I'm serious!" And God help them, the redhead looked really earnest about this. "Think about it-camping, cinnamon challenge, and now this. That's three times. Not including other miscellaneous visits."

"Well, bad luck comes in threes," Roy said. "Maybe your bad luck's just been in ER visits?"

"Roy, not you too!" Dick moaned, letting his head fall down, but catching it just in time. "Hand me that pillow."

Bemused, Wally did, and Dick rearranged it before again letting his head fall dramatically. "Roy, you're supposed to be the sane one!"

"Well, you have to admit it's true…"

"I'm testing the 'What I don't know can't hurt me' mentality," he said. "Hand me those wintergreen lozenge things."

"How can you eat those, they taste like chalk," Roy said, wrinkling his nose but passing the bowl anyway. "Why do they even keep them in the rooms?"

"Because I've gotten addicted to them and the nurses here like me." Dick smirked, popping one into his mouth.

Roy only rolled his eyes.

Hadley came back into the room, hair askew even more than before. "Oh, good," she said, taking a deep gulp of whatever was in her mug. "I thought you'd wandered off."

"Nope, just sitting here eating wintergreen things," Dick said.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm almost off-shift. Sarah's working the desk tonight, and all the night staff know you two are supposed to be here as well. I think you know where the cots are, if you need anything, just ask."

"Got it, doc," Roy said. "Good night."

"I only hope so," she muttered. "Paul should be making his rounds in about an hour. I'm going home."

She left the room, muttering something about annoying sidekicks.

"We're not sidekicks!" Roy yelled after her.

"I know!" she called back.

* * *

"Hey guys," Paul, the head nurse for the night, said as he poked his head in.

Wally went from dozing to on his feet in seconds. "Uh, hi," he said, looking slightly sheepish.

"Nice reflexes," Paul commented as he came to stand at the end of the bed. "Mr. Grayson, are you awake?"

"…Hmmm?" Dick mumbled, blue eyes opening slightly. "Oh, hi, Paul."

"Well, you know me at least," he joked, coming to take Dick's vitals. "I need your name, age, and guardian's name, if you don't mind. Standard procedure."

"Richard John Grayson, aka Dick, I'm 13 years old, and my guardian is Bruce Wayne."

"Good, good. Do you know the date?"

"Monday, April 25, 2011."

"How about your birthdate?"

"March 21, 1997."

"Well, I think that should be good for now," Paul said. "Do you need anything? Food, drinks, something to sleep on, meds…"

"No!" Wally said immediately. Roy and Dick both looked at him in surprise, as did Paul; after a moment, Wally squirmed. "I mean, we're good," he added.

Paul looked questioningly at Roy and Dick, who both nodded. "Well, I'll be back to check on you in a couple hours," he said, looking rather bemused as he left.

"Dude, what was that all about?" Dick asked.

"Um, nothing?"

"Bull."

"Tell us."

"No!"

"Come on…"

"You'll feel better about it…"

"I…OK! I just don't want you to get hurt, D!"

Silence rang around the small room, until Roy started laughing.

"Really, Wally?" he wheezed. "I've known Paul ever since I started coming here. He's an awesome guy."

"Yeah, well, there's something different about him…" Wally muttered, crossing his arms and sinking into the chair.

* * *

Paul quietly cursed as he made his way into the empty break room.

"Did you get it in him?" a voice asked. It had come from the tiny communicator in Paul's pocket; he took it out and schooled his face.

"Not yet. The redhead shooed me out before I could."

"Then you have failed."

"NO, I swear! I can, I promise!"

"You promised before, and that did not pan out. Send in Agent X, then come to headquarters."

There was a click, and nothing more. Paul felt the sweat that had beaded on his forehead slide down his face and drip off onto his scrubs.

* * *

Dick was soundly asleep on the hospital bed before Roy pounced. "Why are you so afraid to let Paul near D?" he whispered harshly.

"I told you," Wally said back, just as quietly. "There's something off about Paul. He's not like he used to be. It's…darker. Like something's inside his body."

"That doesn't exactly make much sense."

Wally rolled his eyes, but didn't press the point. "Well, it may sound absurd, but I _know_ there's something off with him."

Wally was saved from Roy's rebuttal with the arrival of a youngish-male wearing a doctor's lab coat.

"Hi," he said quietly, obviously noting the sleeping boy on the bed. "I'm Dr. Brad Pitt, no relation to the actor." He stepped inside. "I presume you are Wally and Roy?"

Both boys nodded in a slight jerky motion.

"I'm afraid you boys are well past visiting hours," Pitt chided. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Roy's eyes narrowed as Wally moved in front of the bed. "Not a chance," he said, glaring at the doctor. "We're here with special permission."

"Whoever gave you that is obviously not aware of the hospital rules," he said. "Visiting hours are from 8 until 8. You can come back tomorrow."

"We have permission from Dr. Remy Hadley, who got it from the hospital board," Roy said. "_You_ are obviously unaware of this."

Pitt seemed flustered, but he seemed to recover quickly. "Well, I need you to step outside anyway," he said. "There seems to be a slight problem with…Mr. Grayson's memory."

"There's no problem," Roy said. "Whoever told you that is on crack."

"I'm afraid you're going to have to leave," Wally mocked slightly, stepping forward to hustle the doctor from the room. Roy discretely pressed the button on Dick's bed.

"I don't think-"

"Dr. Pitt?"

Sarah had come into the room after Roy had pushed the button and was looking a little strangely at the man. "I thought you'd gone home."

"I…was just checking in for Remy," he said, trying to make it sound smooth, but failing miserably.

"Doctor, you shift ended four hours ago," Sarah said, sounding very confused.

Without another word, Pitt turned abruptly and walked out the door. Roy and Wally glanced at each other before following.

"Sarah, can you stay here?" Roy asked.

"Sure," she said, looking bemused. "Where are you-"

Neither answered as they were already into the hall and following Pitt.

* * *

"I am _so_ glad for tennis shoes," Roy whispered. "They make almost no noise compared to combat boots."

Wally silently agreed, speeding to the side as Pitt turned and looked around before sneaking into the break room.

The two redheads edged closer to the door. "…no," Pit was saying, and there was an inaudible reply.

"His 'guard dogs' prevented successful injection, unfortunately," Pitt replied, and Wally could almost literally hear and see the quotes around the words.

The garbled voice was back, still inaudible to Wally, but the wince that passed across Pitt's back gave him a pretty good idea of what was said.

"I…no, I swear I can get it!"

There was another message that came from what was obviously a communicator, and Pitt snarled, "Paul was an idiot! I _know_ I can get it in him!"

Wally smirked across the hall at Roy in spite of the danger, and Roy rolled his eyes back.

Evidently, they had missed the end of the conversation, for Pitt had turned and was walking towards the door. Wally sped to the left, hiding around the corner and peeking back around just in time to see Roy pull himself through the hole left by a ceiling tile having been moved.

Pitt walked into the hall, glancing around, before heading to his own left, away from Wally. But instead of walking straight towards Dick's room, the doctor turned right, kitty-corner from the break room.

Wally came back into the hall, slowly, as Roy dropped from the ceiling. "Follow him," he ordered. "I'm gonna go check on D."

* * *

"Completely left the building," Wally reported an hour later. "I even followed him clear into the city. He won't be back for a while."

"Good," Roy said. "They just did a concussion check a while ago. Sarah's almost sure that D might not have to spend tomorrow night here."

"Awesome," Wally said, dropping back into the seat he had occupied before.

Roy yawned. "Well, I'm beat," he said, crossing his arms.

"_You're_ beat?" Wally cried, though not loud enough to stir the sleeping teen between them. "Not only am _I_ tired after all that running, but I barely made it to the parking lot before crashing!"

Roy laughed. "Poor baby. Is that some sort of hint?"

"Only slightly," Wally mumbled, eyes closing as he sat back into the chair.

"I'm not made of money," Roy grumbled, standing. "What do you want?"

"…"

"I don't speak mumble," Roy said, hand on the door. "I'll just bring you back whatever."

"Sounds good," the speedster sighed, already half-asleep.

Roy smirked as he walked down the hall. No bets that Wally would be asleep before he was back.

And he was. Roy set the snacks he'd gotten on the table nearest to Wally, who was passed out with his head on Dick's bed, before getting a cot out and stretching out beside the bed. He was asleep in seconds.

* * *

**There's a follow-up to this, but I thought it might be best to end on that little adorably sweet moment. ;) The next chapter will have the conclusion: WHAT WAS UP WITH PAUL AND DR. PITT?**

**Ahem.**

**Bonus if you can find the line that is actually a song lyric. I'll even be helpful and say: It was one of Wally's lines. *evil smirk* OK, a little more info-it's from the song **_**Superman**_** by Five for Fighting. It's after the section with just Paul, but before Roy and Wally are out sneaking around.**

**Another bonus if you can tell me what show Dr. Brad Pitt is from!**

**Oh, almost forgot-the prompts!**

cooliochick**: **_Dick's in the emergency room again having a discussion with Roy and Wally about him always the one who ends up in the ER. Wally becomes overprotective of Dick, while Roy simply tries to convince the teen otherwise. Roy keeps getting proved wrong._

RAI-RULZ**: **_Robin gets hurt by a villain, and the villain can even beat Superman and Superboy. Red Arrow and Kid Flash try to wake Robin up, but he has a concussion. Red Arrow and Kid Flash get totally pissed and they somehow beat the villain to the point where he is begging to go to jail. Red Arrow and Kid Flash have to be held back by Superman and Superboy. Robin wakes up and Kid Flash and Red Arrow relax knowing their friend is OK._

**Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this!**


	19. Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the News

**Well, I had this really awesome thing planned, but it got closed on me, so I don't remember the really cool title that I had for this. Oh well.**

**I'm guessing, since I think everyone who reviewed got at least ONE of the answers from last chapter, I need to pick harder references! *glare* You're really testing my knowledge, right? And my musical/random TV stuff library…Quick, without using Google, who is the only man to have a book in every Dewey Decimal category?**

**There, I think I stumped you with that one.**

**Anyway, answers from last chapter:The line-**_It may sound absurd_**, which is from Superman**** by Five for Fighting.**

**Dr. Brad Pitt (no relation to the actor) is from NCIS-more specifically, Season 2, episode SWAK. That one and Twilight are probably my two favorite episodes. Oh, and Chained is a good one too.**

**The answer to the question above is Isaac Asimov, in case anyone's wondering. Oh, and I'm having so much déjà vu today that even **_**I'm**_** getting freaked out, and I usually get déjà vu at least once a week, if not 4-5 times a week.**

**Enough about me, though. Enjoy the second part of **_**Paranoid Much?**_

* * *

Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the News: Can I Go Home?

* * *

"Rise and shine, boys!" an entirely-too-chipper voice called, and Roy did his best to drone her out with a groan.

"'s too early," he moaned, though even to his half-awake ears it sounded like a jumble of syllables. He pulled the blanket over his head to try and ward off the wide-awake doctor's assault.

"None of that!" Hadley admonished, ripping the blanket from Roy's admittedly weak grasp. She must've opened the curtains in the room, for it was filled with both artificial and natural light.

"Too. Early," Roy ground out, pressing his face deep into the cushion of the chair. Damn it, he had slept funny. That would leave a crick in the morning-well, now.

"Wimp," Dick's voice chimed in, and Roy lifted his head to squint at the boy against the light. "Wally just slept through the whole thing." In an aside to Hadley, he added, "Roy's never been much of a morning person."

"Hey!" Roy cried. "I heard that!"

"Well, it's true," Dick shot back.

Roy shook his head. "So…why didn't you wake Wally up in the same rude manner that _I_ got this cheerful morning?" he asked, lacing the last couple words with a hefty dose of sarcasm.

"We tried," Hadley said.

"He's dead to the world," Dick finished. "Say, doc, when can I get out of here?"

"Breakfast first," she said. "THEN we'll talk about leaving."

"How about we just leave him here?" Roy asked hopefully. "I mean, I get that you were sleeping, but you can't be a _little_ grateful that W and I saved your life last night?"

"Well, I _would_, if I even knew what you were talking about!"

Roy gave Dick and Hadley a concise update of what had occurred in the previous evening after she'd left. By the end, Hadley was laughing.

"God, you two are funnier than I don't even know what," she gasped. "That was just the tracker I was trying to get them to put in! He's the only one who hasn't gotten one yet."

Roy looked at her blankly. "Tracker?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah, you know that scar on your ankle?" she asked. "From when you split your leg open last year and needed 5 stitches? That's where your tracker is." She lifted the hair from behind Wally's ear. "I got my contact in Central to put this one in when Wally came in for his regular physical that, for whatever reason, his uncle has him get as Kid Flash."

She took a needle and measured out a small dose of whatever she had in her pocket.

"But wait!" Dick cried. "Why do I need a tracker?"

"I feel safer knowing where you are," she said plainly. "Besides, you and Wally found it useful when you were trying to track Roy down that-"

Roy looked between the horrified look on Dick's face and Hadley's 'Oops, I said too much' expression. "Uh…what?" Then it clicked.

"You gave them a _tracking number_ to find me?"

* * *

**You're all extremely smart, so I'm pretty sure you can infer what happens/what has happened. If not, Dick gets a tracker and is released. End of story. Has happened: Hadley let Dick and Wally use her tracker to find Roy after he disappeared at one point. I might do a drabble on that one, but maybe not.**

**Poor Roy's a grouch! Lucky for Wally, he's sleeping through it!**


	20. Dog Days Are Over

**I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON! I've been neglecting this so badly! And my email reply links are being stupid, so I **_**know**_** I didn't get to all of you (I did get some when I figured out how to get it through PM) who reviewed last chapter/any chapters before-always know that I greatly appreciate them!**

**As for why I've been neglecting this - Ash, you already know, but don't skip this chapter! - I'm currently writing chapter 4 of an AU story! This is a little bit of a preview/post story thing. I don't really want to give a whole lot away, this is just a teaser. As I currently don't know how many chapters it will be, it may be another few weeks between updates again.**

**I'm working on requests, I swear I am, but they might be a while yet.**

**Without further ado…a (future) deleted scene from the (currently) unnamed AU…**

* * *

Dog Days Are Over

* * *

_Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father_

_Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers_

_Leave all your love and longing behind you_

_Can't carry it with you if you want to survive_

-Dog Days Are Over, Florence and the Machine

* * *

The snapping of the fire had died down until only coals glowed a soft orange in the darkness. Roy wasn't quite sure why he was still up, whether it was from the adrenaline from earlier or the ribs that still ached from his day in solitary. The woods were silent, save for the breathing of the two boys next to him.

Speaking of which…

Dick's skin, even after days of being outside and running, was still pale. He slept deeply, his breathing even, and Roy knew there probably wouldn't be nightmares tonight. He was glad to see the former Boy Wonder in this peaceful state. Their encounter with Batman on the last night they'd been in Gotham hadn't been a good one.

He turned to his right, studying the other boy. The fire glinted off Wally's red hair, making it seem an even brighter orange than in the daylight. He, too, was in a relaxed and deep sleep, and seeing them both that way made Roy almost a little envious.

Looking up, he saw the moon, bright and in the near center of the sky. It was probably about midnight, if his skills weren't rusty from the years spent underground. They more than likely were, but at this point, that was beside the point.

He looked back down to the boys. Dick, skinny as ever. Wally, tanned (from where his sunburn had peeled) and slim, but not overly so. They'd be able to take care of themselves.

He stood, ignoring the twinge in his side and ankle, and grabbed the crude bow and arrows he'd managed to make in their time spent on the run. At least this was a skill that hadn't gotten rusty. His shots earlier into the apples were spot-on, even for the slightly bent arrows and knobby bow.

His feet took the first few steps away from the fire.

Maybe he'd stoke it a little before he left…

* * *

The moon had moved only a little ways across the sky when he looked again, and the fire was still going. He stared into it, watching the flames dance.

Dick snuffled a little, rolling under the jacket that was laid precariously across his chest. Roy couldn't help but smile.

He stood once again, stretching. He winced when it pulled against his sore muscles, but he didn't dwell on it as he walked out of the circle of firelight. He didn't look back until he was at the edge of the clearing. He stopped, sighing, and turned.

He needed to leave, he knew it.

But, as he looked back at the two trusting boys who still slept by the fire, he knew he didn't have it in him to leave them alone. The MCA would be on them like syrup on pancakes. Or something like that.

He sighed, the lyrics of an old song coming to his mind.

_Leave all your love and longing behind you; can't carry it with you if you want to survive_.

_She sure hit that nail on the head_, Roy thought as he plunked himself down on the rock again.

But as he looked at the two boys, he knew that they were his family, and if they were going down…

Well, he was gonna go down with them. Simple as that.

* * *

**OK, so it's really drabble-y. Is that a word?**

**Anyway, I hope that's whetted your appetite for what is to come in this AU story! Since I don't even have a title yet, how about you guys shooting me an idea or two? I might write you a story…though since I already do that, it might not be a prize…how about the winner gets to have his/her idea be the 25****th**** story?**

**Oh, and don't forget - you have seven more days to submit your Young Justice stories into the awards! The link, if you forgot, is below. Just take out the spaces:**

**http: / /www .yj awards .wet paint .com**


	21. Recovery

**Request from **_**bluejay, **_**as a prize for a winning July Collab entry. I happened to judge and got the chance to write with the eloquent prompts of 'recovering from injury Robin' and 'overprotective Superboy.' No, just kidding, bluj, they were fine prompts.**

'**Tis short, beithing only a drabble, but hey. I've had a really bad writer's apathy lately, haven't really been interested in writing (read: reading Harry Potter fan fiction - it's addicting, but hard to find something good), and I promise I wasn't holding out for reviews.**

**No Roy Joy, just Wally and Dick friendship at the end-ish part. And Superboy. Poor Dick's going crazy.**

* * *

Recovery

* * *

He was almost there. Just a few more steps. The crutches weren't even making a-

Oh, hey, his feet weren't touching the ground anymore, and the metal supports under his arms dangled. Great.

"Superboy, really, all I was going to do was-"

"Go back to bed."

"No, you don't understand, Batman wants me to-"

"Rest, not wander the halls."

Dick huffed as the clone carried him, arm around his chest, into the recovery ward of Mount Justice's hospital area to set the teen back on the bed.

"I wasn't wandering," he muttered petulantly, arms crossing as soon as Superboy removed the crutches from his grip. "I had a specific destination in mind."

"The bed, right?"

"Laptop, actually. Gotta update the Batcave's security system. Batman's orders."

Superboy only gave him a look from the doorway. "I highly doubt that."

"It's true! Ask him yourself!" Robin shouted after him, but the clone made no sound of having heard him. "Stupid, overprotective-"

"I thought Roy had dibs on that one?"

Dick gave his best Bat-glare to the redhead now standing at the foot of his bed. "Clones, apparently. Roy's a clone, right?"

"Dude, I'm not checking, you're on your own on that one," Wally laughed, sitting in the chair to the right of the bed, tossing his legs on top of the cover and leaning his chair back. Dick pushed his legs off with his good foot, satisfied at the thump of the chair falling. If only it had gone backwards…

"Shortpants?"

"Twinkletoes," Dick returned scathingly, glaring at Wally again. "What?"

"Dude, don't bite my head off! I was just wondering where your puppy went."

"Don't know. Hey, could you get my laptop out of the living room? That's where I was headed before I got caught by the Warden."

"Sure. Back in a-"

"Flash, got it. Just go!"

"Fine." The blur was out and back within a few seconds. "See if I do anything nice for you again."

"You're never nice to me," Dick murmured, engrossed in his typing. "Wally? I need that USB drive that went with it. Can you- Wally?"

Dick glanced up from the screen and took in the room. No Wally, though where the speedster had gone was a bit of a mystery.

A mystery that was answered seconds later with the removal of his laptop.

"Hey!"

Superboy marched out of the room. "You are supposed to rest when you're injured, not update the Batcave, not chat with Wally, not wander around. R-E-S-T rest."

The door clicked shut.

"Stupid overprotective clones anyway."

* * *

**Funny? I'd like to think so. Cheesy? That's what you get from me. What you were looking for, bluj? Only you know.**

**Again, sorry about all the block and stuff, just haven't really wanted to write for a while. But I'm slowly getting there, I've got, like, three things in the works for this and still got that story brewing. I'd expect something updated here within the next month or so. I hope.**

**Actually, let me pose a quick poll between my two furthest projects:**

_**Cooking Lessons**_**: In which we learn where Roy learned his BA cooking skills. Or, you know, something like that. At least we know where Dinah's awesome chicken noodle soup recipe went.**

**Excerpt: **"No, Dinah! Don't hang up-NO! Don't come over! I just need you to…no, I'm not, it's just…" Roy fumbled with the phone as Black Canary yelled something at him over the phone - it was all just a mumble at this point to him. "Can't you just-ARGH!" He slammed the phone back onto the cradle.

"I didn't know we were playing pirates," Wally quipped from Roy's kitchen table.

"Shut. Up," Roy groaned, letting his head hit the cabinet next to the phone cubby. "Kill me now, Ollie's girlfriend is coming over to teach me basic cooking-like things."

_**Gray**_**: Future!Verse, poor Lian's caught sneaking out and it's Uncle Dick and Uncle Wally to the rescue in the hospital room.**

**Excerpt:** "Finally," a voice from ahead called. A woman with graying hair hurried toward them, white lab coat billowing in the artificially created wind from her movement. "You two need to calm him down!"

"Hey, Doc. Has he started throwing things yet?" Dick asked.

Dr. Hadley sighed. "Not yet, but it's only a matter of time!"

All three winced as Lian yelled back, "AT LEAST I _HAVE_ A SOCIAL LIFE, DAD!"

"Damn," Wally whistled. "She's been taking lessons."

"I'm pretty sure she learned that one from you."

"Eh." Wally waved a hand. "Semantics. Come on."

**Your choice. Which one you wanna see first? Both of them are about a quarter of the way done and would take less than a week to finish.**


	22. Perfect

**Yeah, I'm still alive. I think. Just for the record: I. Hate. Prom. Seriously. We had people trying to get stuff done for it in September. We hadn't even had Homecoming and they were trying to get us to do prom stuff. Seriously, it's not gonna matter like, senior year. DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN PROM IF YOU VALUE SANITY! We had voting Friday and like, everyone was asking me if they could see the list of people who paid dues. Insane. I think that our advisors should leave it until the day before to announce court and then we won't have drama about people whining that they weren't on court until then. I'm sick and tired of it and it hasn't even happened.**

**Sorry, I'm venting.**

**Anyway, I'm trying out a new formatting style for different parts of this. Just…be warned. Bolded things are stressed, rather than italics showing stressed ideas. Italics stand for something else.**

**Warning: some scenes may not be for the squeamish or young. This is a much darker story than my normal fare here, and should be treated accordingly.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Perfect

* * *

I can feel the sweat pouring down my face, my muscles straining as I attempt to hold myself up for just that bit longer, that little bit more…

_The flicker of a shadow, barely discernible, across the slick cement walls. Oppressive darkness pressing in from all sides. Stagnated sound, everything muted unless spoken from the interior._

I need to push myself; it's just…a need. I can't even describe it. I just feel it. Nothing can stop it.

I hop off the bars, grabbing a towel on my way to the mirror. My face is red; sweaty; euphoric. My arms tremble from their exertion, but even then it's a contented tremble.

_There's nothing in the room that will help. The walls are smooth, perfectly so, and cracks between the blocks are nonexistent. Any attempts to discern a door from current heights are completely unsuccessful._

My hands are shaking ever so slightly; it's highly visible if I manage to hold my hand in a horizontal and steady enough position. It moves back and forth, on a mind of its own. I cannot stand for that. I will need to work on that.

My stomach rumbles lightly. I tell it to quiet. I'd gotten control over my appetite ages ago; I thought we were past this stage. This would need fixing as well.

_Light floods the room. The walls are no longer smooth; they are fractured, horribly, disfiguringly so. There will be no repairing them to their former glory. The slickness noted earlier has been revealed in the brightness; it is blood. Thick, viscous, sticky blood. It coats fingers, clothing, walls, floor, shoes, everything. It should not be like this; this should be different. This is wrong._

It seems unnatural, my dry face. I glance at the mirror again after patting the sweat off with a towel. The features are still red from exertion, but no longer is there a sheen across my skin.

My breathing quickens, and it has nothing to do with exercise. It is something else; primal, yet so sophisticated and evolved that no one can make sense of it. There are untold amounts of documented cases, all similar to what They said I showed. They gave me the evidence; I laughed in Their faces. They tried to **help** me; I spat in Their faces and fled.

_The prison walls, for that was what they were, were now imperfect. Like everything in this world, there is nothing that could be called perfect. Perfection; the greatest illusion mankind has ever tried to pass off, even upon each other. It was, after all, Antoine de Saint-Exupery who said, "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but nothing left to take away."_

I took a leaf from the book of any burgeoning hero: I cut off ties with everyone whom I worked with in the past and started anew, my own man. I kept just two in the loop, but we drifted apart as I pursued my quest and they theirs. There was nothing between us to keep us together any longer. The glue that formed our bond was gone.

_Mortar chips from the ever-widening cracks. Fingers rub against the blood that wells from the new cracks, the sticky liquid no longer as much a bother as it had been previously. It was a curious thing, that walls were bleeding. It seemed like something that a mind would cook up for a horror movie. Tarantino, or Hitchcock, or someone._

No, no, no! I could feel my mind cracking, feel what seemed a warm gush of blood flow over my mind and almost like it would leak; out my ears, my eyes, my nose, my mouth, everywhere. It would run down my arms, drip from my fingers, leak from every pore until there was none left. I could, even now, feel it straining against the confines of skin and muscle.

_The walls were disintegrating now. No longer was it slow, deliberate. This was quick; haphazard; dangerous. The illusion of safety was now being left behind. Perfection had been obliterated into the dust._

My hands clutch my head, temples pounding wildly. This is not how it should have gone! It was supposed to be perfect; everything would be all right if it had kept quiet. Instead, I was now fighting a losing battle against my own mind. My world was falling apart right before my eyes.

_The walls pulsated, fragmenting with each throb. The perfect world within was falling apart, as the illusionary perfect one on the outer side shattered._

I opened my mouth-

_A scream reverberated within. But now, instead of muted, it was everywhere. It was primal, indescribable. Alertness within was picked up. The time to take back was at hand._

It was to be a mental battle, then. I withdrew into the crumbling walls of the castle, through the rubble, blood, and leftover stone to the deepest, darkest room within.

_Footsteps from within, yet out at the same time. Attention was carefully paid to where a doorframe was being constructed. It was almost time for this to end._

I opened the door, ready to attack at any moment, but nothing moved. I was unconvinced, and hesitantly inched forward. A hand shot out, pulling me face to face with myself.

_I stared at the thin figure that was to be me. "So," I breathe at the imposter. "You were supposed to be me?" A smirk stole across my face. "Let's test that theory."_

* * *

**FIN**

* * *

**All right, use your imagination on the ending. It was originally going to be more ambiguous, but turned out like this. I think I like this better, though. I will be more than glad to share what I was thinking about as I wrote this with whoever asks. I do not expect that any requests will get done in too timely a fashion, to which I apologize, but it's been just crazy.**

**By the way, this DOES count as part of this because it IS YJ, even though I didn't mention any names. I think you can guess on most of this.**

**STORY SUGGESTIONS**

_Broken Glass – Panamint. _ This is kinda where I got the idea, slightly, but it's about an eating disorder. It's posted in the Batman category, and the story code is 3248184. I love this for several reasons, the most important being that, despite being about an eating disorder, it has a GUY who has it. A lot of people simply assume that only girls get them, but really, they aren't the only ones. And while you're reading that, check out some of Panamint's Batman stories. They're a lot of fun to read and will take some of the severity from _Broken Glass_ if it's bothering you too much.

_The Horror! The Horror! – DisobedienceWriter._ Just kinda a random one from Harry Potter fandoms. The ID is 4145459. It's very random, but very, VERY funny and an all-around fun read. It has bashing of several characters, including but not limited to Albus Dumbledore, Dolores Umbridge, Cornelius Fudge, and Rufus Scrimgeour, but it's a parody, so even if you like any/all of those characters, you could still read it and have a good time doing so. I like this one simply because it takes a lot of different "fanons" and combines them, but still makes sense as a serious story. I recommend checking out some of his other stuff if you enjoy a good and SENSIBLE Dumbledore bash once in a while (I'd recommend _Harry Potter and the Irish Choice_ if you do).

**Well, that's all for now! Hope you enjoyed and have a moment to leave a review! *drops off face of the Earth again***


	23. This is War

**Credit to the idea/theme behind this goes to **_**DarthZ**_**. I'd actually been thinking about doing something like this for a while, but you gave me a few ideas to mess around with. Thanks!**

**Also, I have a poll up on my profile! Go vote for which of the already-started ideas you'd like to see as a faster-updated chapter! Or if you want something new because you don't like any of those ideas.**

**That said, enjoy the silliness of this chapter while I go try to find a way to NOT have prom anymore…And Kaldur just kinda snuck in, but I like him. I might keep him around a while yet…he's just so serious!**

**By the way, this is set pre-series and spans through a bit of the series. Remember that bolded things within the text now mean that something is stressed.**

**Possible spoilers for Agendas and Insecurity if you haven't seen them…By the way, how about that episode this morning? I squeed through the whole thing, especially the ending. And addict!Supey**

* * *

This is War

* * *

"This is such a Bad Idea that it gets capital letters when I say it," Roy hissed to the two boys in front of him. Twin heads swiveled to glare at him.

"Well, of course it will be if you **keep talking**," Dick hissed back. The ten-year-old was in the lead, with their bag of tricks, as he and Wally continually referred to it as, slung over his shoulder. Wally was right behind him, a dark cap over his distinctive hair. Roy had a similar one covering his own brilliant red mop.

"No, guys, I'm serious," the fifteen-year-old tried. "There is no possible way that we won't get grounded for this. No, scratch that, we'll be Bat-grounded, and we'll all die if we're Bat-grounded because of it. I'm too young to die!"

"You're fifteen, that's ancient," Dick said confidently in his ten-year-old wisdom. "Besides, it's only you two who'll die if we're caught. I can evade Batman long enough to get out of the country."

"Because that makes me feel so much better," Roy said, rolling his eyes. Then, realizing that the duo ahead of him was gone already, he snuck a peek around the corner. The door to the formal sitting area was open, and he glanced around nervously before making a hurried – and silent – break for the room.

"Dude, where were you? We were about to go down without you!" Wally said.

"Never mind that – remind me why I'm doing this again?" he asked, feeling frazzled.

"Because you love us?"

"And want to make sure we succeed in life?"

"Because we're your little brothers that you never had?"

"I'm pretty sure that it has nothing to do with that and more to do with the fact that you need a fall guy," Roy muttered.

"Maybe that too." Dick glanced at his watch. "Come on, we have to hurry. Bruce'll be home in less than an hour, and then Batman will be out. This has to be done before then."

His feelings of apprehension growing, Roy followed the youngest two sidekicks down into the grandfather clock.

* * *

"I cannot believe we are still alive," Roy said the next time the three (and Aqualad, but that was only because their mentors needed to dump them somewhere, and they though that Kaldur, as he told them to call him, could use some human interaction). "I mean, seriously, we should've been dead for that one."

"Why do you think that?" Kaldur asked, looking honestly confused.

Roy arranged his face into a long-suffering look, hoping to inspire sympathy from the second oldest in the room. "Those two dragged me down into the Batcave and made me help them repaint the Batmobile!"

"It was awesome, R! I don't know why you're such a stick in the mud, especially since we got away with it!" Dick, bless his little ten-year-old heart, was all but bouncing off the walls of the room.

"I even got pictures!" Wally said, looking just as hyper as his counterpart. "I'll go get them!" He zipped off, and Kaldur looked at him curiously.

"Are they always like this?" he asked, mystified.

"Only when they've been allowed to have too much sugar and are still giddy off a prank," Roy said.

"I will never understand humans," Kaldur said quietly.

"Look!" Wally said, holding a camera up and waving it in Kaldur's face. "Isn't that just…there's not a word epic enough to describe that which we did – and got away with!"

"Seriously?" Roy asked, snatching the camera from the rapidly flailing Wally. "I can't believe you – dude, are you looking to be a photographer or something?"

He looked at the pictures skeptically, but had to admit, to even his untrained eye, Wally had a knack for picking out good angles for pictures.

"No, it's a hobby," he said proudly.

"And I suppose hot-pink Batmobiles with powder-blue racing stripes and purple flames is a good subject as any," Roy said, handing the camera to a shocked Kaldur.

"I do not get it," Kaldur said. "What is this supposed to mean?"

"OK, so the Batmobile's black, right? Well, pink, purple, and that shade of blue are, well, **girly** colors. And Batman's like, all macho and whatever," Dick said, climbing up onto Roy's shoulders. He folded his hands on top of Roy's hair. "So, we painted it to show that Batman's really all about fluffy bunnies and unicorns and rainbows and junk."

"Would you get down?" Roy asked, swiping at the younger boy. "Seriously, are you a human or a monkey?"

"Well…"

"Don't answer that."

Kaldur was examining the picture from different angles. "I suppose I can see why this would be…life-threatening," he said eventually.

"That's not even the best part," Wally said.

"We're not done yet," Robin added.

"And you're our new partner," Wally finished.

Roy nearly laughed at the look on Kaldur's face. Nearly.

They had to unite against them somehow, and somehow, Roy knew that laughing at the new voice of reason wouldn't win him any points.

* * *

"Why are we doing this again?" Kaldur asked. His forehead was wrinkled in confusion, and Roy could empathize. **He** didn't even know why they were doing this.

"Because," Dick said.

"Because why?" Roy countered dully.

"It's awesome!" Wally said, enthusiastic about the whole thing. He was the one carrying the bag this time.

"There is no possible way that we will survive this if we are caught," Roy moaned. "I mean, painting the Batmobile was one thing. But this time, we'll **really** be dead! I'm serious, you guys."

"Nothing's going to happen unless you don't shut up, Roy. Besides, both Batman and Agent A are out of the house; there's no way we can get caught. Batman's at his day-job, and Agent A had to go get groceries." Dick held out a hand. "The bottle of dye, if you don't mind, Non-Wussy-Redhead."

"If that's the best insult you can come up with, I pity your Rogues Gallery," Roy deadpanned as Wally handed over the tub of dye. "Dude, why would you do this to your own mentor? What'd he ever do to you?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know," Dick muttered darkly. He slipped into the partially open door, leaving two redheads and an Atlantean, two of whom were looking around nervously.

"W?" Roy asked sternly.

"Uh, well, he…all right, Batman told him he wasn't allowed to hack JL tech." Wally always cracked easily, Roy knew; part of being a Flash, he supposed, since Barry always cracked easily under a Bat-Super-Arrow glare.

"Really? That is why Robin is feeling so…vindictive, I believe the term is?" Kaldur asked.

"Rob always gets worked up over the littlest things," Roy confirmed, scanning the hallway. "Come on, Bat brat, are you almost done in there?"

"Just a minute!" a falsetto voice cooed back. "I'd be back even faster if you weren't calling me names!"

"Really? That's where you're going with this?"

"What's wrong with this?"

"Besides **everything**?"

"Um, I believe that there is someone coming," Kaldur broke in. "Not to interrupt your most **fascinating** conversation…"

"Move now, conversation later," Wally said. "Every man for himself!" He zipped away down the hall.

"Come on," Roy hissed, dragging Kaldur behind him.

"What about Robin?"

"He'll climb through the vent ducts or something," Roy muttered. "Right now, you and I are going to be the ones taking their fall!"

"What do you mean?"

"I'll explain later!"

* * *

"I got pictures!" Dick said, hopping over the back of the couch. All four were back at the sitting room where they'd met Kaldur, and Dick was looking smug as he held up the SD card from a camera.

"Seriously?" Roy asked. "You know, they've probably got this room bugged. I don't know-"

"Relax, there's nothing here that's spying on us," Dick said, waving aside Roy's concerns. "Now…"

He stuck the card into a port on his wrist computer, and the screen popped up. A few minutes of fiddling later, and Dick was proudly displaying the pictures of his mentor. The face was blurred out, to protect Bruce's identity (not like he'd have known anyway, Roy reflected, but better safe than sorry) and showed his now very bright hair.

"White? Seriously?" Wally asked. "Seems…anti-climactic."

"Well, Bruce didn't think it was so funny. Besides, he's convinced that some intruder is getting in through the Batcave and decided to up security, which I've been trying to get him to do for a while."

"Why, so you can hack it?"

"Roy, I'm so offended by your lack of faith in me."

"And knowing you so well," Wally quipped.

"That too."

Kaldur tapped Roy on the shoulder. The redhead turned to look at the newest partner-in-crime.

"Are all humans like this, or just those two?" he asked, gesturing to the bickering duo.

"Just them."

"**Fascinating**."

* * *

"It's too bad that Kaldur had to go back to Atlantis," Dick whispered, hefting a bag over his shoulder. "This is going to be plexing."

Roy stopped, setting his own bag on the ground. "**Plexing**? Is that even a word?"

"It is now," Dick said stubbornly. "You know, instead of perplexing, it's plexing?"

"Ah, no, not really." Roy couldn't help but give a weird look to the youngest in the troop. At twelve, Dick didn't stand much taller than he did at ten, but, if anything, he was in as good as shape, if not better, than he had been. "I think you're making that up."

"So what if I am?"

"Ladies, ladies, there'll be enough time for a catfight later. But right now, I am out of toilet paper and you two haven't even started yet!" Wally broke in, zipping back from wherever he'd been. "Come on!"

Roy shook his head, not even trying to fight it at this point. "Who am I kidding?" he muttered to himself, hefting a roll of cheap toilet paper. "I am in this way too deeply; it will never work to get out of this now."

"This is why I was against you two from the beginning!" Roy snapped, stretching his back. It popped. Loudly. "I mean, really. You were going to get caught, and you dragged poor me along for the ride! See if I ever do anything for you two again."

"Roy. Complaining like a sixth grade girl is beneath you and not at all productive to this punishment," Dick said, scrubbing against a particularly difficult spot on the floor of the Batcave. "I should know; I'm a sixth grader. Give it a rest."

"Oh no," Roy said. His mind whirled at Mach 10, thoughts flickering past before getting rejected or put in the maybe file. "You two are going to help me. I'm seventeen, this kind of punishment must be met with vengeance. Hard."

* * *

Thus delved the epic Sidekicks (sorry, **partners**) versus the Justice League prank war. Some, like Batman, simply gave them chores as a punishment. Superman, Flash, Green Arrow, Hal Jordan, and Captain Marvel, among others, joined in enthusiastically and spared them no mercy. Others, like Hawkman, Wonder Woman, and Red Tornado, refused to participate and simply ignored the goings-on (though Roy was quite certain he overheard Tornado giving Flash advice for a prank on Wally).

Then came the day he was told he would be inducted into the Justice League…

* * *

"Say, Kal?"

Kaldur sighed, setting his book against his knee. "Yes, Wally?" he asked, lifting his head to come face-to-face with a pair of green eyes and a pair of sunglasses. He hastily leaned back, eyeing the two nervously.

"What is it?"

"You know we do actually like you, right? And would never do anything to hurt you as long as you never hurt us?"

Kaldur looked at the faces, pictures of innocence, and remembered something that Roy had told him long ago: _Never trust them!_

"Why?" he asked suspiciously. The grins he received in turn were disconcerting, to say the least.

* * *

"I cannot believe you talked me into this," Kaldur muttered, stopping just behind Wally. The redhead had covered his hair in a familiar black hat from their younger days, and the youngest of their teammates was in the lead. He was currently picking the lock on a Ford Fiesta in the parking lot. "First a prank, and now you are breaking into a car? You do realize that is a crime, do you not?"

"No sweat, Kal, unless you turn us in, the guy that this belongs to won't," Wally said confidently. He unzipped the duffle sitting by the side of the car, pulling out a box of saran wrap. "Wrap the wheel with this when Robbie gets it open. And then loop it around the seat."

Kaldur sighed, but did as he was told. Who was he to argue with the forces of destruction and pranking? His king had told him stories about the 'war to end all wars,' as the elder Atlantean had termed it. Kaldur didn't quite get the joke.

* * *

"And yet, what happened? Oh yes, we got, what's the term? Busted."

"You're so cheerful, Kal," Robin said, sounding cheerful in his own right. "This is just par for the course. And we got Roy to boot!"

"That is what I do not understand," Kaldur said. "Roy used to be the third in the triangle of crime. What has changed that you now see fit to bring me into this?"

"He got inducted into the Justice League," the two boys chorused together.

"Is this really so petty that you would go against your comrade because he is moving on to better things?" Kaldur knew he sounded disapproving, but really. Those three had done practically everything together; there was no reason they should prank one another unless in jest.

"Kal, Kal, Kal," Wally said, shaking his head sadly. "It's not the fact that it's Roy…"

"It's the fact that, as a rule, we all hold a grudge against the Justice League. When Roy joined…"

"It meant war."

In that moment, Kaldur knew two things: One, that he would never understand humans, even if he had grown up around them.

Two, he finally knew the reason that his king had called it the war to end all wars.

* * *

**And done! Kaldur kinda took the show near the end, but I like it. I hope you guys did too, especially you **_**DarthZ**_**!**

**eXtra bonus points if you can tell me where the title came from!**

**Don't forget to vote on the poll on my profile. The one with the most votes will become the newest chapter out of all of them on here! It might not be the next, but it will be worked on more than the rest (none of them are done, but they're all still bouncing around in my head).**

**Also, just because I want to try this…**

**VVVVV**

**VVVVV**

**VVVVV**

**VVVVV**

**VVVVV**

**VVVVV**

**VVVVVVVVVVVVV**

**VVVVVVVVVV**

**VVVVVVV**

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	24. Super Bass

***slaps wrist* Bad author for not updating! It's been, um, *checks* a little over two months, so, yeah. Not that I haven't been posting anything since then, I've written (and finished) three things, and I got a tumblr. I've been somewhat productive.**

**I guess part of it was a friend's death, but I won't go into that too much…**

**Well, um, this is not the update for which the people who voted won *ducks* but I think you might like it. I've recently been scouring tumblr and I found a thing called Young Justice Headcanons, many of which I share. This is inspired by number 56: Dick caught Roy dancing to Super Bass once. Now Roy's contact name in Dick's phone is Nicki Minaj.**

**As usual, standard disclaimer (written in its full, convoluted glory on my profile) applies. I do not own these guys nor the song Super Bass by Nicki Minaj. All the lyrics are placed in **_**italics**_** and are ****underlined**** to distinguish from the rest of the piece.**

**Also, warning for language. Not mine, but the song lyrics because most everything has a swear word or double intent to it. I tried to use the ones that didn't have **_**too**_** much offensive/bad stuff to it.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Super Bass

* * *

"_I said, excuse me, you're a hell of a guy; I mean my, my, my, my you're like pelican fly; I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie; you're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye."_

Dick stopped, eyes wide open and ears perked. He thought…but no, it couldn't be. Not…

"_Yes I did, yes I did; somebody please tell him who the eff I is; I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up; back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up."_

Dick fumbled with his phone, using the cover of the very loud music to open the door to Roy's room in the Mountain. He still had one, even if he never used it much. Dick started the recording as Roy launched into the chorus.

"_Boy, you got my heartbeat running away; beating like a drum and it's coming your way; can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom; boom, badoom, boom bass?"_

Dick couldn't resist a snicker as Roy danced to the song, a pack open on the bed. Dick privately thought the older teen had good rhythm; he was spot on to the dance (not that Dick would know that; he had been forced to watch that, really) and he sang along to the song loudly.

"This is going straight to the League computer, right where the entire League will find it," Dick murmured to himself, watching as Roy turned to the music – and opened his eyes.

The two teens froze, staring at each other. The video and music were forgotten in favor of the horrors each felt; Dick at being caught watching (and taping), Roy for being found out that yes, he danced to Nicki Minaj songs.

"I, uh," Roy began intelligently.

"Uh, yeah," Dick added.

Roy then seemed to realize what, exactly, Dick had in his hand. "You little twerp!" he yelled, pointing to the phone. "Tell me you weren't recording that!"

Dick looked at his hand, blinking in shock. Oh yeah, that… "No?" he offered.

"Arrgh!" Roy yelled inarticulately, lunging for the phone. "Give me that!"

Dick ran, aiming over his shoulder. It was streaming live to the Batcave's computer, and that automatically saved anything streamed across it. "Never!" he yelled back, laughing. "I didn't realize you were a vigilante AND a guy, Nicki Minaj!"

* * *

"Tell me you didn't," Wally laughed, nearly falling from the couch in his exuberance. "You didn't call him that!"

"I did, the proof's right there," Dick said, grinning widely as he pointed to the frozen image on the screen. Roy's face was absolutely priceless in that moment, face bright red, hair on end, running through the hall with his mouth wide open and eyes slightly demented-looking. Only slightly. Really.

"Priceless!" Wally could only laugh.

"Oh, and that's not it." Dick scrolled through his phone, pulling something open. "Look."

This time, Wally **did** fall to the floor in his laughter.

* * *

_**Five Years Later**_

The new team was all crowded into the living room, Dick's phone set on the coffee table. Tim stared at it, willing it to ring. Dick had pushed him to the living room, where most of the others had already been gathered, in the middle of their sparring session. He'd been given the older Bat's phone and told to wait for more information; Speedy had been found. Dick was going to check it out himself.

"Why did he give you his phone?" Jaime wondered, hoisting himself over the back of the couch to sit down heavily. "Couldn't he have called you?"

"I don't know what Dick's evil mastermind plot is," Tim muttered, scooting himself slightly to the side. "I-"

The zeta tube went off twice in quick succession, admitting two people each time. First were Rocket and Zatanna, and then Wally and Artemis.

"Whoa," Wally said, looking at all the teens in the room. "What is this?"

"You get the call from 'Wing?" Mal asked. "'Cause all he said was that we should wait here for more information regarding Speedy."

"I think we all did," Zatanna offered, looking slightly confused.

"Dude, wait!" Wally began, but he was interrupted by the phone ringing.

"_Boy, you got my heartbeat running away; beating like a drum and it's coming your way; can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom; boom, badoom, boom bass?"_

The entire room jumped as the very loud sound of the years-old song blared from the phone on the coffee table. Hesitantly, Tim reached out and picked up the phone, looking at the caller ID.

"Why is Nicki Minaj calling Nightwing's phone?" he asked, already setting the phone to speaker.

"…" Wally began to laugh loudly, falling to the floor in exuberance. Artemis looked at him strangely, poking him with her toe.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"_Are you there?"_ a female voice asked. Noises around the room made it sound like that phone was on speaker as well.

"Um, Ms. Minaj?" Jaime asked. "Might we ask why you are calling?"

"_You didn't!"_ another voice said. It sounded like yelling, and was very familiar…

"Roy! Dude, you won't believe what Di- I mean, Nightwing did to you!" Wally half-yelled, half-laughed as he managed to make his way to the table. "It's priceless!"

"_You are so dead!"_ the same voice yelled, and the room realized just who it was. Crashing sounds floated over the connection.

"_Would somebody fill me in? I'm lost,"_ the first voice said. A baby laugh came over the phone, and Dick's laugh from his Robin days filled the room. Roy's inarticulate cries were drowned out by Wally's laughter.

"Yes, please explain," M'gann said.

"Well, see, it's like this: you won't believe it until you see it." Wally stood, intermittent giggles – giggles! Wally never giggled! – cutting off his words. "Wait here, I know where Dick has a copy of it. Cheshire, I know that's you on the other side, and I know you know where we live. Come over later and we'll show you. Oh, this is going to be good! Robin, whatever you do, don't hang up that phone! You either, Cheshire!"

* * *

**Yes, Wally's friendly with Cheshire, because he knows she kinda switched sides and is Artemis' sister, so he can stand her slightly.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed that, short as it is. Pure crack, I tell you…Anywho, if you'd be so kind to leave a review telling me what I did wrong, I'll fix it for next time, whenever that may be. Thank you!**


	25. It Seems Your Cognition Is a Little Off

**All right, I just want to make one thing clear: Everything related to ****cognitive psychology**** listed in this ficlet is, **_**as near as I can tell and find out**_**, TRUE. I should know; I did a 97-slide presentation on it for my high school Psych class, and that is what this story is based on. All the information I used, I collected from that presentation since it was already in one spot.**

**Is it convoluted and confusing? **Hell yes. You ought to see some of the diagrams in this slideshow of ours. If I can find them again, I'll post the links at the bottom AN.

**Do I understand it all? **No. When I head off to college, I'd like to see about either majoring or minoring in psychology (likely minoring) so that I'll possibly understand it better. If/when that happens, I might make a bit of a sequel to this. We'll have to see.

**Is it guaranteed to be 100% accurate? **No. It is, however, as accurate as my current level of education (and liberal use of the internet and cross-referencing) can make it. As I said before, I want to either major or minor in psychology so I can understand it a little more. Let's just say my Psych teacher is awesome, and quite a few people go in for Psych in college.

**Do I think this is how we really use our brains and get personality? **Hard to say. I would deduce we get some of it from here, but not all of it. Nature (biological psychology is key on this one) has its values, and that's not to forget about nurture. However, some of the things in behavioral is just plain weird (that's the one that Freud is famous for), and I can't say I think it plays as big a factor in personality. For that matter, some of the stuff here is weird, so there's no room to talk.

**Is this AN too long? **Probably. Very likely. Yes. No. Maybe so. Who knows. You'll have to make your own decision. But I think it's very likely this is too long and that you've stopped reading by now. Unless you haven't. In which case I would tell you to enjoy. But if you aren't, it's a totally moot point and I should just begin the story. But I'm enjoying this too much, so I won't. Except that the story's already below. Which means that it has to start sometime soon. But not yet. Not by a long shot. But it will start now.

_**MAYBE.**_

* * *

It Seems Your Cognition Is a Little Off

* * *

"What on earth is _that_?" Bart asked as he slowed in his race for the kitchen. He leaned over Dick's shoulder, pointing to the slideshow on his computer. "That's totally not crash, dude."

"It's a presentation for my psychology class," the den mother replied, snapping the screen shut on his computer. "Why are you so nosy?"

"Not nosy, curious," the redhead corrected, pulling the screen back up and deftly unlocking it. Dick didn't want to know how the teen knew his passcode.

"Nosy," Dick said firmly, wrenching the device away and closing the computer again. "Stop messing with my stuff. Personal things get told when they get told. And I'm not telling you about this."

Bart gave a theatric sigh. "Fine," he grumbled.

* * *

Two days later, Dick was dealing with another redhead-related headache. This time, it was squared.

He'd woken up in his apartment and wandered over to get coffee before noticing the duo on his couch watching a slideshow. One that looked intimately familiar…

"Hey! How'd you get there?" he asked, waking up faster than if they'd dumped a bucket of cold water on him. Which they had, but that's a story for another time.

"Bart," Wally replied, clicking the mouse and watching the screen change. "Do you even understand half of this?"

"I understand enough," Dick replied vaguely, taking a strong gulp of coffee. "Why?"

"It's convoluted, for one," Roy muttered. "I mean, it makes no sense whatsoever. Zombies? Really?"

"_Philosophical _zombies," the black-haired teen corrected, snatching his laptop back. "There's a difference."

"What difference?!"

"A philosophical zombie, or p-zombie, is a hypothetical being that is indistinguishable from normal humans in no other way than it does not experience qualia. A form of p-zombie, called a thought zombie or t-zombie, are the ones used in thought experiments."

"And, ah, what exactly is qualia again?"

Dick leaned his head back in frustration. "You start watching this slideshow, and you have no idea what half of it is about?"

"I read the slides, but there is no way that that made sense."

"Qualia is the idea of what it's like to be something else, or things that we can experience that can't be sufficiently explained to someone who has never experienced it."

"Like what?" Wally asked, digging into a bag of popcorn.

"The color red."

"That's not an example, you can tell someone all about red-"

"But can you tell someone what it looks like?"

Wally opened his mouth, gaped for a moment, then closed it in defeat.

"Exactly," Dick said smugly.

* * *

**BART IS SUCH A HARD CHARACTER TO DO! *cries* That's why he only has a couple lines, as much as I like him.**

**Lame and short chapter is lame and short, and makes no sense, but I liked doing the PowerPoint and I love making people's heads spin. *trolls***

**There's a rather lonely box below this note which would like words to be put in it and then maybe even a pressing of the submit button! Reviews make the world (an author's world, anyway) go round, and it would be the best birthday present you guys could give me, even if it's just one word or a long rant on how terrible this was.**


	26. Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom

**Hi everyone, been a long time since I updated this one! This one isn't for Halloween (that one goes to ****Wendigo****, which is posted separately and is a Dick/Tim brofluff-ish story), it's just a fun thing for me. The idea came from watching a video far too many times, and would not leave me alone until it got put down on paper. Definitely not my best, but hey. Not my worst either.**

**Nothing explicit, but it's probably a good PG-13. Faint undertones of male/male, but it really isn't slash. Just…well, I'll let you read.**

**Note: within the story, **_**italics**_** are singing/emphasis and possibly thoughts, bold is the Scarab speaking. There is a bit of "naughty" language at the very end.**

* * *

Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom

Aka, Five Times the Team Refused to Ask, and One Time They Found Out Anyway

* * *

Part the First: Batgirl Does Not Wish to Know Her Boyfriend's Antics

Barbara Gordon knew a lot about Nightwing. She knew his real name was Richard Grayson, but he preferred to go by Dick. She knew he was the ward of Bruce Wayne. She knew he had been Batman's protégé since he was nine. She knew that he was her boyfriend.

But there were times when she absolutely did not know what her boyfriend was doing, and most of those, she found out anyway.

Like the time he had raced past her with a wide grin on his face. All he'd yelled was, "Hi, Babs!" as he slung around the halls of Wayne Manor in his socks. She had stared after him for a minute before Tim came around the corner, ready to commit murder. She'd shaken her head at his silent question, staring as he stalked down the halls after the wayward former Robin, very red hair waving in his anger.

Or the time when he had managed to get a hold of Roy's phone and had him call himself. Barbara really wasn't sure how that one had worked out.

But sometimes, she simply refused to ask, under pain of torture. This was one of those times.

As she walked through the hall past the rooms, she froze outside Dick's, listening to the arguments from within.

"No, that one doesn't do anything at all! We have to look _appealing_, not _insane stalker_!"

"Look, all I'm saying is that from my client's point, it won't matter what we look like, just that we get the target! And if that means insane stalker…"

"I'm _not_ going out in that outfit!"

"I'm not making you!"

Like she said. Sometimes, she just didn't want to know what her boyfriend and one of his best friends were doing. She shook her head and disappeared down the hall.

* * *

Part the Second: Miss Martian is Traumatized

Even though she was going on seven years on Earth, M'gann still didn't understand a lot of Earth's culture. Sure, she'd immersed herself in it and understood everything important, but there was a lot of…what was it called, inundo? Innuendo? …that was over her head.

There was a lot she still wanted to know. Like why teenage boys ate like starving men, or how pop culture got popular.

But really, there was a whole lot more she just didn't want to know.

This was another of those times.

On her way to her room, she paused outside Nightwing's room. She could feel a subtle beat making the floor vibrate, and had she not been calming her thoughts she would have missed it. When she listened, she was sure she could also hear singing, so she stuck her head through the wall.

She immediately wished she hadn't.

Roy was in the room, just him. He had civvies on, but they weren't any civvies she had ever found to be deemed 'acceptable.' He was wearing a very, very thin white shirt that barely covered, and even then it was stretching on the biceps and triceps. A tight-looking pair of camouflage pants and his big, black, Red Arrow combat boots completed the look, and his back was to the door.

It wouldn't have been bad, except that he was also singing under his breath.

"_Too sexy for my shirt, so sexy that it hurts. Oh, I'm sexy and I know it!"_ he sang, merging two different songs together and not seeming to care. As he sang, he slowly untucked the shirt in front of the mirror on the closet. M'gann watched for a moment as he slowly unbuttoned the shirt, then removed her head from the wall. She shivered in slight fear of what she had just witnessed.

"I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know," she chanted, changing directions from her room to the cleaning supplies. If she couldn't find the so-called brain bleach, regular would have to do.

* * *

Part the Third: Blue Beetle is Also Traumatized

Jaime was many things. Crazy, sometimes (all right, maybe not only when the Scarab was acting up). Insane, well, depends what the Scarab was up to.

So most of his problems could be blamed on the Scarab. It was the stupid thing's fault anyway.

Nothing, however, could have prepared him for the conversation he overheard from Nightwing's room.

"Does this make my butt look big?"

Jaime recognized the voice of Roy, badass extraordinaire. Well, mostly. That one depended on what Wally and Nightwing had done to him recently. But that…well, the only thing that would've surprised Jaime more was…

"No, but my shirt's not tight enough." Nightwing's voice. Jaime fell over.

"**Jaime Reyes, I am detecting activity within the room. I shall show you what is happening."**

"No!" Jaime yelled, panicked. "I really don't want to know!"

"**How will we protect ourselves if we do not know what is going on around us all the time?"** the Scarab complained as Jaime scrambled away from the door.

"Trust me, some things are better left alone," he muttered, slamming the door to his own room.

* * *

Part the Fourth: Lagoon Boy is Confused Beyond All Reason

La'gaan had not been on the surface long enough to understand a lot of the cultural references.

His Angelfish didn't get a lot of them either, so it wasn't so bad, but most of the Team was human (or mostly human), so they got a lot of things that went over the others' heads.

One thing La'gaan did know, however, was strippers.

Not that he'd ever been near one, though! His King would be dishonored and, worse, his Angelfish would be disgusted with him. No, best to stay away from the strippers.

Especially the ones that seemed to have taken over his leader's room at the Mountain. Loud music, catcalls (at least, that's what he _thought_ they were called), and dropped clothing leading to the zeta tubes were very big indicators.

No, it would be best not to get near that with a ten-foot pole. Or any pole, for that matter, not just a ten-foot one.

Maybe this would be something to ask his Angelfish about. Ten foot poles…

* * *

Part the Fifth: Robin Just Refuses to Ask Because He Does Not Need/Want to Know Ever

As a Bat, Tim was more in the loop on a lot of things. He knew what needed to be done and did it. No messing around for him.

That was Dick's job.

The former Robin hadn't grown as much as Tim was sure he'd like to. Tim was gaining steadily on him, and was almost taller than his honorary big brother. That was why Bruce still used Dick for the…er, decidedly feminine jobs. No matter how much he grew or put on muscle, the other boy could pass for a girl with the right makeup and outfit.

Now that was a scary thought.

Especially since (and here Tim shivered, remembering the incident in vivid detail) he'd been trying to hit on Dick once. In Tim's defense, though, he didn't know Dick was running an op in the same club, or that they were after the opposite of a partnership – Dick the guy, Tim the girl.

The whole thing still gave him nightmares.

This, though, was going into the 'never to be heard from again and forgotten until the end of time or when Tim needed blackmail material.'

"No, you can't use that for music! Do you even realize how cliché that is?!"

Wait, that was Wally's voice. Wasn't he retired from hero work? Tim moved closer to listen.

"Then what do you suggest?!"

"Something with a little class, man. Class!"

Roy's voice butted into the conversation. "West, do you have a song selection or not?!"

"But of course, my dear stripper, but of course. Listen."

The light, peppy beats of the drum set and guitar floated out to Tim's ears. He didn't recognize the song (he didn't listen to music much, anyway), but Dick said, "Hey, actually, that could work…"

Wally switched the music off, and Tim just knew there was a grin on his face. "Told you."

That was it. Tim didn't want to hear any more. Something with strippers and music was all he needed to know, and even that was too much.

* * *

Part the Sixth: The One Time (Almost All) of Them Found Out and Will Never Forget

"I can't believe we're doing this," Roy moaned. "This is ruining my manly image. I have a sorta-wife, and a daughter. I'm pretty sure this violates an unwritten law in there somewhere."

"Buck up, man, we're right here with you," Dick said, crossing his arms. He wasn't any happier; he was sure Bruce had told him he was finished working in the clubs. "And if my girlfriend ever finds out, which I'm sure she already knows anyway, I'm dead."

"Same," Wally said. "I can't believe I agreed to do this with you."

"You three are up next," the stage manager said, cutting into the conversation. "Get ready to go in just a minute. This one's short."

"Oh, goody," Wally muttered. The boys took off their jackets, took deep breaths, and, when the applause died away for the previous 'act', walked onto stage.

All right, walked was not a strong enough word. Moved sensually; strutted; all those would be more apt words to describe it.

The three made a triangle, Dick in front, and waited for the music to start. The beat started, and they began to dance.

Dick rotated his hips slowly as the female voice crooned the _whoas_. Behind him, Roy and Wally had moved together and were all but rubbing against each other. It was a testament to their bromance (Wally's words) that they weren't embarrassed about it.

Then came the refrain. It had taken several days of watching the moves carefully, but they managed to nail the choreographed moves from the music video. The three continued dancing for the remaining two minutes of the song, beginning with a slow strip of their clothes as the next _whoa_ started up. First came the very tight white shirts, leaving them bare-chested and in the camouflaged army pants and boots. Dick even had an armband of (thankfully not live) ammo, much like the video did.

He pretended to nip at Roy's ear as the song finished, left only in the rather tight pants. His legs were straight out as he sat on Roy's back, bent over the redhead's head. Wally was on his knees in front, bent in a curve so he looked straight at Roy's groin while still looking at his face.

The applause was deafening, and the announcement came over that they were the final act of the evening, and all the dancers would be available in the back rooms. Dick sought out the target and watched her eye the three appealingly.

"Boys, I think we caught ourselves a cou…gar…" He trailed off, eyes widening as he caught the looks of Tim, Garfield, Jaime, Bart, and La'gaan. To his horror, Tim's phone was out.

"Fuck," he moaned, burying his face in Roy's bare shoulder as the taller, older teen carried him off-stage. "I'm screwed."

* * *

**Trivia! What does the title signify/what is it? Bonus points if you name the creator(s)! There are plenty of hints for both, so it should be easy.**

**Reviews appreciated, as always. They make me smile every time I read one.**


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